To continue driving?

[Gretasmyname]

Please be brutal
I posted a while back about my anxiety about driving.
Basically new ish,mature driver. Didn't drive straight after passing
Then bought a car
Too scared to drive
Manoeveres a big weakness
That's it in a nutshell.
Just before the corona lockdown I was gaining a bit of confidence. Driving to the supermarket and parking in a quiet and empty spot.
Short,familiar routes.
Then came lock down and whilst I'm generally happy to use public transport I thought maybe I should reduce my risk and minimise the time travelling by using the car I have.
So roads a joy to travel on.
I even went to work which is normally a very busy route.
Parking still a major anxiety but I parked away from busy parts.
Supermarket carparks were much busier but still i parked okay.
I've still been very anxious about being in a situation where I'm forced to reverse or do a manoeveres as this is when I panic.
So basically I've been avoiding any potential situations.
Then today I went to do a big shop. Supermarket car park rammed.
I should have turned round but I parked and then panicked when I realised I'd have to reverse out .
I dont mind if lots of space but cars either side and a row behind me.
No issue for any normal person,but i was panicking already.
Anyway to my shame I had to call DH to move it.
It's now made me think where do I go from here.
I was getting to a stage to gettng reasonably confident but i could do with parking practice.
It's not the right time to go out for random drives though is it.
Also I've got work Monday which i was planning to drive to. After today's debarcle though I'm worried my normal parking place might not be available and i will panic or get in a situation that DH can't help with.
I know I sound stupid but am I wrong in carrying on atm?

Can’t your husband take you out on lesson? You shouldn’t be on the road if you can’t drive your car. It’s dangerous.

How many days do you work? Isn’t that enough practice driving and parking? I would not go out more at the moment.

Op, I've been driving for 23 years and nothing phases me but even sometimes I find busy supermarket carparks a nightmare. Cut yourself some slack, it takes a while to become confident behind the wheel, hang in there and don't rush things.

Wait until the lockdown is over then get lessons until you are confident.

I'm defintely not having more lessons.
I'm confident driving.live in a big city.
Drive in dual carriageway and use big roundabouts etc.
It's the parking fear.
Driving to work is great practice but I really need quiet car park practice which I can't do atm.
Driving to work I can't practice that. Car park at work is busy and no where to park as it is so I park outside of there.

Have you got confidence issues on the road or just parking? You wouldn't have passed your test if you couldn't drive safely at the time of the test. Unless there is a safety issue now on the roads or danger to yourself/other road users, I would carry on driving.

Most people find parking difficult at first. I once had a similar situation as you in a supermarket car park shortly after passing my test and sat in the space for about 30 minutes moving the car in and out trying to get the right angle to reverse out!

You might have a couple of anxious situations but unless you carry on you won't improve and the anxiety will still be there. Perhaps your DH could take you out when the car parks are busy to practice tight spaces? If you're still not confident, you could get a refresher lesson after the lockdown ends?

Driving is a skill so practice makes perfect. Whatever you decide to do, don't give up totally! You'll kick yourself.

Good luck!

You don't sound stupid and it is very brave of you to be so honest. Have you tried to understand what is underneath your fear of parking? I'm not sure where you live but I can fully appreciate that some areas are definitely much more aggressive than others. I would take a deep breath and remind yourself that you were getting to a place where you felt more confident before and you can do so again. Take small steps and build it up gradually and slowly. You have passed your test so there is no reason at all to doubt your ability. Good Luck!

I have the exact same issue with parking and have scratched my car about five times when trying to park (on bollards not peoples cars). I four years in now and I’m still terrible at parking. You just need to know your limits and park in spaces which are not locked in by cars or other barriers on either side.

I’m sure you should not be driving!

I remember your other post, you were told to take extra lessons to learn how to park.

I hope we never meet on the road, you sound a liability!

I remember you! Keep going, definitely don’t give up now

Once this is over you'll still be able to find extremely quiet places to practice in the evening. Maybe industrial estates or go to a supermarket that shuts at 8pm (usually much earlier on a Sunday).

I'm allowed to move the 37ft trucks in our yard at work as you don't need a HGV license on private property and they often need reparked for deliveries at times when there's no other management or drivers available. I was given some training, supervised at first, and am now trusted.

Best tip I learnt was GOAL (get out and look) if you're unsure. And don't get pressured by other people, which is undoubtedly the hardest bit. The lads in the yard used to love recording me on their phones from the smoking area, presumably hoping I'd have a ding. They've given up now and in a hilarious twist of fate the worst offender now has the nickname 'Mr Bump' as he's had three forklift bumps so far this year. 🤭

When parallel parking I always angle the nearside electric mirror to the kerb to line it up. The alloys on my car are apparently £600 a corner to replace so this meant that quickly learnt to park well after the first scrape (diamond cut alloys can only be repaired a couple of times).

It's almost impossible to hit another car if you reverse really slowly and GOAL when unsure how close you are.

The only answer is practice, practice, practice. It is the only way you are going to improve.

It sounds as though you need more lessons. It really isn't safe to be driving alone if you are so unconfident. Sorry. Can you book some more concentrating on your weak areas?

I'm sorry but I feel quite strongly about this. If you cannot cope with all the demands of driving and basic manoeuvres then you should not be driving anywhere. There is a minimum standard which needs to be met and maintained at all times to keep everybody safe. You can not guarantee the safety of others and therefore you should not be getting into your car to drive anywhere alone. Driving is a potentially lethal privilege and this should be taken seriously.

If you live on quiet road could you practise maneuvers outside the house?

I'm utterly crap at reverse parking. Dont really like reversing (incase I hit something) but will do it. Iv been driving for 20 odd years. I'm totally confident driving about, motorways etc. Parking etc still makes me a bit anxious. I go slow, take my time and dont park anywhere too tight. Practise, practise, practise

Learn to reverse in, it took DH a while to convince me of this but he's actually right (don't tell him I said that), reversing out when there are people, other cars etc is more dangerous than reversing into a parking space that contains nothing, also the back of a car is usually flatter than the front which makes the angles easier.

Also buy a tiny tiny car, like a smart car, no space is ever tight then

That's great tip from another poster about using your electric mirrors - I always angle them to see where I'm.parking

When I first passed my test I was terrified of parking - I got really nervous and panicked, which inevitably ended up in me getting it totally wrong

The only thing to do is to practise, practise, practise. I passed over two years ago now and I'm much more confident and no longer panic about not being able to park in my usual spot!

Honestly, you'll be fine. Being nervous is totally normal

OK don't give up! Relax a little, when you aren't sure just stop, if you need to get out and have a look, roll out another couple of inches and get out and look again. If you do this you will eventually get out of any position. I'd generally suggest reversing in using this procedure - then it's an easy out!

@DontStandSoCloseToMe the only trouble with reversing in in a supermarket is the lack of access to the boot. Don't you find it annoying carrying every round to the back of the car? Especially these days when the spaces seem so narrow it can be difficult to open a car door let alone walk up and down alongside.

Practice practice practice!

You will never ever get any better if you avoid parking.

Lessons are the best way forward. And due to covid-19 it will have to be someone in your household that teaches you. DH would be perfect.

I found it helpful to get out and physically look at how much space was behind me. Until I got better at working it out myself. Who cares if you reverse out and start to turn the wheel and do the back forward back forward thing six inches at a time until you get the hang of it.

Good luck.

@longearedbat our local supermarket has quite a few spaces with the paved walkways in between the rows so you reverse up to the walkway, it actually makes it easier you don't need to navigate a trolley amongst the cars

My first car was a very long estate and I managed to avoid parallel parking for two years! My next car was much smaller and I paid for one lesson to learn to park. Now my attitude is I'm a grown woman: of course I can do this.

You will get there. Don't give up. Go to an empty parking lot and practice practice practice .
If there are cars either side of you in a bay, just reverse in a straight line a smidge before turning. Have you got proximity sensors on your car? I can't live without mine as my parking is horrendous!