To be annoyed about my neighbours complaining

[BuzzingtheBee]

About my children playing in the garden? And us playing music over the bank holiday weekend (not loud)? The children only play out when its nice weather so not that much, I’m happy they are outside and not stucknto ipads etc!

@dontdisturbmenow while our next door neighbours were building their home, they stayed over in the house next to us for few months... They had few adopted children two are twins (think they were 4-5 yrs old) ... Those twins my goodness, the boy was next level naughty, he wouldnt stop teasing the girl, and her only comms method is screaming and screeching nonstop for hours every single day... How? How does she not lose her voice? Beyond me. Thank god they moved back.

We've never complained cuz beside they are adopted and we encourage adoption, we completely understand the hardship, and keeping those two inside must be hard for the mum, god she needs a break!! I dont feel the same towards bio mothers but adopted mothers are taking care of kids in need that would otherwise be in a miserable system

People who are saying considerate neighbours don’t play music loud enough for their neighbours to hear obviously live privileged lives. If my neighbours are in the garden having a normal conversation I can hear every single word. It’s a terrace house and the gardens are small-

Should I tell them to stop talking in their gardens anymore as it’s inconsiderate of my feelings as I don’t want to hear it at all?

Thank goodness there is no law for not being able to play music at a reasonable level regardless if neighbours can hear it. Amen!

That's what I've been saying! The way our houses are any music at all is just as audible in the next garden as it is in ours. I mean, on hot days like this music being played at home indoors can be heard faintly

I can hear all my neighbours talking snowdown. I can probably hear 6 different households (gardens are about 20ft Square so tiny). Mostly they are not all out at once but sometimes I can hear several conversations. It’s fine. None of them would dream of playing music in their gardens because they are not twats.

We've never complained cuz beside they are adopted and we encourage adoption, we completely understand the hardship, and keeping those two inside must be hard for the mum, god she needs a break!! I dont feel the same towards bio mothers smile but adopted mothers are taking care of kids in need that would otherwise be in a miserable system

What ?

We've never complained cuz beside they are adopted and we encourage adoption, we completely understand the hardship, and keeping those two inside must be hard for the mum, god she needs a break!! I dont feel the same towards bio mothers smile but adopted mothers are taking care of kids in need that would otherwise be in a miserable system

Yeah birth parents that have children with additional needs, then fuck them you'd complain about them.

What a fucking twatty post!!!

*We've never complained cuz beside they are adopted and we encourage adoption, we completely understand the hardship, and keeping those two inside must be hard for the mum, god she needs a break!! I dont feel the same towards bio mothers smile but adopted mothers are taking care of kids in need that would otherwise be in a miserable system
*
As an adoptive mum, I find that quite patronising, I'm afraid. Yes it is hard with adopted DDs, but we still expect them to be considerate in how much noise they make.

Also, you're showing very little understanding of the adoption process. The children that are freed up for adoption won't be going back to their birth families, and it's social workers who do the matching process. If my DDs hadn't been placed with us, they would have been placed with another adoptive family.

Some bio families have a really difficult time as well, if they have children with SEN for example. My DSis has 2 bio DC and one adopted DS. Her adopted DS is much easier to manage than her bio DS, who is 4 years older. My DD2 (8) is also a lot easier to manage than my DD1 (11), who has SEN and adoption related attachment issues.

You really shouldn't make that distinction. , because, unless you actually know the family, you really won't have any idea what their family situation is, so assumptions are completely inappropriate.

Or as though it's easy for a birth mother to handle unruly children but if they're adopted it's must be really hard... why?

@Mittens030869 @carriebreadshaw
thats not my point
children can be unruly in either case, children can be unwell in either case.

Going out of your way to help a child in need is what i appreciate and value, and that where my sympathy for her comes to place.

My cousins fosters children, and one of the girls she has, SS is are struggling to find adoptive parents for her, she's been moved between 3 foster homes, and they r still looking...
the other one returned few months ago after they thought they found her an adotive mother (her aunt), cuz the aunt decided she fights with my son so take her back!!!!! My cousin fought to adopt the girl, but court decided relatives come first!!

So i think i know enough about the struggle of these kids to realise finding loving adoptive parents is not a fun journey!! And i apsolutely admire adoptive parents for that.

Ruly children, or unwell children have nothing to do with it. No one said anyone has it easier.

Mittens030869 @carriebreadshaw*
thats not my point
children can be unruly in either case, children can be unwell in either case.

Going out of your way to help a child in need is what i appreciate and value, and that where my sympathy for her comes to place.

My cousins fosters children, and one of the girls she has, SS is are struggling to find adoptive parents for her, she's been moved between 3 foster homes, and they r still looking...
the other one returned few months ago after they thought they found her an adotive mother (her aunt), cuz the aunt decided she fights with my son so take her back!!!!! My cousin fought to adopt the girl, but court decided relatives come first!!

So i think i know enough about the struggle of these kids to realise finding loving adoptive parents is not a fun journey!! And i apsolutely admire adoptive parents for that.

Ruly children, or unwell children have nothing to do with it. No one said anyone has it easier.*

Jesus Christ what a load of twaddle!

Most people wouldn't know if the children next door were adopted!

@Hannah021 Okay, I think I was harsher than I should have been, and it is good that you're aware that some children have had a rough start in life and that you're making allowances. But you need to consider that the same can be true with bio children with SEN so you need to take that into account.

Also, adoptive and foster children need to learn not to make too much noise as well. My DDs do get over excited but we always tell them to calm down and not shout. I don't like it when they scream at each other so I know very well that neighbours will be even less tolerant.

I also wouldn't be telling neighbours who weren't also friends that my DDs are adopted anyway, so they wouldn't even know that.

@hesgotit who said they would know? One lady was sharing how much noise her neighbours were making, i shared my story with our neighbour...
Maybe she would understand if she realises the children are unwell, or have other issues. I, in addition, give adoptive parents the extra allowance.
I would never approach a neighbour about her kids regardless because i cant deal with children, and dont expect others to know either lol

hesgotit who said they would know? One lady was sharing how much noise her neighbours were making, i shared my story with our neighbour...
Maybe she would understand if she realises the children are unwell, or have other issues. I, in addition, give adoptive parents the extra allowance.
I would never approach a neighbour about her kids regardless because i cant deal with children, and dont expect others to know either lol

This post makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever, I've no idea what you're getting at!

I lived in a Sunshine Coast (Australia) estate for a while; every bloody Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday afternoon, someone would be having a barbie, complete with blaring music and shouting people which would finally finish at 2am, usually with the arrival of a police car.

I much prefer our MC estate here in Hampshire!

The world seems to be divided into people who are considerate and people who aren’t. unfortunately that is about 50-50.

Today I had to end a conference call early because my neighbour was blasting dance music in his garden so loud you could hear it clearly through the double glazing and people in the call thought I was playing it☹️.

Three hours later it has finally stopped and the neighbours who are attached to me are now having a massive row. Aw few people give a shit about their neighbours

@Snowdown24 there's a massive difference between overhearing a conversation and overhearing music. No one is saying that you shouldn't make any audible sound in your garden just don't play music. If everyone played music in their gardens I'd be able to hear about 10 different songs all played over each other and it would be a nightmare. If all my neighbours had normal conversations in the garden (which most are during this summer weather) the noise is very easy to ignore.

Clap for NHS just occurred on my street, the daughter has just settled down, only to be woken screaming by the dick down the street who decides it's a good time to blast his road sweepers' horn for the full minute.

It's too loud, therefore he's an inconsiderate twat

#sarcasm

The clap just finished here, all the neighbours out, no 2m distancing. All laughing and joking, just out for a social as I can't see what there is to laugh about if you are thinking about what the frontline staff are going through.

@WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne there is also a massive difference in low background music and blaring dance music for hours

True occasional quiet music is much less obnoxious than loud constant music but still a bit unnecessary.

I don't mind the noise of children playing. Next door the daughter moved back in with her parents who are around my age she is 30+.Not with her partner he is visiting. She has a aporix 10 month old and 3 year old They scream and cry a lot and for the past 24 days music has been played the Base dum dum 24/7. I mean all day all night. Could that be harmful for the children. It's hurting my ears also the two sons of our neighbour and the mum/nan smoke cannabis. No offence to any users on here but they drive after smoking it. We couldn't have kids. I can't sleep well anyway have arthritis. The music is driving me mad. Any advice please?

@floris82

I also don't mind the noise of children playing, even if they are loud. I don't mind because it isn't my responsibility to have to deal with it. It's much more stressful when it's my DDs because it's my responsibility to tell them to keep their voices down. Also, young children go to sleep relatively early so they don't disturb me at night. (This isn't true of babies or a lot of toddlers, of course, especially when they're teething, but I would never complain about that, as parents can't stop that.)

Playing loud music constantly, especially if it's late into the night, is very inconsiderate and anti-social behaviour. (I don't object to the very occasional party, though.)