Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you wake sleeping teens or leave them be?

225 replies

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 13/04/2020 13:52

Should they be up because it’s day time and everyone else is up or should they be left to suit themselves as there is literally nothing for them to do, nowhere for them to go and no-one to see?

YANBU= wake them
YABU= leave them be

OP posts:
sunshineanddaffodils · 13/04/2020 14:51

I wake mine at 12 o’clock and they go to bed 11.30 pm ish.
After Easter holidays I’ll wake them at 9 so they can start to do work school sets at 10.

NoShitHemlock · 13/04/2020 14:55

DD14 has turned into a vampire & I have taken to calling her Dracula.

All of her school work is up to date and she has spent the nights re-reading one of her favourite set of books, so I have left her to it. She emerged at 1pm today, but my mum (who lives with us) informed me DD was singing (!) at 7am this morning.

YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus · 13/04/2020 15:02

Laughing at the pearl clutching over a teenager up gaming all night.

16 year old here, asleep til 2pm most days despite my attempts to wake earlier. Glad its not just him!

LBOCS2 · 13/04/2020 15:07

DSS is going to sleep at about 1am, waking up c. 2pm here. He evidently needs the sleep, even our 3yo doesn't get 13hrs usually. He's better for it, he has nothing to be up for - we just leave him to it.

SheilaHammond · 13/04/2020 15:10

13 year old DS has just woken up and had a shower. We're leaving him to sleep as it's the Easter holidays. There's nothing to do and it Jean's he's not gaming or watching drivel on youtube. He's been going to bed about 11pm. I'd say leave them be. It's crazy times.

alloutoffucks · 13/04/2020 15:10

I have teens. During normal times I would wake them and say we are going out for the day. But at the moment I would be waking them to do things in the house or sit in our tiny garden. So I leave them to sleep. And post on MN in peace.

Candyflosscookie · 13/04/2020 15:14

Mine is only 13 so an early teen. Seems to still naturally wake around 10-11am but I do give him a shout by 11 if he's not yet emerged.
I don't want him to go too nocturnal yet as he will need to be up for school stuff around 10am next week. He can also get migraines if he's dehydrated/oversleeps in the heat so that's another reason to try to keep a more relaxed but regularish routine.
He hasn't moaned yet!

AppleKatie · 13/04/2020 15:17

I don’t have teens yet but i was one.

If I had no concerns about depression and they were doing something productive for some of their awake time +joining the family for dinner I’d be content to let them sleep as long as they like.

Frankly from this end of parenting this sounds like an ‘excellent’ problem to have 😂

recycledbottle · 13/04/2020 15:17

My parents always made us get up by 10.00 am. This was the absolute max. I will do the same. Up half the night and sleeping half the day is very bad for your mental health. Im surprised the amount of posters who are letting teens sleep the day away.

PoptartPoptart · 13/04/2020 15:18

Usually I let them sleep.
However, just once in awhile I’ll breeze into their bedrooms at 10am, open the curtains and start talking incessantly in an annoying, cheery, sing-sing voice.
It’s payback for all those toddler mornings when they would decide that 5am was a perfectly reasonable time to start the day.
This parenting lark has to have some perks surely Grin

alloutoffucks · 13/04/2020 15:21

I was feeling like a crap parent for letting them do this, so this has cheered me up a little bit.

SassenachWitch · 13/04/2020 15:25

I go up to DD (15) and open her curtains at 1pm, she’s on the front so anyone passing by will think we’re slobs 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t force her out of bed though, she’ll only come downstairs, make a bowl of cereal and take it back to her bed anyway.

DD (12) usually surfaces about 11am, but does the same as above, cereal and back to dossing on her bed.

It’s Easter hols, and if I was out at work, this is what they’d be doing whilst home alone anyway.

Once this fortnight is over, I’ll wake them around 10am to try and have some form of routine, but I’m not pushing them whilst this is going on. 15 year old has had the rug pulled from under her regarding GCSE’s so she’s feeling a bit lost. 12 year old was made for this lifestyle, she’s a sloth in disguise.

WearyandBleary · 13/04/2020 15:25

I wake mine at 10am. They prefer it and I think it keeps them mentally healthy tbh.

The house is small with he loo by my bedroom. I hate them waking me up at night and it makes me ragey.

lyralalala · 13/04/2020 15:25

@PoptartPoptart I’m so stealing that Grin

PeytonManning · 13/04/2020 15:26

Do none of them have virtual school?! Mine have to get up as they have live classes.

Original poster
ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 13/04/2020 15:28

peyton it’s Easter holidays where I am so no virtual school to attend.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 13/04/2020 15:37

Its easter holidays here for another week so no school work is given out. They didnt have virtual school anyway though

lyralalala · 13/04/2020 15:39

@PeytonManning Easter holidays here. The school the 17yos attend have online work to be done as and when. Internet is shite in the mornings now everyone is home and trying to log on at the same time so even my younger kids are doing their school work in the afternoons and early evening

GetOffTheTableMabel · 13/04/2020 15:44

I get them up at midday if they haven’t already emerged (which about half the time they have). Just so they don’t get too entrenched in a completely dysfunctional sleep pattern. I don’t mind them skipping breakfast but I’m not running a cafe. Lunch is at 1pm and dinner about 7.30 pm and they seem to find that logic reasonable. I don’t get any grumbles. I do take tea or coffee with me when I go to open the curtains though.

PeytonManning · 13/04/2020 15:50

Ahhhh, yes. That makes sense. We lost Spring Break so I forgot it even existed. Thanks Cuomo!

notangelinajolie · 13/04/2020 15:57

Chose your battles.
A sleeping teen = you know exactly where they are, they aren't making mess and the house is all peace and harmony.
Sounds pretty perfect to me Grin

hopefulhalf · 13/04/2020 16:02

I was going to say let them sleep, but not till 1pm ! That way madness lies, mine are up between 9 and 10 by themselves, would wake them by 11am. Lastest reversed bodyclock does no one any favours.

Covert20 · 13/04/2020 16:05

I think I owe them some responsibility in terms of helping them maintain good mental health at the moment - which I think means some time outside, time up and about in daylight, some exercise. So no, I don’t leave them to sleep all day. I’m not getting them up with the lark, but if it’s approaching midday, I’ll go in, open the curtains, encourage them to get up. The absolute back stop if they have to be down for lunch. It would easier to just ignore them, but most actually fair, I don’t think.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 13/04/2020 16:07

I have started to wake him up, as he is going through the fridge in the middle of the night when I am asleep even when he eating far more than normal during the day

Ski4130 · 13/04/2020 16:10

We've been leaving ds1 (15) until he wakes up himself, which is anywhere between 1030am and 230pm. The only rule we have is that he has to shower and get changed once he's up and has to walk the dog and get some exercise in a day. His brother (12) gets up way earlier but the same rules apply to him. They're not allowed on their Xboxes past 10pm, and phones are taken off them at 11. They're usually out at sports training and matches up to 6 times a week, so we've decided that an enforced period of sleeping, eating and relaxing could actually be beneficial for them.