Aibu to think spending £13 a month on this is fine?

[QueenOfHell669]

Hi,
To explain the situation a bit,
My mother was/is quite abusive and I helped my younger sister (16 at the time) move out of home into a flat. I paid for a lot of things for her but also helped her into part time work and some study, she has flourished. 4 nearly 5yrs on I barely have any financial involvement with her, she stands on her own.

Never asks to borrow or have money from me and is very independent. The last tie so to speak is her phone. It’s now sim only as the 2yr contract lapsed and costs me just £13 a month. She had mentioned maybe getting her own contract in a few months to boost her credit file at which point of course I will cancel the contract but the phone itself is paid off now so she can keep that irrespective.

My partner thinks I am babying her and insulting her to continue to pay this £13, he has gone a little far with this in my eyes even suggesting I am being taken for a “mug” I’d appreciate some insights on this. He feels very strongly about this and I don’t get it hence wanting to canvass opinion.

My stance is that I can more than afford it, she’ll buy herself a new phone/contract when she’s ready and it’s only £13 a month added onto a phone bill I already pay (my own). I don’t even see the point in considering creating an awkward situation where my sister may feel bad or like she owes me something when I’m very happy to help her. Who’s being unreasonable?

As A- I can afford it, I could afford much more when she needed that too (though she doesn’t anymore) and B- it’s my money. It’s not his money or even “our” money at this relatively early stage
It will NEVER be 'his' money.....at the most, only the portion you contribute towards household costs/joint account is subject to his opinion/input on how it's spent.

I also out-earn him by about 75% and my housing costs are half his
So his ego/pride is bruised....and he'd begrudge your sister £13 a month to make himself feel better by trying to manipulate/control your decision?!
If you're paying bills proportionately then you're already 'subsidising' his living costs - how does he feel about that?
Does that bruise his pride too? Has he offered to pay more?
Or does he think "well it's only fair?"

Seems like he feels like your money is joint just because you're in a relationship!
Is he aware the move-in is only temporary?
Cos it sounds as though he thinks he's got his feet under the table.

Just as well he has his own place and you can kick him out whenever you've had enough

I wonder what his reaction would be if you said you were leaving your sister X amount of your estate/assets in a will and that she would still inherit from you directly even if you had kids of your own?
You found yourself in a position where you had to take on 'parent' responsibilities for your sibling, that affects you emotionally.
You can't just switch that feeling off and play by someone else's version of 'sibling rules'.

If you can help her out ..why not ? 😊

He is babying you by suggesting you aren’t capable of making this kind of decision.

Tell him to fuck off.

In light of your up date, separate houses, separate finances, separate people. Tell him to sod off, your kid sister is more important. Is he thinking you should be subisdising him rather than her?