Female 'friend' sent this to DH - can anyone translate from Polish?

[tippingpoint14]

So, my husband has a female friend. Big deal, he has many. I've never had a problem with his female friends. Ever. In fact, I've become friends with all the others. Love them to bits.

Until this one. She's also married and something about her jars with me. Then this popped up on his phone yesterday. He had sent her a picture of our son excited about Easter eggs. She replied with this meme, followed by the word for "sweetie" in Polish with hug emoji.

If someone out there speaks fluent Polish, please translate and let me know AIBU to feel uncomfortable with this woman sending this sort of thing to my husband. Much appreciated.

I wouldn’t in any way, shape or form be putting up with this Op and in fact, my dh would never ever partake in flirty/friendly texting another woman. The only woman he texts apart from family is a woman he works with and they only text very factual comments regarding work.

He is taking you for a fool. What does he get out of his friendship with her? It sounds like she strokes his ego and he enjoys having her flirt with him.

I can’t believe the people on here saying this is ok and that you are overreacting - I’d be going ape-shit!

Oh, and it sounds like she enjoys rubbing the fact they are both polish and you don’t understand what they are saying firmly in your face. And your dh shouldn’t disrespect you like that. So rude.

The woman sounds annoying but I think you're overreacting a little bit. Talk to your husband about it. And maybe try and learn some Polish during lockdown so you can join in conversations?

'I'm no longer prepared to accept your close so-called friendship with a twat who snubs me publicly while very obviously flirting with you. I'm done with being insulted, especially by a deperate idiot who spends most of her time disappearing up her own backside trying to look cool when she's actually just rude. I can't tell you who to have as a friend, I can however tell you that if you choose to be in contact with someone like this, who is disrespectful to me, I'm going to leave you. Your choice.'

Cue a hearty belly laugh from the Polish man.

At least she'll know what to do then.

I find it hard to believe that there's a culture that will show differing levels of hospitality to a husband and wife visiting together. I can't even think of an example, but if I had a friend visiting with her husband whom i did not like, I'd give them the same smile at the door, the same meal the same drink, the same good wishes. It'd be weird not to. I have lived in England, Ireland and Spain although never poland admittedly. I just don't think extending different levels of hospitality to each half of a couple can be written off as ''cultural''. That's making a point.

I can understand them wanting to speak Polish with each other. My husband is English, I am not. While I do speak fluent English and work in an environment where everyone speaks only English - when I meet with a friend or even an acquaintance from my neck of the woods I really enjoy speaking my native language. My DH is fine with that. Also he learned some of my native language so that he can join the conversation and that helps a lot.

Yeah I don't agree that it's a cultural thing. All Polish women aren't exactly the same just because they are Polish. There's plenty of women from other countries who act the way this woman is acting. They are flirty women who get off on the attention they get from men and generally hate other women.

She may not want your husband exactly, but she just wants to have his full attention from you and to know that she could win him if she wanted to.

I would be telling your husband no more conversations in Polish in your presence if he must continue a relationship with her, although really he should respect the fact that she is a rude cow to you and ditch her.

I would be furious of my husband had a female friend. In our religion and culture, we don't have friends of the opposite sex. Why would I need a Male friend when I have my husband to be my best friend and there are plenty of wonderful women to have s friendship and relationship with. If I found out a lady was sending my husband messages, which wouldn't happen cos we both have the same views I would lose my mind

maybe try and learn some Polish during lockdown so you can join in conversations?

On the first page the OP says she has 'mediocre Polish'. Sure, she could probably work on improving it, but it is still rude to use it to exclude her. There are ways of speaking a language that encourage non-Native speakers to join in, and ways that make it quite clear you're not that interested in them.

Ah and also one more vote for those who are highlighting the difference in hospitality. I am Slavic too (not Polish) and while I WOULD treat everyone who comes into my house with equal hospitality - I also WOULDN'T invite someone I don't like just because I am friends with their partner. I'd either see my friend solo or if a married couple and partial invitations weird - only in public places. But that, for example, does not apply to my DH's friends - I am perfectly happy for him to invite whomever he wants regardless of whether they're my cup of tea or not, because I am aware that in his culture things are done differently.

My husband always speaks English on phone to his family and hes from nigeria and even though I am pretty much fluent on the slang and understand 50 percent of his tribal language, he doesn't do it,not just because of respect but it's a courtesy thing also. Half the time I am laughing my head off at what hes saying to his siblings .

I wouldn't like it if a female regardless if she is polish or Nigerian or even English sending silly memes that have nothing to do with him. I would tell her to clear off

It's not flirting, end of

The lady says “I. Can’t take this anymore”
The man says “it will be over soon( not long)
The women’s says “we can all go on holiday after this and go in separate directions”

First of all, OP, as a polish native I can tell you the conversation sounds a 100% innocent. You really wouldnt use the word "slodziak" to a man and it definitely sounds like a reaction to your son's photo.

The meme is also just a meme, nothing flirty. If that's all there was that sounds like a normal platonic conversation.

How good is her English? A lot of my polish friends come across as rude to my boyfriend (who's English) as they barely speak to him. Their English is actually ok but they say that they're shy to speak in English and are worried about being judged. Also, polish people can come across quite rude as they're very direct in the way they speak and behave.

I wouldn't worry about it and would probably write it off as cultural differences, leaving it at that. She probably asks about the mom as the mom is polish too?

Cue a hearty belly laugh from the Polish man.

Well, yep, absolutely, if he wants to!

The point is that it's no idle threat. If it is- don't say it.

If OP does say it... then yes, it does involve watching 'the Polish man' heartily laugh all the way to signing the divorce papers. Bet he'd be literally crying with laughter at that point.

The real point is, it's not just her treating OP like shit on their shoe. If my husband deliberately spoke a language I didn't, with a woman it was QUITE obvious to everyone was deliberately flirting with him and he was encouraging it, then I really truly wouldn't want to stay with him.

This wouldn't be happening if 'The Polish Man' was a husband or partner worth having.

It's about respect and love as much as potential cheating.

A man who plays along with this dynamic, even if he's got not intention at all of cheating and just likes the attention - is a scumbag.

Don't ever stay with someone who watches you be disrespected and laughs. Who takes part in making you feel bad, and is fine with it.

Give him the biggest belly laugh ever OP and walk away from him - he's worthless.

Give him the biggest belly laugh ever OP and walk away from him - he's worthless.

Jesus.. don't listen to this OP. This poster is fucking nuts

Fizzy, I suggest that you get out of the UK if only for a little while and learn a little bit about how people from other cultures interact with one another - who knows, you might even learn something new?

(Ah, sorry, I forgot that a disturbing amount of Britsh people believe that their phlegmatic, double-speaking way of doing things is the One and Only way.)

But the point is - it's not flirting. It looks like flirting to the OP and other posters on the thread, but nothing in the meme or messages or anything that OP wrote about husband's relationship with that woman says the two flirt with each other (to a Polish person).
Cultural differences and all that..

The thing that worries me, is the mama bit.
A child doesn't just call someone mama, with no encouragement, that's weird.
Also, a red flag he deletes her messages.
I'd talk to your dh, tell him what you feel, and say it's up to him if he wants to carry on a friendship with someone who treats you so rudely, and ask how he'll feel when you do the same.

Also, Fizzy

You called a man having a completely innocent exchange within his own culture 'worthless'. This says all I need to know about you - an insular, inward-looking, culturally illiterate arrogant little Englander who believes that foreigners should observe your way of life and your customs on bended knee, or else they're worthless.

And that's me being unusually kind and restrained.

Fizzy, I suggest that you get out of the UK if only for a little while and learn a little bit about how people from other cultures interact with one another - who knows, you might even learn something new?

I'm almost tempted to out myself at that, just to see the look on your face.

Anyway. Perhaps it would help if you - or OP - turned it around.

Imagine OP had a male friend. They speak to each other in a language OP's H doesn't understand, so he has to stand there like a lemon being made a fool of, by his wife as well as her 'friend', when they meet. He is offhand and fairly rude to the H, while plainly flirting with OP. Does OP show some respect to her H, and her marriage (and, you'd say, herself) by putting a stop to this? No. Instead she deletes the messages between them and takes her child to his house without OP there, and the child comes back referring to the friend as 'Dadda X'.

OP, can you imagine yourself doing this?
How little respect and care would you have to have for your H to take part in that dynamic, watch him feel angry and embarrassed, but just carry on enjoying the attention of your 'friend'?
What kind of person do you think it would make you?

That's how your H thinks of you.

Memes have nothing to do with it.

Nor do nationalities, really.

Its not flirting - far from it actually. More “mate talk”

Oh cavabien do shut up! I'd report you, but it's probably more useful for your silly frothing post (super English in tone that, if you ask me...!) to stand so that people on this thread can see you've clearly got an agenda.

It's not about the meme. The meme is unimportant. It's everything else OP has said.

Tch you're a silly wee sausage.

@Chiyo666 Interesting as I have lived and worked with a few Eastern Europeans and none were flirty or as you described. Some were a bit more 'open' in terms of language, but I would describe it more as warm/enthusiastic rather than flirty; lots were also very reserved. Most would find the behaviour described by OP as out of place. Ot clearly is a matter of upbringing rather than nationality.

My upbringing was normal and fine thanks.

Maybe people should try just not thinking about what’s between the legs of their friends. It’s weird.