Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

[Peyton2020]

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

They're awful, wait until you're 65+ with saggy skin and an old lady hair do.

Easy way to solve that, don't get an old lady hairdo.

What nasty comments from some posters on this thread.

I don't get any of this. My fiance doesn't give a shit so long as I feel good about myself. Often, I'll ask for example, his preference on a new hair colour. If I'm feeling a bit ambivalent but want a change. He always goes with what I want for my body. Same for my tattoos.

When we met, I already had 9 of them. All personal and meaningful to me, I got them for me after all. And I intend to have more when I can, if I want to. He is from a quite conservative Muslim family and neither he nor his family have ever made comments nor requested that I get no more. They also didn't request that I cover them for his sisters wedding (they are on my wrists and forearms, all writing). The idea of my fiance or his family ever commenting on my tattoos or any future ones I might have, is absurd to me. And trust me when I tell you, they are very upfront about things like this.

My point is, despite none of them having tattoos (except his amazing grandmother who I adore!) Or wanting them, or even understanding them, they accept them as part of me, and part of my culture. It interests them. Same way that my black and bright pink dutch braids did when I had that done (fake pink hair) for my visit to them. It fascinated them as it is unusual. Similarly, I wore, by choice, headscarves perhaps 50 percent of the time as I love their culture too.

I think my point is, you can have certain views and feelings for yourself but you can't force them on someone else. Especially someone you love. Even if you don't like them personally. My fiance I don't think would ever get a tattoo in 20 lifetimes 😂 his brother also dislikes them. Yet I have never ever felt judged or less attractive by my fiance! Not once.

For him, he loves me. As I am. And when I love myself, and feel confident, that makes me the best version of myself for him to love. Far more attractive. With the added bonus of feeling secure and happy together. That is the most important thing.

He sounds awful. Really. Get what you want. A relationship shouldn't be like this. Ever. As a pp said when you're old your tits will be touching your knees anyway! 😂 what will he say about that? Love should go much deeper than this.

They're awful, wait until you're 65+ with saggy skin and an old lady hair do.

You do realise old ladies have their hair like that because it's what was fashionable when they were young. You don't get to 65 and suddenly have an overwhelming desire to get a perm.

In 30 years time the old ladies will all be walking around with jeans, trainrs and messy buns. And the young people will think that's "old lady fashion". Oh and some of us may have a few wrinkly tattoos too! 😁

Love should go much deeper than this.

For ops partner it litrially is only skin deep.

LMAO

all the stuck up cows are in fine form!

I wonder if they would say tattoos are chavvy if it turned out her husband belted her when he told her he'd leave. I doubt it.

OP didn't ask for anyone's opinion on the style of the tattoo, the fact that so many people seem to think it's okay to attack her choices based on their personal dislike of ink, is ridiculous. I hope she gets the tattoo and dumps him.

I never get why people say "they will look awful when you're old" like people with tattoos haven't considered that. I'm not bothered what I look like when I'm 65.

You won’t be old when you’re 65. You’ll still be working.

I knew this post wouldn’t go well, posts about tattoos never do!

I can vaguely see where OP’s DH is coming from. Let’s use David Beckham as an example. Sexy guy starts getting tattoos - the first few were great, and actually added to his sexiness. Then he gets a shitload more, up his neck, back of his hands, meanwhile the ink on the others is starting to fade, giving him that dirty Smurf look, which isn’t sexy, quite off putting in fact. Whilst I wouldn’t threaten to leave him, I wouldn’t like them, for me it’s a step too far, he’s not as sexy as he used to be.

Full disclosure - I have a tattoo.

Why the fuck will I suddenly want an old lady hair do when I hit 65? 65 year olds aren't old. I'll still be in FT work with at least 3 years to go before retirement at 65.

And if my skin is saggy then, why will it being untattooed and saggy be any better than it being tattooed and saggy?

People are so bloody weird about other people's skin.

But....... please don’t get a rose / clock combo, they’re the equivalent of the 90s tattoo trend of Chinese symbols. Last time I was getting tattoo’d a couple of the artists (the most respected studio in a large city) were laughing at how tacky they were......

And there it is. In ten years time whatever you get permanently scored into your skin will look 'tacky' even to people who like them.

On the forearm isn’t maybe the best place. I think you may regret that. The design sounds really nice though. How about a compromise and having it on your upper back/shoulder area or thigh?

I'm not bothered what I look like when I'm 65.

You will be when you're 64.

TheSandman if I was bothered, I wouldn't have got the tattoos in the first place.

I think the discrepancy comes from people thinking they’re deeply original and creative with their tattoo, fake pink braids or whatever.

Whereas, others see it as this year’s fashion statement, 90’s tribal band, Chinese symbol, crocs, shell suit. In other words, hugely unimaginative and frankly a bit juvenile.

Similar to only truly stupid people think they’re clever, faultless and never question their on behaviours and motives.

TheSandman
Why are you so bothered what other people do? Never understood this. I bet you are one of those people who would turn the best candidate down for a job because he/she had a tattoo

My slipknot tattoo actually got me a job once because the interviewer was a big fan

"I don't really care" – TheSandman two days ago.

Sure!

If someone gave you a job because you liked the same job, either it’s not a very good job, or that person is a bell-end.

Band not job, sorry!

When you’re sat in an ambulance with someone for 16 hours a day it has to be with someone you’re going to get along with. And I was a fucking great paramedic Thankyou very much.

When you’re sat in an ambulance with someone for 16 hours a day it has to be with someone you’re going to get along with. And I was a fucking great paramedic Thankyou very much.

Kind of negates your point @rosiepony, it's like you can have an awesome job, been intelligent, able to get on well and have a tattoo? Imagine that!

I will fookin rock my tattoos and old lady grey hair when I'm 65.
So bugger off all you tattoo haters!

I’ve already said that! You can love and respect the person but also think they have crap taste.

My DP and some of my NHS colleagues have tattoos. I love them but think their tattoos look shit.

In the same way, my friend who hates cats, thinks it’s vile that I kiss my cat and let her sleep on my bed. She thinks it’s gross, but she loves me anyway.

Sorry about the slipknow comment. But I’m fucking certain that he gave you the job because of your skill and accomplishments, not because of a silly tattoo.

I've seen some heavily tattooed people aged 60+ and I always think they look great!