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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

731 replies

Peyton2020 · 18/04/2020 22:03

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
hesgotit · 20/04/2020 14:18

@TheSandman you could've just asked that then? But for some reason you came out with some weird comment?

TheSandman · 20/04/2020 14:21

I really must learn to stop feeding the trolls.

plonk.

TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 14:24

I'm with you there the Sandman.

HopeYouGotTheLetter · 20/04/2020 14:39

I'm with you there TheSandman.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 20/04/2020 14:52

No, Hope, we haven't. Not everyone on the thread has said this at all.

HopeYouGotTheLetter · 20/04/2020 15:06

Omg it was obviously a figure of speech 🤦‍♂️ How tedious .

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 20/04/2020 15:59

No, it's just lazy inclusion by posters wanting to make a point. Tedious and wrong.

HopeYouGotTheLetter · 20/04/2020 16:01

Yes you're right. I definitely meant that literally every single person in this thread was doing that. Despite many quite obviously doing the exact opposite.

Jesus. Get a life.

Soontobe60 · 20/04/2020 19:40

@TabbyMumz

It is a view that is still widely held. I dont think tattoos look nice on women. I dont think they look nice on men either

I'm not sure that it is a widely held view. Where's your evidence?

Saying you don't like them in men or women is absolutely fine, but saying that anyone who has them is 'lower class' or all of the other insults you've stated absolutely isn't fine. If your DH turned up with a tattoo on his arm, would you leave him? If the doctor treating you for a serious medical condition had a tattoo would you tell them to go away and send someone who didn't have tattoos because you refuse to be treated by such a despicable person?
Your comments have gone too far, I'm afraid you're coming across as a really horrible person, hopefully you are much nicer in real life.

Chiyo666 · 20/04/2020 19:48

@Soontobe60 tabby is a well known dick head troll. Just ignore it.

TabbyMumz · 20/04/2020 19:51

Soontobe60....I think you've got a bit carried away with yourself there. I didnt say tattoo wearers were lower class. I said I thought less of them. I dont need evidence that the view is widely held. It just is. You only have to read this thread to see that.
My partner wouldnt turn up with one because he doesnt like them either.
And no, of course I would turn a doctor away from treating me, what a stupid idea. Still doesnt mean I like his tattoos or that I would magically change my mind.

Triggahippy · 20/04/2020 19:57

Some of these opinions are more outdated than my Nan’s. Lots of you pitying the husband.
I think I actually pity some of your spouses- so many of you seem very over invested, judgemental and uptight. What a barrel of laughs you must be Confused
Bet they can’t wait to get home!

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 20/04/2020 20:18

Class is how you treat people and from this thread all this namecalling shit shows is that those dishing out the abuse have no class at all. You could have more degrees than a thermometer and be the Grand High Poobah of the Sparkly Glam Queens but ass soon as you judge people on appearence not their actions all your CLASS is ASS.

PS. Ever heard a tattoed person judge a non-tattoed person on their lack of tattoos?

lmcneil003 · 20/04/2020 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 21:02

I explained that I thought they were quite awful, and that's why I didn't want one, but I was called a coward.....

What a load of absolute bull 💩! 😂 😂

Yeah of course you have!

Soontobe60 · 20/04/2020 21:13

@tabbymumz
Apologies, it was @Celerysam who made the 'lower class' comment.

hesgotit · 20/04/2020 21:23

I think your great for apologising to @Soontobe60 but @TabbyMumz is as a previous poster said a well known dick head troll!

She still thinks "less of people" because they have tattoos, which to me is equally as fucking stupid as saying they are lower class. So she says if they saved her child's life and then showed tattoos she would think less of them........ I mean really?

She also instantly thinks smokers are "stupid", they may be stupid to smoke, but they're not stupid people.

Leflic · 20/04/2020 21:33

Isn’t it the same as people hating Tory voters though? Just a mass generalisation about the NHS and hating the disabled etc.
Would you still accept the medical treatment from the medic who voted Tory or eat s meat if you are an avid vegan.

Tattoo’s are a fashion like anything else. You’re allowed to think what you like about them.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 20/04/2020 22:12

It still means that same sort of shit whe you judge people on no meaningful interaction.

Like being accused of being a prostitute since most of my friends happen to be male and I'm kinda fond of LAN parties/local muliplayer. I regretted asking him if he was jelous that he wasn't having hot gangbangs with his friends - but he was my landlord.

Soontobe60 · 20/04/2020 22:52

What's a LAN party???

I'm almost scared to ask🤷🏼‍♀️

Sonichu · 20/04/2020 23:54

Local Area Network party. Nothing to worry about, although it involves gaming which is another thing that makes you an pathetic loser on MN.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 21/04/2020 07:42

I've noticed a weird thing that people who smile and say how sad and a pathetic loser I am, strangely seem to look miserable a lot of the time, particularly when working. Odd that. Yet I don't. Even in the times when I was doing Shit Jobs (tm) or being unemployed...

Strange how things don't change.
Even on MN there seems to be that group of girls who look down on others for not being 'cool' or 'pretty'. If being cool means having the default expression of 'treading in dogshit' and never having interests or doing anything fun, ever except get drunk maybe theen you can keep it!
I once thought that there were three girls at school call Pfzzt because that's all they said to me whenever I said Hi.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 21/04/2020 08:12

LAN parties can be awesome - I remember Warcraft 3 and having a massive ruck 4 against 4. And Quake and Doom but modern FPS sometimes give me motion sickness. Mario Kart is a goodie - get to play with my boys.

Was a childhood fantasy to have all the consoles and play with my friends on a massive TV - and I do! So yay me!

But back to the thread - tattoos aren't for everyone because not everyone wants one - but please do your research. Check out the artists, research the healing process. Make sure your artist can draw a straight line!
I recall seeing a line portrait on a woman's back and I wasn't sure if it was a dog or a baby. I assumed dog but only from the ear placement.

lmcneil003 · 21/04/2020 08:16

So in summary:
The husband is a dick for being controlling
The wife knows the husband is unreasonable and irrational, but is will to wreck her marriage and see her children grow up fatherless to get a tattoo, which some poster think are fine and others think are downmarket.

Time to shut this thread I think. We're all done!

hesgotit · 21/04/2020 08:35

@lmcneil003 how are the children going to grow up fatherless? Is the OP going to kill him?

The father may choose to leave the marriage (his choice), the children will then see that he didn't truly love the mother and when he couldn't dictate to her threw his toys out of the plane and left his wife and children.

I'm sure the OP will sort custody, so they won't be fatherless!