*Frequency of contact will depend on many factors (6), but in the absence of factors weighing against a certain level of contact, the following may be used as a framework with the contact accelerated or retarded, extended or diminished, as circumstances justify. The underlying principle should be one of an "ascending ladder" of frequency which should remain child focussed at all times. The earlier after parental separation that contact commences, then the easier it becomes for the child to understand and accept, and it establishes a pattern for the future.
In matters which are decided in court by order and where the non-residential parent is obliged to convey the child to his/her home or some other place for contact, then allowance should be made for travelling time as appropriate. Birth to 18 months: Birth is a starting point simply because one has to start somewhere, but, clearly, at a young and vulnerable age great care must be taken over contact arrangements. At an early age, children have short memories and frequent short visits are important (twice a week would be acceptable in normal circumstances). There is no reason why these visits (including some 'outings') cannot be unsupervised and they can gradually increase in length to about three hours at a time over a period.
18 months to 3 years: Established, frequent visits can now be extended to include some meals. By the age of two years, a monthly overnight stay might be possible, encouraged and supported by each parent and carefully monitored for any distress to the child, and leading to more frequent overnight stays during the latter part of this period. Three to five years: As the child moves into the third year, overnight visits can be extended to some two night week-ends, initially once a month. The maintenance of the frequency of contact is important to the child as is the timing of visits from now on. Children have an expectation that promises will be kept and that when contact is due to take place, it actually happens and at the time arranged. By the age of four, short (perhaps 2-3, extending to 3-4 days) holiday periods, especially at Christmas, Easter and during the summer, can be started.
Five to eight years: By the age of five, contact should be established, but school and other developing activities will now begin to have an impact. Weekday contact (unless the parents live in close proximity) may not be so appropriate. However, week-end staying contact can now be extended to alternate week-ends (usually from Friday evening through to Sunday evening, but not excluding the possibility of the child being taken to school on a Monday morning if suitable arrangements can be made between the parents). Holiday periods can also be extended as soon as appropriate to a week at Christmas and at Easter, half the half-term school break, and a couple of weeks during the summer. At times during which contact does not occur, letters/cards are important, and telephone calls can be useful if they can be conducted in 'private' and free from any pressure on the child.*