Irritated, irritable and irritating. AIBU to be tolerant in RL and tell them to get fucked on this thread.

[fuckinghellthisshit]

IABU. Unreasonable and I know it.

I am just so fucking irritated at the moment. Everything is grinding my gears. DD's constant fucking exercising, DS leaving his shit everywhere, DH's following me around and just fucking breathing everywhere.
I am being a model of kindness and tolerance but I do wish every bastard one of them would fuck off.

And face timing my DGM97 every day at exactly 6pm to watch her slowly lose her shit (she's been in lockdown for 6 weeks already) and become unkempt is horrendous. Arguing with her for hours about politics (she lives for these debates and asks for robust challenging - good for her mh she says) is exhausting. I just want to lie down, I don't care what Mark fucking Steel is saying today - he can get fucked too.

My mean GD97 who has been living in isolation for 40 years and never wanted a visit or call but suddenly needs the warmth and kindness of his family - well the women in his family, and I am especially sought after as the busiest person. Fuck you mean old man, you are alone for a reason! you made your miserable lonely bed now lie in it!

My normally sane DM is in full lunatic mode, needing constant love and reassurance, leave me alone! I am your child! What about me! Why not rind one of my many bastarding twat brothers. And stop cooking for 12-18 people - there are only 2 of you there - that's why you're getting so fat - not stress hormones.

My tribe of idiot brothers who all refused to accept there was any problem and spouted full Trump rhetoric until my DGM's neighbour died and then had massive mantrums demanding I send them all food. Get fucked!
.
I love these people so very much. I also loved my small business and working, and being on my own a bit. I care so much, but I want a break and a vent. So here, in the safety of MN, I will tell them all to get fucked.

Thank you, I feel so much better now.

Why is it my fucking responsibility to decide what DH and DS are going to have for tea?? Have a look in the fucking fridge and see what there is!! DH is doing the shopping (with a list from me) so knows what’s in there. I usually cook for them and do myself something different (medication affects my appetite so I rarely eat the same as them).

Just fuck off, DH I taught to cook when we moved in together and DS(13) is more than capable of doing something on toast.

Stop fucking mithering about twatting food!!!!!

I'VE HAD IT WITH FUCKING ZOOM!!!!
Zoom people, virtual reality people can FUCK RIGHT OFF.
9 1/2 hrs on that shitty app today. I feel ill. Fuck off fuck off fuck off,
9 1/2 hrs of Zoom for work and then I get off and 2 mins later it's facetiming grandma. FML.

I love my children, but I just need them to not climb on me or have to be in the same square metre as me for five fucking minutes. I've also started running. That's how desperate I am to get away from everyone.

Bad day for me today. I was just absolutely raging at everything. Every time my phone pinged I told it to FUCK OFF. I had imaginary arguments with people. My children talk so damn much. I just want everyone to fucking shut up and go away. I keep staying up late, just so I can enjoy being alone and the quiet. Plus I'm so sick of tossers who can't grasp the concept of stay at home. God, people irritate the shit out of me!

Oh god yes, great thread. I'm being dragged into DH's family drama with messages from all and sundry about MIL - who lives in another fucking country so there's literally NOTHING I can do to help. Trying to homeschool a 6 yr old DD and keep teen DD in an even keel while working from home. Husband doing SHOUTY conference calls WHILE STOMPING ALL ABOUT THE FUCKING HOUSE SO NOONE ELSE CAN USE THE COMMON SPACE JUST GO INTO ONE OF THE 3 SPARE ROOMS YOU THUNDERCUUUUUNT.

Oh. I didn't expect to get so shouty.

That feels better.

Reporting in for duty!

My idiot cousin decided that despite being totally medically unqualified, he has had corona, therefore is safe to go to my dm’s (81) house for a lovely social. If she tells me one more time about dear so-and-so coming round for a fucking social in her kitchen, I will scream! Not helped by his dad shit stirring by telling my dm that actually, I could go up there to ‘look after her’ although she has 2 of my cousins entertaining/shopping for her and her dsis & dbil going round almost daily to ‘look after her”.

She is perfectly capable of looking after herself, healthy, got all her marbles, regularly walks down to the Co-op for supplies, despite cousin 2 doing shopping for her. Oh, and I live 5 hours away and wfh, where she has no computer/screens at her house. FML!

I am fucking sick of myself, because I am massively procrastinating when I need to be revising for uni exams and I have 2 bits of coursework due in. I want to look at SOMETHING that isn't Julius fucking Caesar and his cocksucking conquest of growlerhuffing gaul. I want to be able to do my Latin in peace, without my nextdoor neighbours and their shitty kids screaming in the garden frae morning sun till dine, and that dog in one of the gardens over the back can go and fuck itself transparent with no lube and a cactus. My mate who almost never wanted to talk before but is now texting me all the motherfucking time "are you free to talk?" and my other mate who keeps giving me helpful suggestions like "get up earlier and you'll have enough time to get this piece of coursework done", get to fuck, my brain has fucking ceased to function, I'm depressed as fuck, probably gaining weight but not wanting to measure too closely because that is a WHOLE can of worms that I do not want to open, stressed up to my tits and tired. So no, no I cannot wake up at 6am to do this coursework and yes I AM going to have to pull an all nighter and my biggest stress relief right now is running, but I can't do that because my fucking bastard of a sports captain pushed me to train on an injured hip and when it's not too painful for me to run, I HAVR FUCKING WORK TO DO!
And breathe...

Oh! And my cunting water bottle that is ALWAYS on the wrong side of my room when I want it.

Anyone got under patio space??

Yet again today. I made breakfast (a nice one too, lots of veggies, tofu, seasoning, took a while to prepare). Cook doesn't clear up in our house, as I said before. Returned to kitchen later (which btw I've been working really hard to keep nice and clean for everyone as part of earning our keep at the hostel [we're stuck abroad] - thoroughly washing down and santinizing all surfaces each day, mopping and sweeping kitchen and living space - takes about an hour and a half each day). Half used vegetables still out, spice jars, dirty things still on the side. Surfaces with flecks of food on.

Me; DP you said you cleared up?
DP; I did, the pan is still soaking
Me; what about the dirty chopping board etc and all the things still out?
DP; I thought they were left out for a reason. If you want things put away as well as washed up you need to be more clear.

CLEARING UP INVOLVES RETURNING KITCHEN TO PRE-COOKING STATE NOT RINSING TWO PLATES UNDER THE TAP AND EATING MY SPECIAL VEGAN BISCUITS....HE CAN HAVE ANY FUCKING BISCUITS IN THE WHOLE FUCKING SUPERMARKET FUCKMYLIFEFUCKMYLIFEFUCKMYLIFE.

I'm hiding the cocking biscuits.

I don't understand this inability to wash up after someone else has cooked for you. I'm looking at YOU MIL.

I don't actually mind cooking for everyone as I'm on furlough but DH has been working all day and MIL is retired. "Oh, can I do anything?" Yes, take your sodding turn washing up the pans!

She's cooking today as I have a Governors' meeting. I plan on doing no washing up whatsoever.

Love this thread, I have nothing to add, but I want to nominate this thread for classics. Future generations might need a therapy session like this has been for so many lovelies. 🍷🌹 to all who are living with twunts, cock wombles or any expletive that might spring to mind.
@MNHQ classics please

A few tips for mums who want to irritate your teenagers right back is to refer to 'me-mes' rather than memes. Gets them all stressed out

I also find referring to the Wi-Fi as the 'whiffy' has a similar desired affect....

Mp 'd'ps eye clicks when he blinks. Lay next to him in bed and "click, click, click"
"Your eyes clicking again"...
looks at me, blinks "click"
"oh its ok it doesn't bother me" "click, click, click"...

Constant calls to workmates discussing the ins and outs of fucking furlough.I love you dh but if you put them on loudspeaker so I have to hear both sides of the fucking boring conversations one more time I'll stove your head in!!! Aaaaaah that felt good.

AAAAGGGHHHH if whatsapp pings at me one more fucking time ima launch my phone at the sodding cat who is currently in full on tear arse round the house at the speed of light making a sound like a herd of elephants stampeding mode. No I don't want to be woken up at 6am just because one of you twunting fuckers is up and bored, I don't care about seeing your fucking camping at home or bbq pictures because you have huge gardens where as im stuck in a flat with 6 bastard annoying fucks - two who aren't even my damn kids (boyfriends). Family conference quiz fucking night, get fucked an stick it up your arse cos im gaming with my friends in the evening - people i actually want to spend time with cos they are kind, considerate and cheer me up whilst we run about shooting people in the head. Hubby doesnt want to join either because he's fucking deaf and he can't lip read other people in the households talking when they are not on the damn screen. Also why do I have to remind you that your own son/brother can't bloody well hear you - did it not sink in at any point in the last 40 years huh, oh thats pissing right you have selective memory and only remember when your virtue signalling. My Smol People don't want to quiz with you condescending uncultured swines either as they have a fuck ton of university/collage assignments to get done, give them a break and stop guilt tripping them that any one of you could die and how would they feel then - shit thing to do to your grandkids/nieces. Note to self BREATH BEFORE YOU BLOODY SUFFOCATE FROM ANGRY RANTERY.
An another thing, the thing of telling people we have done x,y,z now that we are home all day - yeah but you didn't fucking tidy up and put shit away after did you, you scruffy cockwombles. Well so what i do this every fucking day while you work/are in education, I also tidy the fuck up when im finished and have done for the past 25 years. I don't need a damn running commentary, carry on and i'll start giving you a blow by blow account every time i take a shit. What do you fucking want from me while your oh so happy with yourself for adulting, a chufty bade? Well get to fuck cos it's mine, i fucking earned it by tolerating you fucks.
In my next installment of Quaranting expect more swearing about floofy fuckers and family.

Omg this post is hilarious

CleansUpPenguinPoo... thankyou for your kind words. Unfortunately it just seems to get worse by the day.... people are shopping...but there are loads just browsing....bloody browsing and making a mess. Throwing stuff all over. I work in a shop where we have clothing as well as normal shopping...the clothing department is trashed. It's like a bloody jumble sale. Some of the day I have to close it off just to tidy that area.
Police came last Saturday and checked people out for just browsing the clothes... saying is it a necessity?.. no then get out..... although the copper did buy sunglasses lol.

It's tough.. with hours cut and running a shop as busy as Christmas with 2 staff and a manager. Trying to police the 2 metre distance and keep an eye on theft is unreasonable.... we have been ripped off tremendously.

The perf with surf advert really really needs to fuck off. It gives me the absolute rage every time its on the telly. Whoever thought that was a jazzy advert is a fud and equally whoever passed it is also a massive fud

Minnie mountain he screams, squeals and shouts

I couldn't agree more, about the Perf with Surf ad, @macaroniandpizza. Did they really want to advertise their product as being perfect for people whose one brain cell is getting lonely in there?

Cooking can fuck off in this house. I have got to make seafood laksa tonight, which will involve chopping a metric fuckton of vegetables and making my own red thai curry paste, and cutting up the salmon that will go into it at the last moment tonight, with the other seafood (which I bet dh has not remembered to get out of the fucking freezer).

I have very little get up and go at the best of times, and at the moment, thanks to lockdown making my depression worse, which in turn worsens my insomnia, I have absolutely no get up and go - it has got up and fucked off. So, unless I go and cook now, and get it all ready, up to the point where I would add the seafood, beansprouts and rice noodles, it just won't happen. I'd get to tonight and think fuck it, I don't want to cook, and poor dh would have to magic up a meal from nowhere.

But I really, really don't want to go and start searching through the fridge and freezer for all the ingredients, and doing all the bastard chopping and puree-ing and cooking. All I want to do is to curl up in the corner of the couch and watch trashy TV, whilst eating my own bodyweight in anything I can get my hands on.

And now School have contacted me to say that they'd like to see pics of my two Autistic children dressed in their school uniforms 'clapping for carers' or 'other proof that that are doing their bit'.

They ARE 'doing their bit' by following Govt guidelines. We don't need to 'prove' it. Grrr.

@3littlemonkeys82

Have you tried a pillow eye-mask on his face to stop the clicking?

My fucking idiot of a DSis seems to think that despite everyone in the country needing to self isolate, it’s ok for to nip round to our DM’s because she’s ‘bored of this now’ and it would be hugely selfish of DM not to let her. I also found out last night that DM has been leaving her a meal on the doorstep every single night. DSis is TWENTY FUCKING THREE AND LIVES WITH OUR DAD. But DSis ‘doesn’t like’ his cooking. She’s also been furloughed from her very very well paid job whilst DM has lost her entire wage (she’s a cleaner) yet has offered zero reimbursement for the many many meals. How do I know all of this, you ask? Because of the 90 million FaceTime calls a day I am fielding from DM due to the unreasonableness of it all.

@Pennycrown and @RoxytheRexy Thank you for what you're doing. You both deserve to be paid more. You are appreciated, especially by people like me who would struggle if more shops shut. I always thank the people on the till when I go to get my food, it sounds like a thankless bloody job and I'd like to come and punch the people who moan at you.

I live on my own, thank god, and I really feel for all of you locked down with families and unable to get some space and time for yourselves. My rage is directed at the irksome twats on the telly speculating pointlessly and trying to stir things up and create more fear and pointless speculation. We know things are bad. We know! Keep having to turn telly off before I lob a brick through it.
Sympathy and hugs to you all (or gin if preferred) this is a brilliant thread
and necessary for the mental health/prevention of maiming or murdering each other.

And now School have contacted me to say that they'd like to see pics of my two Autistic children dressed in their school uniforms 'clapping for carers' or 'other proof that that are doing their bit'.

They ARE 'doing their bit' by following Govt guidelines. We don't need to 'prove' it. Grrr.

Then tell them. It needs saying.

In fact, for many of you on this thread, you don't have to go nuclear, but sometimes saying something to people does help.