I don't think my request was unreasonable (bbq related)

[OhNoNoNoNotThatOne]

So gorgeous weather where I live today.

I did all my washing this morning and put it out preempting mid afternoon bbqs planning to bring it in after lunch, fairly windy here, perfect drying weather.

Around 1pm I started to smell smoke, so I popped outside and bought all my washing in (now needs washing again as it stinks of smoke as do my livingroom curtains) I guess my mid afternoon preempt may have been a bit late.

I really have no issues whatsoever with bbqs, they're one of my favourite things about the summer, but considering there is wind and neighbours will clearly have washing out, was I really unreasonable for posting on the local Facebook page asking people please being a bit more considerate and checking if any of their neighbours have washing out before lighting their bbqs?

I got totally piled on saying that what people do in their gardens is their choice (I don't deny that) people aren't allowed to see family why can't they have a bbq and have fun (I only asked them to be considerate and check their surroundings/give fair warning first) I was also told that someone is a keyworker it's their first Sunday off and they can spend it how they want (again I'm not telling them not to have a bbq, just asking them to be considerate) someone else said its a bbq, they'd understand if it was a bonfire (that's fine, but my washing and curtains stink of smoke) others just took the general piss and said they don't care about anyone else...

Again all I asked was that people be considerate of other people.

So wise people of mumsnet, I put it to you, was I unreasonable to ask people to be considerate or should I have just grumbled about it to dh and not said anything?

What the heck was this bbq like that caused so much smoke your washing needed re washing?

I think the question should be, who did you reach out to, in person, to warn them you would be having a BBQ? Tell what time you were planning on putting it on? You haven't mentioned that you took these steps so why would you expect anyone else to?

So what you’re saying is that your own chosen use of your back garden (drying washing) takes priority over a neighbour’s chosen use of their back garden today (BBQ)?

Sorry. Unless the neighbour was burning tyres or playing ABBA at deafening levels you have no right to make that ruling.

Maybe you should have been more considerate & not hung washing out on a Sunday as you know it’s a popular day to BBQ?

@sugarplumfairy28 “reaching out” is definitely not permitted between neighbours at the moment!

Where did they light the bbq?
In your living room?

Saying you have to rewash your clothes and curtains again because of a bbq is a bit exaggerated to me.

I’m surprised how this thread went. I always check that next door haven’t got washing out before lighting a BBQ so don’t think this part is unreasonable. I think posting it on Facebook however was, why not speak to them over the fence instead?

OP are you a hound? I can't believe a regular BBQ can create enough of a smell to cause an issue if you bought your washing in quickly, never mind making your curtains smell too!

You need to live and let live a little more.

Not sure your neighbours are supposed to come round knocking just now anyway. It’s maybe a bit inconvenient for you to redo your washing but it’s worth an eye roll at most. Not a Facebook post

Health officials are actually asking people not to have BBQ's because it makes people with covid-19 symptoms, alot worse!

Do your washing on weekdays or buy a dryer.

You aren't asking people to "show consideration." You're asking them not to have barbecues if other people have laundry up. You're prioritizing one activity over another. Either way, one party is going to be annoyed.

I do actually check my neighbours either side before lighting ours! But we smoke meat so usually it's going from midday and whilst not always very smokey does flare up - but I just check out the window and if they have washing out I either knock the door or text them a bit before we start up. I wouldn't not light it though!

I would always knock if we had a BBQ and the neighbour had washing out. I think it's a bit anti-social not to give them a heads up and the chance to bring the washing in. But in these social distancing times, I can see why people might be reluctant to knock on someone's door. Posting on a local FB page seems destined to get the sorts of responses you did, though. Everyone who's had a BBQ in the last few weeks will feel like it's a dig at them.

It's a BBQ, not a pile of car tyres.

Your washing & curtains do not need (re) washing.

Your bedrooms filled with smoke hours later,...nonsense.

No smoke without bbq. Burning stuff makes smoke

V. Unreasonable.

We had a BBQ yesterday. What were we meant to do? Climb out 6ft fence and shout over to both sides and get permission? And what about the houses next to those (terrace), how many people do we need to check with that its OK?
Not just that, but your invading peoples personal and private times by bothering them, and is it essential contact to bother your neighbours about a BBQ?
Nope.

Unfortunately, if you hang your washing out, there's a chance of atmospheric smells, its nothing a little bit of airing out won't fix? Prehaps putting your washing out early morning?!

CoffeeRunner That's pretty much my point. If the OP can't go and speak to her neighbours than she can't expect them to do it either, relying on social media in unrealistic although it seems they only used it to moan.

You should 'reach out' to people now? Are we on Dr Phil?

You are ‘that neighbour’ aren’t you!

I hear you OP. We are in a flat of a converted house. Most of the people on our street are families. If our neighbours start a bbq or fire pit (as they often do) we have to shut our windows. Which you'd think wouldn't be too bad. Outside of lockdown we wouldn't be in the flat on a nice day as we have no outdoor space. The best we can do at the moment is open our windows. So if we have to shut them because of a bbq it really sucks. But I can't begrudge people only thinking of themselves. It's human nature.

LMAO
YABVVVU
I sure as shit wouldn't be asking my neighbors when they wash to time a bbq around it.
If a neighbor contacted me over my bbq and their washing, I'd literally laugh at you.
It's a bbq, food, not a big plastic fire or tyre pile burning

It's as stupid of a request as the woman who took a neighbor to court for having a bbq, simply cos she vegan and didn't like the smell. Court threw out the case, the woman was panned Australia wide.

We've just bought a new bbq. Our neighbours always have washing out. If I waited until they took it in we'd never use the damn thing. It's tough IMO. Plus the way our gardens are I can't see into most of the others.

Do you usually wash your curtains after every bbq then??

Or do you close all doors and windows while bbqs are happening??

I’d option 2 is what you do then you must spend the whole entire summer in a very hot house!

1pm is lunchtime, so perfectly reasonable to have a barbecue then. Ideally, your neighbours could have told you, but unless they have your number, or were peering over the fence to see what was going on in your garden, how were they to know ?