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AIBU?

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Original poster

To speak to someone about this? Even though it could end up bad

158 replies

mugoverandover · 12/04/2020 07:18

I've had the worst night of my life, not slept a wink,
I love in a flat where it's 2 up 2 down,
My downstairs neighbour split up with her partner a few month ago from abuse,
I think she's always been a bit of an alcoholic, she rings me most weekends but I ignore the call because she literally just drunk talks for hours. She has 2 children 3 & 14,
Last night she got so drunk she's burnt her gazebo in our shared garden, burnt loads of random rubbish on the grass, all the fire pretty much went out but I couldn't sleep for worry and I looked out of my DS's bedroom window at 6.30am and she was flat out asleep on the pavement in the back garden about half a meter away from a bit of flame still burning, I went down and got her to stand up, put her inside and to bed, her children are asleep but her back door had been absolutely wide open, I locked it and posted the key,
I'm worried for children, but I'm also worried for her,
What do I do?

OP posts:
Dan68 · 12/04/2020 07:20

You have to phone social services. These children are at risk of danger right now. Their mother can’t protect them at this time.

CinnabarRed · 12/04/2020 07:20

Report to social services.

Original poster
mugoverandover · 12/04/2020 07:23

I'm so worried about her children getting taken away and her committing suicide or something as she has mental health issues, but I know it's the right thing to do, I'm going to speak to my next door neighbour this morning and tell her we need to call social services, it is the right thing to do, but I don't want to be the one to do it 😭😭
Another neighbour had a birthday yesterday and they all had a drink in the garden social distancing, one of the neighbours got so drunk she smashed her head off the pavement and I had to call an ambulance as she knocked herself out, I'm still shaky now I'm not used to all this! Luckily that neighbour is in her 40's with one adult DD x

OP posts:
Original poster
mugoverandover · 12/04/2020 07:24

And is fine I should add sorry, ambulance checked her over and she was fine by then x

OP posts:
FrenchBoule · 12/04/2020 07:25

Please call SS. These poor kids 😢

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/04/2020 07:25

You must report this.

Original poster
mugoverandover · 12/04/2020 07:25

I know I feel so sad for them 😭

OP posts:
iano · 12/04/2020 07:27

Op don't discuss with others. Call social services. This is not something you can make someone else's problem. SS need to hear from you what happened. This mother is not keeping her children safe. YOU need to do something to keep them safe.

Original poster
mugoverandover · 12/04/2020 07:29

I took a picture of her, out cold on the floor with for next to her, I was trembling I had to drag her to get her to stand up, now I feel like I've made a mistake by leaving her alone with the children but I know the 14 year old is sensible and can look after his sister if needs be but she was definitely sound asleep, do I ring them right now? How do I even find a number

OP posts:
CheddarGorgeous · 12/04/2020 07:31

Any child of alcoholic parent/s will beg you to intervene. Call social services x

user1480880826 · 12/04/2020 07:32

Don’t try and pass the buck to your neighbour. Phone social services now. Your priority is the children who are currently at risk.

Original poster
mugoverandover · 12/04/2020 07:33

The neighbour I'm talking about discussing with is her actual friend and after last night she will be thinking the exact same thing

OP posts:
PulyaSochsup · 12/04/2020 07:34

Google for the duty social worker, every area has one. Tell them what you know. You could even ask for their email address and send them the photo you took. I don’t think that there’s anything else that you can do in this situation.

SpudsAreLife84 · 12/04/2020 07:35

If you go to your local council website there will be a link to their childrens services department and an out of hours emergency reporting number. They can keep your details anonymous if you want them to,but you must call.

orangejuicer · 12/04/2020 07:35

I googled social services and it brought up info for my area. Try that or nspcc?

ScrapThatThen · 12/04/2020 07:36

They won't take them away. They'll offer help. Try to tell her you were worried for her safety, her kids safety and your kids safety yesterday and that you know it is hard for her but you contacted someone because you won't stand by watching her put herself at risk.

2beautifulbabs · 12/04/2020 07:36

Please call SS those children need support and out of there please OP a 14 year old should never have that kind of responsibility too look after a 3 year old I feel physically sick at that thought and worry about the safety of those poor children please do the right thing for those children not what you think for the mother right now she needs some seriously help and she isn't going to get it if you don't do anything about it just think would you be able to live with yourself if something happened to those children and you knew all along you could have stopped it and helped them please call now

Psychologika · 12/04/2020 07:36

You must call. If anything happened to those children, could you live with yourself?

Original poster
mugoverandover · 12/04/2020 07:38

No that's why I've not slept all night, my eyes are burning I've been petrified, trembling my anxiety going wild, I am going to call them thanks for the advice

OP posts:
FlowerArranger · 12/04/2020 07:39

You must report this to SS. And do it now.

It is highly unlikely that she will lose her children. SS will help and support her if she shows willingness to address her issues.

Ethelfleda · 12/04/2020 07:39

I understand your hesitation, OP. And well done for what you have done for her so far... but you really do need to report. Those children are at risk and something needs to be done to ensure their safety. I feel for the woman, she has is obviously struggling and damaged but I feel for the children more. They need a responsible adult to step in right now and look out for their wellbeing.
Be brave and report Smile

Outtedagain · 12/04/2020 07:41

Call ss, the children need protection, she is incapable of looking after herself let alone children.

Flowersforpowers · 12/04/2020 07:42

Just google your area name and children's services. There will be an out of hours emergency number. You reporting is a good thing, you are taking responsibility for protecting those children. I know a lot of people are scared of social services, but both she and her children seriously need help, and this is the best way to get it. There is no need to discuss it with your neighbour.

ALittleBirdhouse · 12/04/2020 07:55

I would not check with the neighbour who is a friend of hers first. She may try to talk you out of it.

Bringringbring12 · 12/04/2020 08:04

Op
I feel for you.

However your first priority is NOT this woman.
Your first priority is her children.

You need to contact social services the minute they open.

In the meantime, she won’t be parenting them this morning so pop over, offer to take them. Back to yours, breakfast, TV and explain to SS you have taken the children to i your flat whilst the mother sleeps off

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