To think more women would stay single if it wasn't for societal pressure

[penelopepitstopsgain]

When you consider women live longer when single, are less likely to suffer mental, emotional and physical distress (16 women and children have been murdered to date since lockdown in the UK) there is a strong public health case that staying single is better for women; yet society often frowns on it and other women often"pity" single women.

FWIW i'm in a LTR, but I've never had an issue being single... in many cases it's been preferable for my peace of mind!

On here you see it time and time again.. women hanging on to the lowest forms of life sometimes with horrific consequences for them and their children, all for that dreaded fear of being alone and it got me thinking..

If there was a PR campaign that positioned being single as the healthy option it is, more women would be brave enough to opt out.

YABU - Women want relationships and society has no influence

YANBU - If single was the norm more women would make that choice

I've been single for approx 3 years since my last partner beat the shit out of me. Never again.

I think if people are happily married that’s great. I know so few who are though. Same as some are happily single and others are not.

There is definitely pressure on single women to pair up even if it’s with the dullest most pointless men. Also some women still need someone to “take care of them financially”. I would like us to move on from those types of views so that men and women can I’ve as they chose and be valued for themselves.

Live as they choose that should be

@Annamaria14 I admire your positive attitude however in my experience it's been draining enough dealing with 1 man, never mind 10!
I also don't do small talk so unless i connect with someone on a deep level I wouldn't waste my time, but as you said whatever makes us happy

I am a strong believer that every woman has the potential to be attracted to other women

I agree with this. Having always considered myself heterosexual, I unexpectedly fell in love with my female best friend. It was all about the connection we had - so it was more of an emotional love but the physical love developed after that. I ended up telling her and she totally freaked out, so we're no longer friends - but hey, that's another story!

I can see your point here. For me personally, I love being able to share my life with someone I really love.

However, I think it's almost more taboo not to want children. Until recently I was very ambivalent about having kids, but the pressure from society and families are relentless.

I wouldn't enjoy sleeping with loads of different men, that's me though. If you do then good for you. I don't think it can be serious with all of them though?!

My dad emotionally abused me to feel worthless and ugly. If I had a different father I think I would have been more confident about myself to go into more positive relationships and not abusive. I would have been a completely different person on other areas of my life too.

I was seeing someone who was so emotionally draining and needy...he would always say 2 is better then 1 and everything he said had to be right. It was like having a child... tantrums and tears too... emotional blackmail. He would have been faithful and stayed with me...I just couldn't do it.

I finally learnt sometimes its better to stay single.

I feel as colleagues pity me and some friends who are settled are glad they are not single and childfree.

I desperately wanted to marry and settle when I was younger. Now I'd be happy with a FWB and holiday companion....

yes, because women are really stupid and only do what they do due to 'societal pressure'.

and other women are idiotic handbag-carriers who 'pity' the single women. Any woman that did that isn't worth oxygen.

how insulting to the vast majority of women who do have brains and the capacity for independent thought.

Like I go to the cinema with one man on Thursday, I go for dinner with a different guy on Sunday

Well, so do I, but I'm also happily married, and these men are my friends. I'd be the last one to suggest everyone should pair off, but marriage has never stopped me having close male friends, or DH close female friends.

If I could have my time again I’d couple up with a woman.

It’s like Joan Collins said what a successful women needs is a wife!

Only if you think ‘wife’ is synonymous with bustling about careerlessly in a pinny ironing your underwear, making sure that children and domestic chores don’t get in the way of your job or round of golf...

Nah, I think it works for both sexes. Why do some men feel the need to marry women they hate.
I think most women these days see the advantages to being single. I certainly didn’t feel any pressure to not have DS because I wasn’t married and his dad had done a runner. In fact his dad got more stick from people for being crap whilst there was no pressure on us to be a couple.

In the real world women fall in love, want kids or decide that life would be easier and cheaper as a two. I don’t think society gives a shit sbout marriage anymore.

People do seem to stay in bad relationships far too long from my casual observation. Maybe it's the sunken cost fallacy. Plus once you have a kid, you're more trapped. Even if you do split up, you cant ever escape that person completely cos they'll always be the kids father.

I dont really care that much about men in general but I really love my DP. If I couldn't have him, I'd be single I think. I quite like the idea of living alone sometimes.

When someone tells me they're married, my automatic response is not: 'Oh, don't worry, I'm sure you'll soon be divorced'. and I would make sure to never speak to you again because you sound like a massive bitch.

Yes.

OH GOD BASTARD WINE! I’ve just seen the “not” in the post I’ve just quoted and now I’m a massive bitch. I’m so sorry.

I would be better off single, emotionally.
But she adores her SD. She's 6. He is her dad. Her actual dad cannot be relied on.

We have been together since she was two. She recognises he is her step dad and has made the decision to call him her dad since this year.

@TenToTheDozen I agree

@thecatsthecats What about science? What is unscientific? Statistics that married women have harder and shorter lives? Historical knowledge about all the abuse women endured inside of institution of marriage? Biological knowledge about mammal, specifically primate, behavior? In birds, for example, chromosomes work differently, so they are not a comparison. Anthropological knowledge about the different ways humans organize their society?
I think minority that has truly happy marriage or partnership are held as ideal, and majority feel they need to have it too and fly like butterflies to the fire.
That and children. We are told daily that children can’t be successfully raised without fathers. In reality matrilineal (mothers wider family) child rearing is more secure and stable than couple’s. Our perception of natural order is culturally clouded.

I like having different lovers, and I like the chance to be alone and single. I am lucky that I have great friends and family, my mum lives just round the corner for example. And I have enough money.

I don't feel any societal pressure but I do feel pity sometimes from people who haven't considered that for me my lifestyle might be a choice and not because I can't bag a man. I just let that one slide because I don't mind what people feel about my situation.

I would prob not get married and just date if I had my chance again.

Yanbu at all.

When i was a kid/young i remember dreading to have to grown up and date/marry a man.
Honestly, afraid of it.
I don’t recall what age it was when it hit me that i don’t have to do any of it.
But i remember the sheer relief!

I have just been doing my own thing my entire life. Happily.
I do sometimes wish i had more like minded people to talk to.