I worry the joy has gone out of life and won't fully return

[MyriamVB]

Firstly a disclaimer. I realise that many many people, including those in the frontline NHS staff, those who lived through and died in the 2 world wars and conflicts since, have and had it far harder. I also realise that the current restrictions are necessary to protect the NHS and save lives. I realise that there were many suffering people in the world and there will continue to be after this.

Obviously very very few people are enjoying life hugely at the minute. I do worry though that amongst all the solitude, strain on relationships, lack of socialising, boredom and listlessness together with the new authoritarian atmosphere around movements, the whole "I saw someone sit on a bench it's a disgrace" thing plus the psychological impact of necessary social distancing that the joy of life won't come back, not properly. It seems all around me people in necessary lockdown are beginning to be significantly affected by it. Even on here, every second thread seems to have descended into name calling and vociferous disagreement and "you're being ridiculous". Is this it now?

hear hear hear! It’s idiotic to say we’re all in the same boat.

That CHRR poster is prob one of those who stockpiled weed before the lockdown.

I am always happy in my own company.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras
and how do you know what situation I happen to be?

it's not genuine concerns we are objecting to anyway, if you read the thread, it's only about ridiculous hysterics. And the refusal to change your routine if it means giving you more freedom...

I think things will defo bounce back and people will appreciate the things they took for granted - god knows I'd have loved to meet my friends for a glass of wine when the whether was good or just to have a good walk round town.

It'll be like party central when things fully reopen. The pubs will be heaving (although possibly not with mumsnet posters).

Current when the pubs are allowed to be heaving, the riots will be too. I hope....

I think they’ve created sufficient fear that the pubs won’t be heaving actually.

You hope there are riots? Seriously?

I think so, yes. I’ve never rioted. Maybe I mean protests. But they’re likely to become riots.

I remember a poster saying they wanted Brexit riots when people realised brown people like me would still be here. If they can say that on MN 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why would there be riots?

Why would any normal person riot?

I’m sure that once this is over most people will get back to normal.

As a new graduate I’m so worried about finding a job/ career.

I was already worried about finding a job before Covid, as I knew of many people who struggled to find work (outgoing people who went to better unis, had experience etc) plus my CV is so empty. Really feel the odds are against me

I can forsee riots in the summer where I live. But there are riots most summers where I live, so it won't be all that out of the ordinary. Maybe just a different reason to riot...

I can't imagine riots in the rest of the UK though.

There is still joy out there, its just not where you once found it.

This time in our lives will allow many to reassess how they have been living and open their eyes to an new way. It will make them realise how materialistic their lives have been, how much money they have been spending when they haven't needed to, stuff they thought they couldn't live with out which they thought was essential but actually they have coped, they can live without it and it wasn't essential at all.

The isolation will allow people to appreciate the relationships and friendships that matter to them and make them work harder at keeping them going. They will also realise the time wasted on those who maybe aren't real friends or have been toxic in their lives.

For those in financial hardship now, they will hopefully find new resilience, true friends, good community networks and charities they never knew existed. They will hopefully draw strength from others going through the same thing.

Those on the front line will be respected much more all of them from NHS workers, care workers, food retailers, delivery drivers etc. We will all see core/key workers in a new light and hopefully for those on the minimum wage the respect will go up just as high as the Drs and Nurses. These staff will look back on this time and realise that despite the strain and stress, how well they've done.

I could go on and on and on about looking at the joy and positive things to come out of all this.

The people I worry about are those who panic bought, those who seem hell bent on monitoring others interpretation of lockdown rules and shaming them, those not following them, those who are very anxious about the virus they are driving themselves slowly mad and actually making themselves ill with stress over it. Those people will struggle terribly.

There is so much we can all get out of this if we keep calm, follow the guidelines as much as we can, being sensible and realistic. Trying to leave the worry about the big stuff to the government and rather slating them for what we think should or shouldnt be happening just trust that they are doing the best they can as is most people and to just ride it through with an open mind.

@assburgers1 have you looked at online volunteering/support? Depends obviously on your degree but lots have now moved online so you could fill your CV a bit. You can find opportunities here too www.onlinevolunteering.org/en. Control the situation as much as you can. You can't do anything about certain things, you can about other ones. Concentrate on the other ones.

@assburgers1

Your best bet at the moment is supermarkets.

I think so, yes. I’ve never rioted. Maybe I mean protests. But they’re likely to become riots.
I was stuck in the London riots, be careful what you wish for.

One - most of us were!

Hearhoovesthinkzebras but the OP isn't living in a hostel. The OP is living in her normal house, with a few life adjustments. She's not facing abject poverty and isn't in an abusive relationship. Of course most people in terrible circumstances are going find this shit, and this situation has caused some terrible circumstances for others but the OP doesn't seem to be one of those.

I actually thing that at the moment (on good days especially) I am become a lot more aware and grateful for the small things in life that where previously taken for granted.

Yes it’s shit but in the grand scheme of things it’s not that shit for us luckily (and that’s with a Ds who is shielding)

One - most of us were!
I am not surprised, but I fail to see how the sight of buildings set on fire with people in them can make anyone wish for a repeat. Let alone trying to escape the gangs of nutter on a war pace... When you are stuck in the middle, you don't know what their intentions are, it's not nice.

If anyone starts riots again, there should be special sentencing. Very harsh one.

Still don't know why there would be riots, but ok.

@isabellerossignol where do you live

@OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow Thank you

I can see where you are coming from OP. For me, there are things behind me often agreeing with you and feeling like there is no joy fall into 2 camps, one arguably much more important than the the other.

So on the more important one, its basically all the bad news, all the death and the prospects for the economy. From my perspective, this is all made worse by my total lack of confidence in the government. This is based on what they have done before COVID and now. Before the crisis, they stripped the NHS of funding so it was in a bad place to cope with this and oversaw cuts to benefits that left millions living on the edge of extreme poverty that this crisis will only make worse. In terms of the response, I think most people agree that the government was too slow to act and seems to have no exit plan from the lockdown. Its clear from the way things have gone in Korea and Germany that the way out is testing and more testing and they aren't moving fast enough on it. I also have read and heard direct about all the testing centres being drive through which is ridiculous - most nurses working in central London don't have cars. And to add to all of this the idiots in charge are absolutely determined to stick another nail in the economy by going ahead with full Brexit come what may. So I fear for our futures, A LOT.

The second arguably less important reason relates to my specific lock down circumstances. They are not as bad as some, but I don't have a garden and live in central London and as a lot of people have said lock down is definitely easier when you have a larger house,
with outside space and/or nearby country side to roam in. The advantages to living in London have all been taken away and what is left is a fearful and scary place. But at least my home is safe and I have a job.

In terms of coping with all of this, I have also find my previously most trusted and reliable way for dealing with anxiety is not working for this. In 2015 I had CBD for GAD and one of the techniques my therapist recommended was to rationally think through the worst outcome related to a particular worry. It sounds counter-intuitive but it was extremely effective for realising my anxieties about new jobs, my kids new school etc were all surmountable and could be dealt with. Thinking through the worst possible outcome for an international emergency is not effective at all - its the stuff of nightmares! What does seem to be working this time are some of the other techniques she taught me which relate to shifting attention away from the anxiety and focusing on things which keep you happy in the immediate moment. So doing things I enjoy like drawing, and watching some really absorbing TV are getting me through. Also going for a walk or run and taking time to notice nature (even in central London) has been nice. I think I probably also need to pay less attention to the news (or at least less time absorbing it) to reduce anxiety and also stop doing things which increase my envy of others easier lock down situs (e.g. unfollowing certain insta accounts or not having the zoom chat with a bunch of friends who all happen to have massive gardens but still moan about being cooped up)