Do you wake sleeping teens or leave them be?

[ChandlerIsTheBestFriend]

Should they be up because it’s day time and everyone else is up or should they be left to suit themselves as there is literally nothing for them to do, nowhere for them to go and no-one to see?

YANBU= wake them
YABU= leave them be

I have a lot less washing as the kids are living in pjs too

I think teens body clocks change for a few years which is why they tend to sleep in and stay up late. This situation is probably actually good for our teens as they can get the amount of sleep they need at the time they naturally want to be sleeping rather than having to start school so early.

I've been leaving mine and they've been getting up about midday, means I get the morning to myself which is nice too lol.

I hit yanbu by mistake, I'd leave them be.

I'm not letting them sleep past 11ish. When they restart "school" again next week they'll be back to 9-3 school hours - they prefer the routine and have zoom lessons with friends so try to stick to their timetables (plus I'm praying there will be some online lessons from the school). So I think it's best they don't get too far out of sync.

Leave them

Oh my . I definitely wouldn’t be letting my teenager stay up until 5/6am gaming . I think that’s really unhealthy. Up late reading fair enough .

As it’s holidays I let them lie in but they are generally early risers anyway.
During ‘school time’ I try to keep them in some kind of routine.

Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus.

I leave them be. The 19yo is up all night and sleeps most of the day. The two 17yos are a split of up late/sleep late and up early and bed early.

The only rules we have is that they don't disturb the rest of the house at night and that we all eat together at 6pm (that's mainly because cooking/meal planning is so important at the moment for main meals)

I have three teenagers and I never wake them up. Younger two have been awake since 9ish but I have seen my 17 year old
Yet.

My mum used to be furious with me if I slept in, I have no idea why but she would be really angry and make comments about how lazy I was and I'd wasted the day, I never understood why but I also think about this when my teens are sleeping in.

My teen is up every morning before 7am. Three breakfasts are usually had before I even get up.

Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

I think a lot of teens need more sleep and a different 'shift' than school allows, so this change in rigidity is doing a lot of kids good.

Is this just while it is Easter holidays or has it been happening since lockdown?

I don't have my own teens, but I work with them and have read a lot about sleep and the effect of circadian rhythms on physical and mental health (Matt Walker, Satchjn Panda, Linda Geddes etc).

Yes, teenagers circadian clocks mean they're likely to fall asleep later and wake later than adults 30+, but later means up at 8am as opposed to 6am.

I would be very wary of allowing them to sleep in past 9am.

Disordered sleep has such a huge impact on anxiety, depression, stress etc I wouldn't let them lie too long. I'd be encouraging a sensible sleep routine as well as outside time (see below) and physical activity.

To have good sleep you need a large differential in light levels during the day. Bright in the morning/day time and dimming into the evening.

What feels like bright light indoors is orders of magnitude dimmer than an overcast day outside (I've tested it myself with light meters: ~400 lux indoors, even with huge windows on 3 sides, 5000-50000+ lux outdoors).

The dimming in the evening triggers the release of melatonin which causes sleepiness.

The other sleep trigger is the build up of adenosine (which is relieved when you have a nap). So people need to be awake long enough to build up this sleep pressure by being awake long enough before they try to sleep.

They won't be able to go to bed early after a late morning though. You'll have to turf them out of bed early one day.

Also, I know this is easy for me to say. Mine are yet to reach this stage!

I leave them. I'm grateful for some quiet time in the morning and they're content.

Is this just while it is Easter holidays or has it been happening since lockdown?

Today is the first day I haven’t woken him. I normally call him around 10-10:30 and he takes his time getting up but is awake from then. I haven’t even gone in is room today so he could be awake but I’ve heard no movement.

I’ve been leaving my dd the past few days.
I have been off work and there’s not much for her to get up for.
Once I’m back at work and she’s doing school work again, I will get her back in a routine.
The longer she sleeps, the less she eats!
Plus the less eye rolling I have to put up with 😂

Leaving 16yr old to sleep because its the holidays. Once back at 'school' next week I'll be waking him by 9. I think keeping some sort of daytime routine is important, they will have to go back to school eventually which means starting by 8.30, big shock if they've been allowed to become nocturnal :)

if you want be nice about getting them up serve them strong tea/coffee late morning - just try & get them to do some exercise every couple of days & keep an eye on what they are eating & make sure they drink plenty of liquids ( not caffeinated in the afternoon) & that they have a shower now & again.
But I can certainly remember weekends when I was living by myself as times when I didn't get dressed all day - (but I showered & changes into clean pjs in the evenings)
I am willing to bet many of us don't get dressed until nearly midday (or later) at the moment - in some ways the stress is off for some things (except those people who are facing delays in health treatment, problems with finance, worries about education & career, & of course concerns about vulnerable members & if you have anybody you care about affected by corona, & I am not ignoring the difficulties of living in enclosed spaces with family)

What we are going through at present are not normal circumstances we have no routine, no bedtime s and no wake up times, a bit of a free for all and when are all happy with that. We have an 18 and 17 yr old.

As long as they are being quiet I feel one of us are in their beds then I’m fine with that.

@maddiemookins16mum why aren’t you allowed to stay in bed after 11am in your house?

Over the easter holidays I'd leave them. I was like this as a teen (up till 4am and could sleep until 3pm).I think for teens it is a small thing that they can have control over (when appropriate ie not on schools days!) without doing much harm. I miss those days

Oh. I can't read Clicked YANBU and meant YABU. Leaving mine be (he is/was year 11).
He's practically becoming nocturnal but like the rest of us he's just got to do what he's got to do to get him through. Dh is more anti this which is causing a bit of tension.
I just feel desperately sorry for him - he was off sick for the last week the schools were open, and so the last day he would ever attend his school passed by without him knowing it had happened. Poor chap is really quite bewildered by the whole thing.

I call mine at 12:30, just for the heck of it. They hang out together & just do “stuff” no need to be committed to a specific time. They were getting up earlier during ‘school time’ but not sticking to timetable - no need. They worked in their own time and had everything done by deadlines so 🤷‍♀️
I am a great believer in sleep, maintaining routine, but at the moment, am happy to ditch it all, as long as they are happy. My childless single friend very recently told me I was doing this all wrong and should be maintaining 7am wake up. Apart from fact my youngest was having trouble getting to sleep and sending her to bed early = her getting increasingly anxious, I also want to save my own sanity by enjoying the morning peace.
No right/wrong answers, we do what we need to get by, but am also glad to hear of all the late sleepers 👍

Thank God for this thread. I thought it was just mine sleeping most of the day. Their sleep patterns are messed up at the moment. I leave mine. But going to try and get back into a routine soon, as she said the other day that she is starting to feel weird with the sleep patterns

I grew up in the 70s and was a teenager in the late 80s. I clearly remember my draconian mother virtually hauling me out of bed in the mornings! She had no idea that teens have very different body clocks.
There was talk recently that the government intended to enforce new laws on schools/colleges that lessons start an hour or 2 later for teens just so they are more awake for them and can absorb more info. It obvs never happened.