Do you wake sleeping teens or leave them be?

[ChandlerIsTheBestFriend]

Should they be up because it’s day time and everyone else is up or should they be left to suit themselves as there is literally nothing for them to do, nowhere for them to go and no-one to see?

YANBU= wake them
YABU= leave them be

Always left them they are now 32 and 26

Always left them they are now 32 and 26

So what you’re saying is, they survived lie-ins as teens.

ha at all the good mental health stuff. Over the years we have been in and out of camhs with DS1 but since leaving school and being college he is a different child, every weekend and day not in college he sleeps in unless he has something on.

in lock down I've left him to it. He does college and online work for his jobs (one is in a different time zone anyway) He socialises with friends on line and plays games. He gets up between 2.30 and 3pm

He eats tea with us watches stuff with us walks the dog and sits out in the garden when the suns out, or very occasionally will offer to help me in the garden.
We would both know if his mental health was about to take a nose dive.

I'm not worried about him getting back into routine because he does this in every holiday and weekends, he is capable of regulating himself fine when needed.

DD 14.5 I wake her latest 10.30 every morning. Think she's up until 12am or 1am normally

I wake mine at 10 but I don't mind whether or not they get out of bed. Neither of them likes their sleep schedule to get out of kilter, so they prefer it this way. I don't ask them to do anything before about 1pm though 😂

@TudorRoses very much enjoyed that hogwarts reference

Glad mine aren't the Only ones we have been joking they are like mice , only come and at night and eat all the biscuits from cupboards . Seriously I'm letting mine do whatever over Easter break but said have to be up earlier after when school work back on agenda , eldest has to sign in every day at 9:45 anyway .

When my step son came to live with me at 15 and it was the summer holiday after completing GCSE's i remember calling my mum and asking the same question.....her reply was why.....this is the last summer he will have before going out to get a job she was right he is nearly 22 and works full time and some.....im glad now I let him enjoy that freedom.
And of course as others say they will only need feeding!

Thank God for this thread - I was feeling rather guilty but am now reassured...

My 15yo has spent the last couple of weeks sleeping until after 1pm but then not settling to sleep until 3 in the morning. He is not allowed his phone or any tech in his room but he was reading for hours.

Interestingly he has, in the last few days, started asking me to wake him at 10 because he was finding it too disorientating to wake so late in the day.

So now he’s generally up somewhere between 10 and 11 and heads to bed around 11 which seems to work well.

Oh dear, this threat has caused a bit of an argument with my partner! I’m in the ‘leave them be’ camp but he’s not. I said 83% of people on the thread agree with me, which led him to lecture me about how it was discourteous to others in the house, etc. (I don’t see how it is.) I used to be allowed to lie in myself as teen/young adult and I grew out of it eventually. I think agree they are wasting their lives lying in bed on a lovely sunny day, but I suppose it’s their lives to waste.

These threads perplex me a little. With such an overwhelming consensus that teens should be able to sleep until whatever time as they 'need' it, where does that leave teens with daily ( morning) responsibilities? Are they being damaged by having to keep a routine and get up at a reasonable time? My own 15 ds has to get up at 8 latest even during the hols (7 on a normal school day).
And 19 year olds sleeping half the day? How are these guys going to adjust to working life? Or do MN children not work until 25? I am prepared for the flaming to come

Why do they need to get up at 8am.

@FabbyChix Maybe you should wake them up now?

Mine are the same and are sleeping 12 hours a day. One would normally be revising for GCSEs, so I’m just letting them get on with it.

Under normal circumstances they have no problem getting out of bed,so I don’t think it means they’ll be unable to function in the real world.

There’s a school that doesn’t start 6th form lessons until 1.30pm - 7pm.

Maybe you should wake them up now?

they’re bound to be starving!

I’ve been leaving ds (13) to his own routine in the holidays but I woke him at 10am this am as tomorrow is a “school day” and I’ve planned him a timetable starting at 10am. Hopefully the school won’t have any funny ideas like signing in at 08:30 as I’ve heard some do.

And 19 year olds sleeping half the day? How are these guys going to adjust to working life? Or do MN children not work until 25?

They adjust exactly the same as millions of teenagers have over donkeys years - absolutely fine

I think once they realise that working life will fund every single fun thing they want to do they’ll find a way to adjust.

My mum used to leave me to sleep late as a teenager. Now I always wake up really early. I guess your body clock changes.

We gently wake DD (19) about 2pm

Shes home from uni, super bored and all her friends are socialising online 8pm-3am

Katieweasel

“Let them sleep. The later they sleep the less they eat”

This really made me laugh!!🤣

Scientifically, teenagers need more sleep in order to function and growing brain development. I have always let mine have lie in unless there was a specific place to be. I.e school. It’s quite interesting when you read into it.

Mine were woken and hoofed out of bed at no later than nine in the morning.
There's always plenty to be getting on with rather than idling in bed.

The other week I was worried as ds was still sleeping at after 2pm, it reminded me of that feeling when they are tiny babies and you check they are still breathing in their cots as they are sleeping.. And they didn't like being woken up then either