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AIBU?

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Original poster

Female 'friend' sent this to DH - can anyone translate from Polish?

184 replies

tippingpoint14 · 13/04/2020 05:54

So, my husband has a female friend. Big deal, he has many. I've never had a problem with his female friends. Ever. In fact, I've become friends with all the others. Love them to bits.

Until this one. She's also married and something about her jars with me. Then this popped up on his phone yesterday. He had sent her a picture of our son excited about Easter eggs. She replied with this meme, followed by the word for "sweetie" in Polish with hug emoji.

If someone out there speaks fluent Polish, please translate and let me know AIBU to feel uncomfortable with this woman sending this sort of thing to my husband. Much appreciated.

Female 'friend' sent this to DH - can anyone translate from Polish?
OP posts:
Lexijayde44 · 13/04/2020 06:48

If you don't feel comfortable with it you need to ask him.

That gut feeling usually is right!

flippefloppe · 13/04/2020 06:49

Did your DH show it to you?
Can't you just discuss your concerns with him?

SpeckledyHen · 13/04/2020 06:50

OP start a new thread with something like _
Polish speaker HELP needed.

Original poster
tippingpoint14 · 13/04/2020 06:50

I have discussed my concerns with him. He vehemently denies anything going on.

OP posts:
lonelySam · 13/04/2020 07:25

I am a Polish speaker - the meme says 'we will leave WITH the whole family'. The Google translation is wrong.

BurgerOnTheOrientExpress · 13/04/2020 07:33

If it is innocent, it will hurt you to ponder on it. If it's not innocent It'll hurt you in the future regardless. Give him the benefit of the doubt and forget about it.

Winterlife · 13/04/2020 07:39

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

Slavic languages, and the way Slavs generally speak to one another is more "flowery" than English. My husband sends messages like this to his sister all the time (though in Russian). We both speak Ukrainian and Polish (we each had a Polish grandparent). I suspect these lines are from a movie. I would have no concerns if a woman sent this to my husband.

ChrissieKeller61 · 13/04/2020 07:43

What else has made you suspicious ? I had the phone bill under my nose when my ex was cheating, if i'd have looked at it I would have been 2 years and thousands of pounds better off. Can you access that ?

TryingToBeBold · 13/04/2020 07:45

But your DH has sent an picture of your son..
and she has replied with the polish word for "sweetie"?.
Does that bother you? If it wasn't in Polish that's the exact type of response anyone would have..

TryingToBeBold · 13/04/2020 07:47

Sorry should have added the comment and the hug emoji obviously seems aimed towards the photo that was sent of your son.

But the meme is surely nothing if its circulating on social media as being funny or corona related?

Jojo19834 · 13/04/2020 07:48

My parents have a polish friend who uses the word sweetie all the time, that seems normal to me. Doesn’t mean they all do but hopefully someone will confirm if it’s commonplace

lonelySam · 13/04/2020 07:50

What was the Polish word for 'sweetie'?

Stellamboscha · 13/04/2020 07:50

I think regardless of the precise translation, the more significant thing is that your DH has many friends of whom you are not suspicious but something about this one is different and I would pay heed to that intangible feeling. My DH was similar -loads of female friends -even flirtatious with them but I was not jealous.But one just niggled me and lo and behold a few months later her husband contacted me to tell me they were having a n affair (he had proof) and he was not her first affair 🙁

Shatandfattered · 13/04/2020 07:51

Each In their own direction I would take as a sarcastic joke. Like saying I'll leave the house with the family but we'll all bugger off in different directions on holiday for peace from one another lol. Just my take

TKAAHUARTG · 13/04/2020 07:55

What was the Polish word for 'sweetie'? kotku

Treacletoots · 13/04/2020 07:56

The message in itself, harmless. The fact your 6th sense is triggered, not so much. Keep an eye out.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 13/04/2020 07:58

I have a Polish acquaintance who calls everybody sweetie.

It might correspond to a Polish word that’s used widely.

It’s just a meme OP, a meme in times of corona.

AllTheseThingsThatIHaveNotDone · 13/04/2020 07:59

ukele d'oh! yes, it probably is Gaslight. Which would make more sense if the punchline is the context above.

RomeoLikedCapuletGirls · 13/04/2020 07:59

OP what other things about her bother you? Because the meme in itself is not enough.

ponchek · 13/04/2020 08:01
  • I can't cope with this any more. / I can't do this any more.
  • Hang on, sweetheart. When this is over, we'll go off with the whole family on a long holiday. Each one in their own direction ...

...
That's literal. To make it more English I'd say something like:

  • Omg I can't do this anymore.
  • Hang on in there, baby. When this is all over, we'll shoot straight off for the longest family holiday ... all in opposite directions 😉☺️

...
It doesn't translate particularly well. The joke falls a bit flat in English.

The general sense is that in lockdown, people are being driven up the wall cooped up with their families, and can't wait to get away from them.

I think it's a bit of a subversive response to a pic of your son and his Easter egg. Yes I think sending the image of a classic romantic clinch is flirtatious. I would read it that she's subtly suggesting she can't wait to get away from her husband, and also subliminally inviting him to want to get away from his family too.

It's a bit oblique and odd but the core message is:

Hang on. It'll end and then we can ditch the irksome families.

And her saying sweetie and a hug is just wrong.

What word did she use that you translated as 'sweetie'? Kochanie?

Send me ANYTHING and EVERYTHING as this is my job and life so I can really help you get what's going on, if you like.

AllTheseThingsThatIHaveNotDone · 13/04/2020 08:10

In the context of a response to a pic of his son it might be Hmm but I have been sent all kinds of memes this month, some less sensitive than others

Original poster
tippingpoint14 · 13/04/2020 08:12

That’s nice of you @poncheck. The word was “slodziak”, and it’s was sent after she sent the meme, not directly after my husband sent her the picture of our son.

How you described it is how I took it. Like I said, of all the memes she could send, why one about trying to get away from family?

OP posts:
ponchek · 13/04/2020 08:15

Sorry - saw it was 'kotku', the sweetie word.

Kotku is ok in the much-shared quote, but this woman separately saying kotku to your DH changes it all a bit, to me.

By using it directly to your DH, she's overtly identifying herself as the woman and him as the man. So making it clear it's an invitation to ditch families. And the hug emoji clinches it.

'Kotku' is a bit of a joke term. When people model overtly-loving couples, it's commonly typified by the woman calling the man 'kotku', which is OTT and literally means 'kitten'. It's a possessive and intimate pet name from a woman for her man, and generally marks the guy as absolutely taken. It's a disarming sort of diminutive term of endearment, and some men would kind of react against it. It's almost embarrassingly 'sweet', and as such is used in comedy to flag pussy-whipped husbands who will do whatever their wife requires. It indicates submission on the part of the husband.

So maybe they have a joke about this.

But either way, her saying 'Kotku 🤗' at the end is purely flirtatious/intimate. And makes it clear the roles she's identifying for them both.

Send me the rest.

ponchek · 13/04/2020 08:16

Sorry!!! Just given you a dissertation on 'Kotku' !! 😂☺️

ponchek · 13/04/2020 08:17

So at the end of the meme message, she wrote:

Slodiak 🤗

?