Plated meals or family-style?

[JungleGiraffe]

I grew up with meals being plated in the kitchen by whoever cooked and then brought out to the table. DH grew up in the Netherlands and always did "family-style" where serving dishes are brought out to the table and everyone helps themselves.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty. & it wastes time because you need to carry more to the dining room and back (sometimes when we have breakfast at the in-laws there'll be 30 different things on the table!)

I have quite literally never heard the phrase “family style” before, but it’s what we do. Baffled at the idea there’s more food waste, and it’s messy etc. Weird...

my mum always said plating up/serving at the table was a class thing...surprisingly no one else appears to have mentioned it...🧐

@Covert20 I was just coming on to say it's a class thing. Plating up is v working class. My ex MIL used to plate up everyone's food and I couldn't stand it. I'm definitely more into more communal/friendly eating where we pass bits around and choose our sides. If it's just me and the kids I would plate up maybe pasta or stir fry but otherwise we do the much more middle class family style.

@Covert20 I think it was covertly hinted in the comments about it being an uncomfortable phrase...

Thought I was going mad no one else had mentioned it SuperMumTum

My reading comprehension is obviously poor tonight Chestnut23 I’ll blame the lockdown 🤦🏻‍♀️

I give the children what they like so there is no waste...

It might be a class thing here, but it isn’t in Denmark where I grew up. Nor would I imagine it’s that clear cut in Germany either.

People are so self-conscious and painfully aspirational here in the U.K. I find that hilarious too.

Ninknink it might not be a class here either seeing as no one else said it! 😂

Ex MIL even used to pour gravy on our plated up roasts. You weren't allowed to do anything yourself or request a variation. So frustrating.

I like family style here, but with two dc it’s sort of a mixture - served at the table, but I do then put the food on their places, but give them a say in how much. With dc 11 I often say “help yourself to x” but not with dc 6.

My parents tend to “plate up” food - although these days my Mum will put vegetables on the table for everyone to eat. My Dad prefers it that way because he doesn’t like the whole etiquette of asking for things passed / looking greedy etc, but he does have some odd issues!

My ex ILs took it even further and had the food laid out as a buffet in another room and you helped yourself before going in to the dining room.

@SuperMumTum mine does this 😫 And she’ll lick her fingers and stuff serving it onto plates... and if you try and pop in to the kitchen to give her a hand and quietly request no cabbage or no parsnips this week, or no mash for dd, she won’t eat it, she doesn’t listen and puts it on anyway. Not even salt and pepper on the bleedin table to help yourself to!

@bridgetreilly it does seem to make it such a faff though also puts more polite or introverted people such as myself at a disadvantage as they can feel self concious about taking the last portion or end up with less then some other that took more. I really struggle with that part if it is family style especially if out for a massive chinese meal with a big group. My mum tried to make sure I had my own portion that was just mine when she ordered some dinsum for example but I always felt like I ought to ask if someone wanted some too and would then end up with only 1 or two dumplings while everyone else had 4 etc

Never heard of ‘family style’ and always plate up. It infuriates me when watching US films during meal scenes and they spend so flippin long passing bowls of this and that, it must get cold even in real life.

If we have guests I always ask before serving if everyone likes all the veg etc. So nobody gets food they don’t like.

It’s also been proven that if food is set out on a table to help yourself, you eat more. I always find I do, too tempting and no I’m not overweight and don’t have an eating disorder.

@SuperMumTum hilarious snobbery.

I think it’s really strange to dish out a meal on a plate to anyone but especially guests. We would never do this.

Is it a class thing? Probably.

Where’s the evidence that you eat more when it’s set in front of you?

I’d never heard of a plated meal before this thread but ‘family style’ as always been the norm for us whether it’s just us, with extended family or with guests. I don’t think anyone over eats.

How do you cope in a restaurant I wonder.

I'm not sure it's a class thing I've a sneaking suspicion it might be a we own a dishwasher thing :) I'm pretty sure if I was washing lots of extra dishes by hand I'd be doing a lot more one pot cooking and plating up. I also think I bake more with the kids as you can just whack it in the dishwasher!

It was an experiment by a uk university.

I've never heard the terms before but I think we do a combination depending on the dish. We've mostly done 'family style' and done it since the DCs were tiny. I think it's good for kids to be able to regulate the amount they put on their plates. Is it perhaps generational? My older family members always seem to do the plating thing when we go there.

Never heard of a plated meal?

Have you just landed?

Why would I have heard of the term ‘plated meal’ when it’s not something I’ve had. It made me think it was a hospital meal.