Do you wake sleeping teens or leave them be?

[ChandlerIsTheBestFriend]

Should they be up because it’s day time and everyone else is up or should they be left to suit themselves as there is literally nothing for them to do, nowhere for them to go and no-one to see?

YANBU= wake them
YABU= leave them be

I wake my 18yr old at 10.30 everyday but he doesnt come down till about 12.30. If he gets in a poor sleep.routine he then gets more anxious about general day to day stuff he has ASD its just not worth it...still grumpy though.

If my teens aren't already up by about 9am then I wake them. The 18yo is usually up, but the 16yo has to be woken.

I wouldn't always do this in "normal times" but I think that it's really important to keep to some kind of basic routine at the moment.

Leave them be. As long as they seem happy and relaxed and engage with you sometimes, it's fine.

I leave mine. I have the odd lie in.

Anyone waking their teen is braver than me.

I leave mine to sleep as he’s 16 and old enough to decide what he wants to do. He seems to be up by 2pm and then goes to bed anytime between 2am and 5am. He has dinner with us but sorts out the rest of his meals and food. He’s exercising and talking to us and friends and overall seems to be doing well despite missing out on his exams and not being able to see his friends. He has a routine, it’s just at a different time. 🤣 My daughter is a bit younger and she gets up by 10.30 and goes to bed about midnight.

As the parent of a toddler, I look forward to having to make such decisions

Urgh I remember my mother waking my teen self up by flinging open the fucking door and opening curtains at whatever arbitrary time she'd decided "enough was enough" because it was daytime, every. God. Damn. Weekend.

Sometimes 8am, sometimes 9am, whatever.

Despite the fact that I was an unusually responsible child. Always did homework without being cajoled. Never smoked or drugs. Had a part time job. And so on.

Yet because her body clock has always woken her around 6am, she deems it somehow "inappropriate" to let anyone else lie in, no matter how late they were up studying all night.

It was used as a random, but also predictable, weekly psychological punishment. I always swore I would never be so needlessly cruel to my children.

So no, I wouldn't wake someone... unless they were going to miss a flight or important event, but even then, that's what an alarm is for and it's a good lesson in managing one's own time if you miss something important..

Mine have been sleeping till 12-1pm the last few weeks but they know tomorrow they will be up at 11am and doing online schooling and hopefully in bed by 11pm at night. They are 15 and 13.

Will wake dd 15 at 9am tomorrow as “schoool day” and she has work to do. Otherwise leave them to it, u TIL lunchtime, ds 15 usually up by 8

I fulfil the role of 'Speaking Clock' in that by late morning I stick my head in the bedroom and say things like, 'Are you getting up? It's 11.00am'.

I might do it half an hour or so later. But apart from that I leave DS (14) to get up when he manages it.

My biggest teen who is nearly 15 has slumped even further into the low mood she was in before corona virus so she is now up all night and sleeping all day and feels hideous. So I am attempting to wake her but failing miserably.

I wake my 13 year old up at 10 she comes down around 11..don't want to leave her any longer or she will be up all night which keeps me awake. Difference with me I also have a toddler to get up with at half six so I can't stay up late. I know that's not my 13 year old's problem but it is what it is

@TheRealCaroleBaskin how do they cope with that? I've been trying to keep to them going to bed around midnight and my 13 year old was absolutely furious with me! He has now gone to stay at his Dads as he says I am so disgustingly unreasonable and he hates staying in "this fucking house."

I let them sleep. 11 year old is generally up by 9, my 13 year old is a bit more hit and miss. Some days it's 9, other days its 11:30.

Sleep deprivation is extremely unhealthy, let them sleep

@KaronAVyrus that is exactly my 16 year old DD so now I just leave her until she wakes herself up .

DS15 wakes between 8-9, DS 17 around 10. If they are physically asleep I would leave them, but if just lying in their bed on screens I give them an hour of that after waking and then encourage them to get up and dressed.

Standby for the 'overly invested parents brigade'.. they will be frothing at the mouth thinking that little Jonty won't get into Cambridge unless he is up at 7 doing calculus...

Meanwhile back on planet real world my teen is sleeping until she wakes up. Sometimes that's 9 , sometimes that's 5pm... all I know is that I am so glad the world has stopped for a while and the planet has had a few weeks to breathe...

@h3av3n is it sleep deprivation though. It seems it is more shifting waking hours from say 10pm to 10.00am. To 2pm to 2am. I dont see how this is remotely advantageous. They are still getting the same amount of sleep.

@DressesWithPocketsRockMyWorld

That’s not nice - hope you’re ok

Leave them be. I love the peace and quiet in the morning when I have the house to myself.

My kids are moody, irrational, short tempered & rude when they are lacking in sleep.
It’s my parenting style to get them out in the fresh air, to bed at a reasonable time etc. They are early risers so when they go to bed after 10pm they are just too ratty the next day. So it’s ok to leave them to it a couple of nights a week but it’s not the norm.
The sun is shining for once , I want them out in it , plenty of time for pj days when the rain is here , which it is far too frequently .

However every house is different . My own parents just left us to it . Each to their own .

I’ve been waking 14 year old 10ish after he text me at work one day saying oh crap I’ve just woken up and it’s 1.30!!! Poor dog must’ve been crossing her legs 🤣

@recycledbottle If they're waking up late, they're probably going to sleep late too, if they're woken up early then it's likely they won't get the amount of sleep they need