AIBU - to not want to still be being punished for this a year on?

[Whatsername177]

About 14 months ago, I mistakenly assumed my dd (who was 7, nearly 8) knew there was no such thing as the Easter bunny. We had never really 'done' the Easter bunny. Just egg hunts and chocolate. She seemed non plussed, but then told her cousin who was upset. SIL was furious. I apologised to SIL. I spoke to dd, who told me she had believed in the Easter bunny until I told her it wasnt real. I felt terrible and apologised. Dd was upset, DH was furious with me. I felt awful, ate lots of humble pie. I got it wrong. A few weeks later we had a lovely Easter nonetheless.

Fast forward to this year, dd (now 8, nearly 9) has been crying to dh that she is upset because she now knows the Easter bunny isnt real. She actually said 'I still believe in the Easter bunny, I just know it doesnt visit this house'. DH is once again furious with me. She keeps crying and he keeps telling her it is ok and she can believe if she wants and trying to placate her by repeating how wrong mummy was. She feels very hard done by and I'm getting grumpy face and sad eyes from her.

I feel really pissed off - I have pulled out all of the stops this year to make Easter fun in lockdown. Shes going to have a lovely day tomorrow. We have been talking about the Easter Egg hunt and how exciting it all is. Despite my feelings, I have tried to be very gentle to sort things out and make her feel better - I asked her if she had a nice Easter last year. She said yes. I asked her why - who made it lovely. She said 'you and daddy'. I then said that we would do the same this year because we wanted her to have a lovely time and the only difference is that she knows it is mummy and daddy who make it special. (Even though daddy has F all to do with it). I said it was fine for her to be sad, but she should realise that she isnt going to miss out on anything because mummy has done everything she can to make things special and if she chooses to stay sad she risks missing out on the fun.

Anyway, DH is now even more furious with me. He says we should have come up with an elaborate scheme to 'reignite' her belief and that I've ruined her childhood.

I feel really pissed off. I fucked up a year ago. I am sorry. But I do everything for my kids. I always go a little bit extra for them. I feel like it's unfair to be flogged once again for my one mistake. Dd is 8. I know I can't hold it against her. But dh could be more helpful and less judgy.

AIBU to expect to be forgiven?

Your husband is being a dick. Easter bunny was never a thing but santa and the tooth fairy was. Your daughter is now of age to accept that it's made up. Sorry but that's as blunt as it is.

I've not apologised. Dd was struggling with her emotions over lockdown. I've sorted things with her and she is fine. Dh is now feeling sorry for himself. I'm ignoring him.

OP have a gin, agree with them that you killed the bunny. Stick headphones on and ignore them both. They think you are dreadful anyway, so take a break.
If asked tell them they have ruined your Easter and you are uninterested in further discussion.

I've also had a gin

I’m glad you haven’t apologised. Don’t pander to their nonsense. The Easter bunny was never a thing for my DDs. They seem to have grown up to be well adjusted young women despite it.

Horrible behaviour from her father teaching her to turn on the tears for attention.

Tbh I think you're making a rod for your own back and not helping your daughter at all. How would you react if your friend pulled this on you? Your partner? Your parent? She'll grow up and you're teaching her that sulking and taunting people for every mistake they make works in her favour.
I'd say "fine, if you dont appreciate what I do then I wont do it" shes 8, not 2, she can understand that if you want someone to treat you well then you treat them well.

I don’t even think you had anything to apologise for last year. They are both being ridiculous. Have another gin and take no more of this nonsense

So the two of them gang up usually? Driven by your H.

Because he's the one who is driving this and milking it for all its worth.

Never knew people actually believed in an Easter Bunny either and yes your husband is being an asshole and I would not be happy with him talking about you in that way to your daughter

If dh does nothing to create "the magic" of easter or Christmas or whatever, he doesn't get a say in how you do it.

You apologised and made an effort this year, nothing else needs doing. I agree dd is probably using this as an outlet for isolation.related sadness. Your dh is a fool for not realising this and blaming you for circumstances beyond your control and that he had done nothing to remedy himself.

The whole family needs to get a grip. The easter f*ing bunny, fgs. Why do we teach our children this shit.

Other people should tell their kids less bullshit.
My son told me Santa wasn't real at 5. I never corrected him. Everyone was horrified and kept lying to him about Santa but he would come to me for reassurance that he was right.

You didn't do anything wrong. Your DH should be supporting you.

Your husband is a dick. When one parent drops the ball, the other picks it up and pays their partner in the back. This is because a) you’re a team and b) we try our best but still feel shit about ourselves and need to be reminded we aren’t the worlds worst parent.

He’s a shit parenting team mate. He should have said
Ah op fuck it, it couldn’t go on much longer could it ? You make it so special for her, you’re an amazing mum.

You're dh needs to stop pandering to her. My 6 year old knows that we get the eggs and family I dont even mention the easter bunny. We still do easter crafts and an egg hunt.

I genuinely cant remember ever believing in the easter bunny? Is that even a thing? I remember believing in Santa until I was about 6 but that’s it? Your fella is being ridiculous x

Your husband is a dick and your daughter is 9 & is behaving like a spoilt brat.
I’d be telling her if she doesn’t stop I’ll give her Easter eggs to a child much less fortunate.
Tell your husband the same.
She’s 9- which means she’s more than capable of understanding and being rational.
You’re both pandering to her in a really ridiculous way.

We didn’t have the Easter bunny when I was a child - I only heard of it as an adult. We had loads of Easter eggs and cake etc. but no bunny.

You don't have a DD problem, you have a DH problem. He sounds fucking awful. I can't bear men who won't let their daughters (it's always daughters) grow up: it's creepy.

Does the Easter bunny collect empties, like a milkman? I'd leave him outside tonight, on the off-chance.

It’s not an ‘Americanism’ unless Yorkshire has been annexed by the USA.

Knew someone would bring out the Americanism chestnut.. Happens every time anything not perceived as British comes up

Blimey, so your DH made it 1000 times worse and you’ve been left to deal with the fallout? I’d be leaving all Christmas preparations/presents to him. He can ‘keep up the magic’ and stop taking out his ridiculous drama on you.

Tell them both to stop the nonsense. This is ridiculous behaviour from both your daughter and husband. Clearly your daughter is learning her dramatic behaviour from her dad. Snip this in the bud or you’ll have a very self-centred adult daughter. You have apologised. Time to move on. Stop apologising now. Ruined her childhood? FFS!

You sound like an amazing mum. I agree with the poster who says your DH needs to get a grip.

I asked her why - who made it lovely. She said 'you and daddy'. I then said that we would do the same this year because we wanted her to have a lovely time and the only difference is that she knows it is mummy and daddy who make it special. (Even though daddy has F all to do with it).

Sounds a bit like you just want all the credit for it, to me, tbh.

Your husband is being an utter twat! The Easter bunny is not a big deal & I'm surprised she hasn't had that bubble burst for her in school by now anyway.