To find it rude that people just don’t acknowledge texts?

[Ladyks]

Basically that. Been trying to organize something (don’t want to say in case it’s outing) and have been messaging a lot of friends and some just flat out don’t respond? If you don’t want to participate, then fine, but why ignore the message full stop? It’s WhatsApp so I know these “friends” have read it. Some initially responded, and when I sent a reminder message (one reminder as they hadn’t participated yet, & the day before I needed it— & they knew about it for over a week from the original message), they just ignored it? I’m just frustrated & find it incredibly annoying, and no, it’s nothing that asked for money or anything complicated. Also seems to be my British friends more so than my American friends that just don’t ever respond. Is it cultural perhaps?? Just having a rant really, it’s hard to organize things. Thanks for making it this far.

It's the OP's response to all this that is leading people to call it demanding.

See, I'm still not getting that @dreamingbohemian. I see it as her asking, some people responding, then her sending a reminder to which some did and some didn't respond. I can't read any more into it than that at all. Though it's difficult to know without seeing specific messages used I suppose isn't it.

Harry I agree she's not being overtly demanding in her texts -- she's not saying directly, I demand you reply to this or do this.

It is more the attitude that she is expressing here that is demanding. People better reply to my request or else I'll get upset and think less of them and reevaluate the friendship.

Her friends may not have seen it as a demand, but when we here see what she is actually thinking, it comes off as demanding.

I didn't actually use the word demand myself originally but I think this is where people are getting it from.

@dreamingbohemian I think that perhaps some of the OP's replies are just in response to some pretty unkind comments early on (not replying to her 'timetable' etc) so perhaps that's why. To be honest I don't really understand people saying they just don't have time to send a response to people when a quick sentence would take them less time than an average post on here!

It's like the extrovert/introvert posts, I think -- two kinds of people in the world who will never really understand each other :)

I do feel a bit bad for the OP, I just think with everything that's going on we should all cut each other some slack and not take things personally.

What Leaann said: Myphone is for my conveience. Definitely not yours.
I have one WhatsApp group for a work project where the agreement is that all concerned respond to all posts asap.
Other messages, as well as calls, totally at my convenience. Every time.

Hi @HarrySnotter , sorry been busy all day.

As PP have said, it's the way that she is expressing herself on here that comes across in a less than positive way.

She has said she is mad, finds it hurtful that her DH is clearly not a priority, called people rude (a lot) etc etc.

I understand that OP doesn't grasp that it could be a big deal for some, and that she just wanted to do something nice for her DH. As a sole act, it's actually quite sweet and if I was her DH, I would be delighted!

In my experience, you can ask people to do things but then it's up to them if they do it or not. I do not agree with then calling people out for not behaving in the way that you want them to, or sharing the same priorities as you. That's just controlling. And I would bet that if OP is pissed off enough to post on here, there will be some form of negative/hurt/frustrated body language in RL, indicating that she is holding a grudge. Which won't bode well, if these are her DH's good friends. I hope her DH didn't pick up on it.

If I had received that message, I probably would not have replied, and I definitely would not have sent a video. I would have tried to remember to send a text message on the day though. If it had been in a group message, I would have just left it immediately, without responding, because I bloody hate all the notifications.

Reminders would just be another irritation and unwanted pressure (on top of working full time from home, home schooling kids, etc etc etc).

Also, no snippiness here.

@nightswimmers I do see your point, I suppose I just feel a bit sorry for the OP. She got some pretty sarky and (I thought) harsh replies for trying to do something nice for her DH. I will admit that I do get pissed off when people don't acknowledge a message, (even if it's a very quick ' no, sorry!') probably because I wouldn't do that as I find it rude myself. Maybe I'm just old and grumpy. Very possible.

@HarrySnotter thank you, you’ve got it exactly.

The people I think are rude are the ones that said “Sounds great, I’ll get a message to you” then didn’t, then ignored the ONE reminder (I’m not in the business of hassling people, the very few that ignored the first message did not get a reminder text as I assumed they weren’t interested) then ignored my husband’s birthday altogether- no text or call, & I still haven’t heard from them when they’ve been messaging all day on separate group messages unrelated to my message (I sent the messages to everyone personally, not in a group message).

I did not say one way or the other for anyone to message or call him on the day or not- that was their choice, as you all keep saying, they are adults. The plans I had for his birthday were not related to any other birthday greetings they wanted or didn’t want to do & most did actually call/message him yesterday separately.

I also don’t see how any of you find it relevant to the thread to say how much you’d hate the birthday idea? I hope no one ever does it for you then, & if I thought my husband wouldn’t like it then I assure you, I wouldn’t have planned it. Still not relevant to why I was hurt. Surely even a “sorry I forgot” would be something, but nada from these people!

I also didn’t ask anyone to participate that I didn’t think would enjoy doing it based on what I know of them as people. Yes there are much worse things going on in the world right now & always, but is that a reason to be rude to your friends?

Anyway, my husband absolutely loved his birthday plans, it was much more involved than just playing him video messages/reading out messages to him- by the way. Most of his friends are lovely and have messaged me since (& even during the evening) to see how everything had gone.

Hope you all have a lovely week, and thank some of you meaner posters for the reminder not to be so judgmental & harsh when I comment on someone else’s situation.

@Ladyks I am glad your DH had a lovely birthday. That's all that really matters.