AIBU - to not want to still be being punished for this a year on?

[Whatsername177]

About 14 months ago, I mistakenly assumed my dd (who was 7, nearly 8) knew there was no such thing as the Easter bunny. We had never really 'done' the Easter bunny. Just egg hunts and chocolate. She seemed non plussed, but then told her cousin who was upset. SIL was furious. I apologised to SIL. I spoke to dd, who told me she had believed in the Easter bunny until I told her it wasnt real. I felt terrible and apologised. Dd was upset, DH was furious with me. I felt awful, ate lots of humble pie. I got it wrong. A few weeks later we had a lovely Easter nonetheless.

Fast forward to this year, dd (now 8, nearly 9) has been crying to dh that she is upset because she now knows the Easter bunny isnt real. She actually said 'I still believe in the Easter bunny, I just know it doesnt visit this house'. DH is once again furious with me. She keeps crying and he keeps telling her it is ok and she can believe if she wants and trying to placate her by repeating how wrong mummy was. She feels very hard done by and I'm getting grumpy face and sad eyes from her.

I feel really pissed off - I have pulled out all of the stops this year to make Easter fun in lockdown. Shes going to have a lovely day tomorrow. We have been talking about the Easter Egg hunt and how exciting it all is. Despite my feelings, I have tried to be very gentle to sort things out and make her feel better - I asked her if she had a nice Easter last year. She said yes. I asked her why - who made it lovely. She said 'you and daddy'. I then said that we would do the same this year because we wanted her to have a lovely time and the only difference is that she knows it is mummy and daddy who make it special. (Even though daddy has F all to do with it). I said it was fine for her to be sad, but she should realise that she isnt going to miss out on anything because mummy has done everything she can to make things special and if she chooses to stay sad she risks missing out on the fun.

Anyway, DH is now even more furious with me. He says we should have come up with an elaborate scheme to 'reignite' her belief and that I've ruined her childhood.

I feel really pissed off. I fucked up a year ago. I am sorry. But I do everything for my kids. I always go a little bit extra for them. I feel like it's unfair to be flogged once again for my one mistake. Dd is 8. I know I can't hold it against her. But dh could be more helpful and less judgy.

AIBU to expect to be forgiven?

@OlaEliza I agree; all sounds ridiculous.

Only child? PFB?

So why does your DD think the shops are full of Easter eggs, if the Easter Bunny is real?

She knows, OP. She knew from around age 6 (she will have had a cynical friend in school whose family never did the whole 'bunny brings you eggs' stuff) but she knows that it's a good way of getting 'stuff' to pretend to believe. Same as Santa - that whole 'I wonder if Father Christmas will bring me a...' whatever they want on that day and watching parents' faces all the time for a clue as to whether they've got it or not.

Kids are manipulative little buggers. Your DH is being ridiculous and feeding her drama, which she is loving. Stop it now and tell BOTH of them to get a grip.

Never got the Easter bunny thing anyway
Not like they lay eggs is it
Easter chicken maybe

Your daughter is far more savvy than she’s getting credit for, she’s manipulating your idiotic H for her own ends. She’s WAY too old for the Easter Bunny and is creating dissent so she gets attention and probably goodies.

You are so not being unreasonable.

She is definitely milking this. She remembers the reaction from last year when she was upset about it - got lots of attention from Dad and had a lovely Easter. She wants to make sure she gets lots of eggs this year and lots of attention too so she is playing up.

He is being a massive dick however.
What's he like the rest of the time because he sounds like a complete and utter manipulative knob?
You've ruined her childhood? FFS - she's nearly 9. I'd hesitate a guess that most 9 year olds don't believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa and Tooth Fairy. I taught Year 3 for many years and judging by the conversations I overheard, they were already starting not to believe at 7 anyway, or at least questioning the entire thing which is the first stage before ceasing to believe.

Ignore all this bullshit from him. Do not engage with him. He can deal with the Easter Bunny and all the rest of it.

I’d boycott Easter to be honest. Life is too short for this!

Any n/t child who believes in the Easter bunny after the age of 4 is an imbecile. If your DD really believed until last year, she clearly has her father's intellect

I’d also be tempted to cook rabbit for Easter lunch (but then I’m horrid and think rabbit is a rather nice meat).

We never even had the Easter bunny my kids never knew of it’s (non) existence this is all too weird

I didn't even think the Easter bunny was a thing. Just a thing for decoration and advertising.... My kids never thought it was real... Or father Christmas for that matter. Why do these fictional characters get the credit for the gifts and special days... Never understood this... But different culture here

I told my 7 year old that the Easter Bunny absolutely doesn't exist. I said that I have never seen such a rabbit, or any evidence of one, and that I have bought the Easter eggs myself.

He refuses to believe me, and has left a carrot outside the back door!!

My mum told me about the Easter bunny and Santa on the same day. I was heartbroken. This was at least 15 years ago now and I still tease her with it

I'm genuinely surprised that any children believe in the Easter bunny! It's not exactly sold to them in the same way as Father Xmas is. If it wasn't for the lockdown (which can be more emotional/stressful for everyone), I'd be telling her to grow up a little and stop going on about it.

I never ‘did the bunny’ with DS because it just wasn’t in my horizon - or anyone I knew for that matter. Is it regional?

Nine is too old for that stuff and I bet she knows it. Personally when I was a kid I didn't want to believe in fairy stories, I wanted the truth, and it was a relief when someone finally admitted what I suspected - that it was all made up.

Bloody hell. DH clearly has Easter bunny issues.

Shrug it off. He’s a wanker.

Your family sound like drama llamas. Tell them all to shut up about it and grow up.

Actually, I've changed my mind. Go along with his elaborate plan. Make him be the one to come up with and implement it. You cannot be trusted not to cock it up, tell him! Ensure that it involves him getting up at the crack of dawn to drawn huge bunny shaped footprints across the garden and to dig a massive burrow in the he middle of your lawn, scatter raisins across the patio, decorate the yard with bunting and fashion himself a bunny costume complete with face paints. Then, post the pictures of him looking like a daft twat on here and give him a good tongue lashing when he fails to convince your DD!

Or make him dress up as the bunny and pray for a really hot day.

@lmcneil003 ah you must the the husband.

Yanbu!
Your spineless knobhead H is!
Easter bunny is something I've only ever played along with to tiny ones. Once past 5/6 my dc knew it was me buying the eggs etc..
They were probably younger than your dd when they found out from friends/each other that Santa wasn't real too.
So you best prepare your dh for that event.

He refuses to believe me, and has left a carrot outside the back door!!

I often leave a packet of Polo Mints in the hope that my DH buys me a horse for my birthday , the swine has never obliged .

I'm assuming that your SIL is your husband's sister and they're both a pair of dickheads?

I mean come on... The easter bunny is not a thing in this country so I'm sure you'd niece has already been told it's not real at school.

What is it with dads not seeming to realise when their daughters are milking something. My husband is the same

I think next time something like this happens, call both of them out on it and say, well it sounds like it's better I'm not involved in X any more, your dad's doing it from now on. Most children clock that it's their mum that primarily makes nice things happen so will probably pipe down.

Your husband and daughter need to catch themselves on .

Ridiculous spoilt behaviour from both of them.

I kind of like @TiddlestheCat's plan! Go and prod him now and say 'so are you getting the egg hunt in the garden ready now, or are you going to get up at dawn and do it then?'

Best put in this pp's words:
I'd be saying to DH, right matey, since you're the one so passionate about maintaining the magic of childhood, you're in bloody charge of it now, go hard.

I would ignore him until he gets over himself though. Including tomorrow. Go out for some government-mandated exercise and leave him to stew.