Plated meals or family-style?

[JungleGiraffe]

I grew up with meals being plated in the kitchen by whoever cooked and then brought out to the table. DH grew up in the Netherlands and always did "family-style" where serving dishes are brought out to the table and everyone helps themselves.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty. & it wastes time because you need to carry more to the dining room and back (sometimes when we have breakfast at the in-laws there'll be 30 different things on the table!)

If we eat in the kitchen I plate up as there isn't enough space for extra dishes on the kitchen table. On special occasions we eat at the dining table and in that case I take the serving dishes in with me as the table is bigger.

@OneandTwenty I so agree.

Dp once got food poisoning from a fatty/rich dish with loads of parmesan, and now cannot stomach it at all.

One day we went to friends for dinner.... plated meal, a big fatty lamb shank on a quivering mound of parmesan risotto, the smell of it wafting around the room enough to make you turn green even if you like parmesan.

An absolute horror. Plated meals for company are really the sign of someone trying to be cheffy while forgetting that their guests haven't ordered off a menu. Actually really rude in practice, although the intention is typically good.

I think research shows that serving yourself leads to better portion control in children (Im sure I read that somewhere)

I am so shocked at the number of people who regularly do family style! Only because of the washing up aspect...

I do family style if it’s something like fajitas or a roast dinner, but curries, spaghetti bolognese etc I’d most definitely plate up.

I think there are factors behind. If you're the sort who does family style you maybe are the sort who believes it's shameful to not have enough food for your guests and assumes there will be leftovers.

If you plate up like MIL it could be because you've had it drummed into not to waste food. MIL also perfectly calculates exactly how much roast dinner to cook for everyone without anything leftover, it's impressive to be fair.

it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty
that describes "plated meals", not family style...

Depends on the size of the portion. Some people will overeat because they will keep going until their plate it clear, others ((probably thinner people) will be happy to leave what they don't have room for on their plate.

Whereas with self serving portions, some people will take a modest amount and be satisifed with it, while others will keep going back for more and not recognise (or ignore) the signals of fullness.

So there is no one answer. Some people get full (and feel it) quickly. Others don't.

From the same school of thought as people who are always 'popping' things in the oven and 'popping' to the shops and 'popping' things in the post.

I'm a popper outer. I think I use it to denote I'm not going out out, but a quick there and back trip. I never pop things in the oven though

I put food in serving dishes. I don't like being served a plate of food by someone else. It puts me under pressure to eat that amount of that food.

DH and I didn't even make it from kitchen with the food more than once😂 Chatted with drinks while it was finishing and then tasted if it's done. Then tasted some more... We just ended up stuffing our faces while standing there. So we put the plates and stuff back into cupboards. Basically just used 1 tray and cutlery😂

Well - I've learnt something today - I have never heard of either of these expressions 'plate up' or 'family style'! In my family, I either 'served' them or they 'helped themselves'!

I cook the same amount regardless of how i serve it and the same amount is used. With playing you might give one person more than they fancy and another less. It usually balances out

I have never heard the term ‘family style’ but turns out this is what I was brought up with!

I really dislike having food plated for me, it reminds me of canteen food.

I also think if children are brought up to serve themselves they learn about sensible portion size and also learn to be considerate when taking food so as not to leave too little for the other diners. I certainly remember being guided in the right direction if for example i tried to take too much/tried to dodge veg etc.

I still don't understand how family style automatically creates more washing up and plates?
The example above of curry and rice, how can that create more or less pots regardless of how its served? Curry is cooked in one pot, rice in another. When cooked both pots go straight onto table in the pots they are cooked in (on heat proof mats). Its the same as whether you dished up onto a plate for everyone or let everyone take own serving from same dishes.

Surely if you're doing family style in the house for the people who live with you, you know how much they normally eat?

So it makes no difference whether you put it on plates or on the table - how much people eat doesn't depend on whether they're taking it themselves or not? So just make the same amount.

As someone else said, leftovers are SO much easier family style because they are actually useable as they are still in the dish! And much less wastage on plates as people take what they are hungry for.

'Family syle' is quite an American term. I think it just means home style as opposed to (plated) restaurant style.

I prefer plating, but I don't see how there can be food waste with family style. Just plate it up/tupperware it for leftovers, no?

I don’t understand why people’s are being so snobby or snarky about the terminology being used; it’s standard in mass catering or banqueting to describe service as plated, family style, buffet or silver service to denote how meals will be distributed. I’m not quite sure how a service term can possibly make people feel sick .

I always find it really weird on these types of threads that parents and parents-in-law are either treated as guests or people feel like they can’t open their mouths and ask for what they want to eat in their houses. If my MIL under fed us, I wouldn’t just sit their passively nibbling on one carrot circle, I’d ask for more food. It’s the same with the people who are “scared” that someone will take too much if they do family style dinners; surely you just say “oi, that’s got to feed all of us”.

I am so shocked at the number of people who regularly do family style! Only because of the washing up aspect... What are you talking about? You serve out of the receptacles in which you cooked the item, or in the case of a roast, from the board/plate on which you carved the meat.

You're not hauling the soup tureen out ffs. That's for folk who have staff to do the washing up

I cook the same amount regardless of how i serve it and the same amount is used. With playing you might give one person more than they fancy and another less. It usually balances out

Family style here. We do control that with DS2 who is still at vegetable dodging stage (he’s 4). Leftovers are either frozen or become lunch/stock. I’m amazed that people’s appetites are so consistent. My own varies but the DSs can sometimes out eat me and sometimes eat like sparrows. I’d get it wrong every time if I plated up for them. I’d rather they started small and had more as they wish it (avoiding ‘eyes bigger than my tummy’).

If it’s just me and DH then I will plate and we’ll eat in front of the TV. But I’ll ask him how hungry he is.

I still don't understand how family style automatically creates more washing up and plates?

Again, it totally depends. If I made a lasagne I would put it on the table in the same dish it was cooked in, and then there would be a bowl of salad that hadn't been cooked anyway. If I'd made a roast it would be necessary to decant most things into seperate serving dishes, gravy boats etc., or the table would be full of greasy roasting trays and saucepans.

I hate being plated up for. I want to decide how much I want of each item, not someone else to decide for me.

If it's a casual meal in front of the TV, then we might each plate up straight from the pans in the kitchen, but if eating at the table then it goes in bowls.

I think there's MORE waste if you plate up, because some people get given more than they want, and it ends up in the bin. From a bowl people take what they can manage, and anything left over can be used next day.

I think people who like plating up are the ones who do the plating. Because they get to control what's on their plate. The people they plate up for don't get that choice.

@shinynewapple2020 No, not the only one! We eat some meals at the table and some on the sofa, but whoever does the cooking puts the food on the plates!

I’m interested by the number of people saying that giving children the chance to plate their own meals makes them less likely to overeat, my experience of self serve meals at the school I work at and of children at buffets has proved the opposite! Maybe it’s because it’s a novelty though?

@AnnUumellemahaye it isn’t an American term. It’s been used in catering for at least the 30 years since I started in the industry.