Irritated, irritable and irritating. AIBU to be tolerant in RL and tell them to get fucked on this thread.

[fuckinghellthisshit]

IABU. Unreasonable and I know it.

I am just so fucking irritated at the moment. Everything is grinding my gears. DD's constant fucking exercising, DS leaving his shit everywhere, DH's following me around and just fucking breathing everywhere.
I am being a model of kindness and tolerance but I do wish every bastard one of them would fuck off.

And face timing my DGM97 every day at exactly 6pm to watch her slowly lose her shit (she's been in lockdown for 6 weeks already) and become unkempt is horrendous. Arguing with her for hours about politics (she lives for these debates and asks for robust challenging - good for her mh she says) is exhausting. I just want to lie down, I don't care what Mark fucking Steel is saying today - he can get fucked too.

My mean GD97 who has been living in isolation for 40 years and never wanted a visit or call but suddenly needs the warmth and kindness of his family - well the women in his family, and I am especially sought after as the busiest person. Fuck you mean old man, you are alone for a reason! you made your miserable lonely bed now lie in it!

My normally sane DM is in full lunatic mode, needing constant love and reassurance, leave me alone! I am your child! What about me! Why not rind one of my many bastarding twat brothers. And stop cooking for 12-18 people - there are only 2 of you there - that's why you're getting so fat - not stress hormones.

My tribe of idiot brothers who all refused to accept there was any problem and spouted full Trump rhetoric until my DGM's neighbour died and then had massive mantrums demanding I send them all food. Get fucked!
.
I love these people so very much. I also loved my small business and working, and being on my own a bit. I care so much, but I want a break and a vent. So here, in the safety of MN, I will tell them all to get fucked.

Thank you, I feel so much better now.

Teenagers here too, hormones everywhere. But they are being good, just here ALL the time. Secretly I'm liking it I think. They both sat next to me on the sofa in the kitchen earlier and squashed me, that was lovely of them!

But the constant facetiming of DH's fucking family, really will not stop. No, we don't want to eat another meal with you whilst we're eating ours. Because we're not having beetroot and fennel risotto we're having take away pizza tonight. Sorry, but we are. Because we can. Our local shop delivers pizzas on a Saturday night and for once, we're doing it too. We want to eat them on our laps and watch a film, not watch facetime. Ahhhhh

FFs. DPs dad has just phoned...on the landline if you please...asking me and I quote "do you think this chicken would be alright to cook? It looks a bit funny to me".....how the frlippity fluck would I know?? My "being-able-to-see-things-down-a-phone-line" powers are non-existent. If you didn't refuse to video call because "you never know who's watching" then I might have been able to help. Eat it,bin it, do a fucking tango with it..I CAN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!!

DH fucking breathing 😂😂 Excellent thread op. DH suddenly becoming an expert chef and overall kitchen know it all after showing zero interest in anything kitchen related before now. It's wonderful he's mucking in, although apparently there's a better way to do almost everything 🙄..... My Dd waking up in a strop every morning and taking it out on me. I know it's hormones but just once I'd like to start the day with a hug and a smile, the constant mental energy of checking up on everyone and the interruptions of dad's mates calling her on my phone constantly throughout the day without pre arrangement ( including after her bedtime ).....the 8 days wait to order paint to finish decorating ds's bedroom because I miscalculated and we now can't nip out to get any 😭.....my anxiety is through the roof, having to do deep breathing daily to calm myself......and stop drinking my 🍺 there's not much left and you drink anything....

I can't do my job from home and can't go into do it so therefore I don't have a job.

BUT, my family have given me a new job. I am 'HEAD OF FOOD AND ROUTINE'

This is my job description:

8am: wake everyone up
8.30am: wake everyone up
9am: wake DH up again so he can dial into his 1st mtg of the day so he doesn't get fires and we can afford to eat
9.30: Tell everyone to eat breakfast
10am: Tell everyone to eat breakfast
10.30am: Tell everyone to eat breakfast
11am: Clear away breakfast
11.30am: field 1st 'what's for lunch' enquiry
12am: start making lunch
Etc, etc, you get the gist, etc.......

I not only have to live my own dull, socially impaired, real jobless life, but I am seemingly having to live everyone else's too.

The only thing which is business as usual is that my Mother is unrelentingly irritating and selfish and somehow manages to maintain this despite the physical distance between us. She is the omnipresent God of pissing me off. Magic.

You rule OP.

It is my birthday today. Several people asking what I would like?

I would like a poop without an audience.

I would like, just once, to find things as I left them, but with 2 crazed animals and a lazy teen, I know this isn't reality.
I would like to not have to clean the toilet 4 times a day, or flush for others.
I would like to not find empty packets in the fridge, not wonder what liquid i just stepped in, not wonder which minion stuck babybel wrappers to the radiator filled with shampoo.
I would like it if the food delivery i finally managed to secure after 3 weeks later longer than a day the animals descending upon it like locusts.
I would like to know where the cutlery is.
I would like to know who hid in the beanbag and ran around the house.
I would mostly like to follow the advice on the Bold advert and stay away from children. I locked myself out the garden, they climbed out of the bathroom window.

Would i l like alcohol they ask? Why would I want to feel calm and relaxed, only to have it snatched away in the stark brutality of parenting.

No, I don't want to look at you standing on one leg, again. No, I don't want a cuddle whilst standing on a ladder dangerously leaning over to get the latest board game you have demanded down. No, it is not acceptable that you all have to empty your bowels when I am in the bath. No, I do not know WTF you are talking about when telling me about your latest warframe/overwatch character. No, I don't want to have a water fight, but if you force me I will pop the kettle on.

I cannot escape them. I tried to tell them that I have decided that I don't want kids, but they just laugh.

DH’s breathes through his nose and it squeaks. He claims he can’t hear the squeak and telling him to sniff makes me the bad guy. I watched a programme on ancient Egypt the other night and found myself genuine wondering if the part of mummification where you pull out someone’s brain through their nose would fix it?

DH normally works away all week. He just so FUCKING HERE ALL THE TIME.

Teen DD tells me she’s tired every day within the first 10 minutes she’s up. I’ve given up caring what she watches on Netflix any more. Shes wearing 17 outfits a day for 3 minutes each and expecting me to wash them all!

Tomorrow morning I’m getting up early specifically to eat the last remaining egg custard for breakfast before anyone else gets it. It’s my only happy thought right now.

@frumpety, last week I saw someone reading a book in the queue and thought what a brilliant idea. Sadly, I'd forgotten about it by this week's trip and forgot to take one with me. I'm too damn tired to read one at home.

And I hear you all about just wanting some time at home alone. I'm a sociable but extreme introvert, and I need a lot of solitude to get me through.

Rant away, you’ve got far more on your plate than me and my head is screaming “Leave me the fuck alone” at everyone...I’d love just an hour of privacy and silence.

Hi all, my DCs and DH are tbh being fine about all this, but doesn’t stop me wanting time alone so desperately. DD and DS are doing their school work, DS is going running and helping with hoovering etc, DD is looking after the guinea pigs and doing loads of cooking. DH is stressed and working far too long hours trying to keep a small business going. And me? My work is so stressful attempting to do stuff with appalling Wi-fi, more cooking and cleaning despite help from kids, and it’s just all so boring, plus the endless calling vulnerable relatives and trying to make sure they have what they need, endless looking for delivery slots for them, then they call moaning if the delivery has a few substitutes in it, I want a day to myself, I’d go swimming, and out for a coffee, buy a book, just mess about really....

I am sick of the way my husband eats, slurps coffee, and breathes. I am going to blow soon there is far too much testosterone in this house and I do not get a second on my own. Think we mostly all feel bloody claustrophobic and irate.

@AllTheUserNamesAreTaken - you can say it here - no judgement.

The Dfriend of mine can fuck off too, who said she’s very busy and happy with the lockdown

Yeah. Hear hear. This fucking lockdown is driving me insane - I wish they would all go away and leave me for 5 god damn minutes. Just fucking 5.

OP

Sorry if I missed how far your DGM is

If you can, I’d go and help her. Inhuman government shouldn’t be able to leave people struggling.

I hear you! xxxx

Can I join in?

DM, stop guilt tripping me every single day and acting like I invented this virus as way to avoid seeing you. Maybe appreciate that I've been calling you every day and stop constantly manipulating me. GRRRRR.

My 17 yr DD - you are amazing and haven't moaned once despite not being able to see your friends. Even doing extra shifts at your key worker job to make things easier for other staff who are having to isolate.

chickenyhead “ I would like a poop without an audience. ”

Curious about this....!

@LokiDoki75 you can silence WhatsApp and any other apps you don't need and just have your ringer on loud.

It’s not Covid 19, you are hungover...Again. I don’t need to step over the crescent of dirty plates and crisp packets to check your temperature you are hungover...Again. There seems to be a weird language filter between us, my “I will do it now”, means now, yours means that “I will do it now” as you fucking won’t do anything ever...because you are hungover. Get up, get dressed and WASH UP you shitter.

Loved this thread as you've just said everything I wanted to say for what has felt like a lifetime. Rant away 😬

So I have two kids with ASD, both have trouble attending school and I'm their carer and in a tiny village so my life is pretty 'small' anyway.
But...it's now 28 days since i left the village at all, so it just got smaller.

NO, i don't know when Schools will re-open and as you mostly refused (actually were unable) to go anyway why the FUCK does it matter???
NO, exH, if you want to speak to your kids, you phone THEM not me.
I dont (much) care about your issues, I'm not YOUR mother, or partner.

YES, kids, you do need to get up and dressed and eat and brush your teeth and go outside for a walk. If you dont want to do the Terms worth of School work sent home, dont sodding do it (I agree). If you do, I will help you get started, place milk and cookies in front of you, and generally be supportive. If you choose to ignore it, dont fucking bellyache about it (but I know its the stress of it being 'outstanding' :(

And tell me you are bored. I KNOW you are bored.
But, no, ds, that doesnt mean you can re-wire the internet on the outside of our (rental) cottage 'to see if it works' thus cutting it off and causing more misery. And no, dd, I cant draw a Dalek as well as you, especially when I'm trying to cook tea (again). And yes, we have had Easter, so please stop singing ALL the fucking Christmas carols now.

And YES I am 'bored' too. And scared and lonely, but I cant tell you that. And someone tell some TWAT in the Govt to sort out the free School meals vouchers please so they will actually download. And yes, it's okay that we dont stand outside banging pans on Thursdays if the noise frightens you.

And, yes, I know I'm being unreasonable :( I love them, they are my life.

@LilacTree1

They ALWAYS want something. If not a child at the door wanting the toilet at the exact point the action starts, or incessantly asking questions just out of earshot so you have to shout, it is the cat, wanting food or affection.

OP, this is possibly the BEST thread opener in MN history. You’re Bill Hicks in full Coronavirus rant mode. Have just read this out to DH and he salutes you, as do I!

I know that feeling exactly!
DH goes on about how hard it is for his Mum to be in lockdown whilst living alone - frankly I envy her!

Aaah. You just reminded me I forgot to call my mother today. I'll be in trouble. Better do that now.

@LokiDoki75 you can mute all but one number in WhatsApp if that helps