I don't think my request was unreasonable (bbq related)

[OhNoNoNoNotThatOne]

So gorgeous weather where I live today.

I did all my washing this morning and put it out preempting mid afternoon bbqs planning to bring it in after lunch, fairly windy here, perfect drying weather.

Around 1pm I started to smell smoke, so I popped outside and bought all my washing in (now needs washing again as it stinks of smoke as do my livingroom curtains) I guess my mid afternoon preempt may have been a bit late.

I really have no issues whatsoever with bbqs, they're one of my favourite things about the summer, but considering there is wind and neighbours will clearly have washing out, was I really unreasonable for posting on the local Facebook page asking people please being a bit more considerate and checking if any of their neighbours have washing out before lighting their bbqs?

I got totally piled on saying that what people do in their gardens is their choice (I don't deny that) people aren't allowed to see family why can't they have a bbq and have fun (I only asked them to be considerate and check their surroundings/give fair warning first) I was also told that someone is a keyworker it's their first Sunday off and they can spend it how they want (again I'm not telling them not to have a bbq, just asking them to be considerate) someone else said its a bbq, they'd understand if it was a bonfire (that's fine, but my washing and curtains stink of smoke) others just took the general piss and said they don't care about anyone else...

Again all I asked was that people be considerate of other people.

So wise people of mumsnet, I put it to you, was I unreasonable to ask people to be considerate or should I have just grumbled about it to dh and not said anything?

What should they do - check all gardens within a mile radius and knock on asking people to take their washing in? Apart from the social distance/going out aspect all they would get is a load of verbal from people like you?

Or just not burn loads of smelly stuff in your garden?

Why did you think bbqs wouldn't start til mid afternoon, especially 'after lunch' as you say? People tend to eat in the middle of the day, or in the evening. And you need to light a bbq well before you start cooking. So any time from 12 would sound like the exact sort of time I'd expect a bbq to start.

People have noses like bloodhounds on MN.

Haha. I feel like these will be one of those threads that will go down in history.

OP - YABVVU. Why should poor Joe Bloggs and family two doors down have to wait all day until YOU decide your washing is dry? It's a beautiful day, you stated yourself yourself that you love a barbecue, so why shouldn't others? I'm sure you can't even see across a few fences so I'm sure in the past your barbecue has come into contact with someone else's washing?!

Posting on Facebook about it was asking for trouble. As far as I can tell all anyone does on residents' groups is wind each other up.

"It's my choice" is simplistic rubbish though, especially when it comes to actions that affect other people.

I've never heard of a neighbour asking permission for a bbq/checking people have their washing in. Nobody has ever asked us if we mind. We've never asked anyone.

I think if it's a weekend and it's sunny then it's fair game. I'd plan to get my washing in by 11.30, in case people are lighting up at lunch time.

No, I don't think people should have to check with their neighbours.

Right, so no one should ever have a BBQ, Manchester? Like that will ever happen.

Or just not burn loads of smelly stuff in your garden?

@Macncheeseballs It's a bbq. You cook it, not burn it.

Charcoal also produces very little smoke.

Never voted on here before. You were 100% unreasonable to post about it passive aggressively on fb. It was warm, people have bbqs. Not in a million years would I warn my neighbours.

We had a BBQ and the laundry was on our line.

The world did not spin off its axis.

I'm just wondering why, if you were expecting bbqs, you didn't just wait until tomorrow to put out your washing?

I hate barbeques. They certainly shouldn't be having them in the early afternoon.

Yanbu to me. I was always brought up to do a quick check of my nearest neighbours and pop round to warn them if I was going to light a bbq if I saw washing out. It’s just being polite and considerate, surely?

Where I live now nobody does - every single afternoon for the last 2 weeks there’s been either a bbq or bonfire, along with constant booming music. It’s so oppressive and inconsiderate, and I absolutely hate it.

thinking about it from both perspectives, why does your want to hang your washing outside on a nice day outweigh their want to have a BBQ on a nice day?

I do get it, I also get annoyed when I have to bring my clothes in/wash them again, but on the other hand, sometimes I leave my washing on the line hours after it's dry, should my neighbours not have a BBQ because I cba to bring it in?

It’s so oppressive

Snort.

In a practical sense during the lockdown what would you suggest neighbours do before bbq to alert others?

You post on Facebook was not helpful just annoying.

Wankleman, well then my neighbours must be doing their barbeques all wrong, cos we get bathed in pungent plumes of smoke whenever they decide to whack out their meat, as it were, which is pretty regularly at the moment

My next door neighbours always call to say they’re having a bbq if they see washing on the line.

Surely Sunday lunchtime/afternoon/evening would be one of the most obvious times when people might have a BBQ and you say in your OP you were pre-empting mid-afternoon BBQs. Don't know why you were then annoyed that someone had a BBQ at lunchtime and then had to post on facebook asking people to be more considerate. Eh? What are they supposed to do - go round asking if anyone might want to put their washing out or give notice that in 2 hours the BBQ will be on so you might want to get your washing in before then.
Very silly and very unreasonable.

Even over night too

But...but...

I don’t get why you’d assume afternoon but not bbqs for lunch. If people had to check washing every time they had a bbq, they might never have one. I don’t believe it smelt that much from a bbq.

My garden is surrounded by gardens from 2 other streets.

I'd have to go round knocking on doors in all 3 streets including my own, to tell them all I'm lighting a barbie.

I'm pretty sure they'd all think I was insane.

I’m totally pissed off with people having bonfires and lighting BBQ’s In my area- all in the name of ‘free choice’ and ‘having fun’ when I’ve got a child recovering from the virus and still coughing so much. I opened her bedroom windows to air her room one day last week when she was well enough to be out of bed for a bit, only to start putting her to bed and find her room was full of smoke from a neighbours BBQ.
There was no way she could sleep in there, and my room was the same so it was a night in the living room for us, the last thing we needed after all she’s had to deal with.
Given C19 is known to attack the respiratory system I’ve come to the conclusion that the people who start fires or BBQs at the moment are either selfish or completely stupid. Or both.

Sorry OP but YABU and a bit silly....