Friend saying her (huge) bum is small

[h3av3n]

AIBU to be getting irritated with this and be baffled? She is always saying this to me even though it's HUGE and mine is definitely smaller as she can see... and people always tell her it's big so surely she knows? But she will talk about how it's not big and she needs to start growing it etc (weight training) even though she literally gets comments on it on a regular basis. On one hand maybe she literally can't see how big it is, a lot of women are very critical of their bodies... but to actually say it's small and not big even though she's constantly getting comments on it?!
By the way this isn't a jealousy issue, it just baffles me why she is always saying this to me even though people always say it's big... also the fact mine is definitely smaller but she calls hers small and not big directly to me

🤣🤣🤣🤣

When someone is going on like your friend I think it's best to take it at face value. Don't contradict her, just reply for example "ah wouldn't we all, have you tried this new bum workout/diet/shapewear I've been reading about..."

Just because she wants a bigger bum it's no comment on you. Ideal body shape/weight is so personal.

And if someone is fishing for compliments this shuts them right up.

Big bums have forever been EXTREMELY desirable in the Black communities GLOBALLY

Exactly, and Baby Got Back, the Sir Mix a Lot 'I like big butts' song referenced upthread is Twenty Eight Years Old.

Life's too short.... JEEZ! How old are you? 12?

You call yourself her friend, yet you post on a public forum about her.

Unless you are 12, it doesn't matter whose bum is bigger...in fact, it doesn't even matter if you ARE 12. Let her live her life, and you yours.

Doesn't matter if it's 2020 or 2010 or any other decade, there's different body trends and fixations and frankly, I don't think I ever really gave much attention to what my friends said about their backsides, or any other parts of their bodies. If your friendship is competitive on that level I'd be asking questions about it to be honest. I've seen this with younger cousins a few times. "We're friends because we're considered to be in the same attractiveness level" it's absolute shite.

Harsh question: are you friends because you're genuinely friends and have genuine trusting connections or is it because you think you look good together in selfies? Ask yourself that and the backside issues might solve themselves.

All the best.

Yes luckily white beauty standards are no longer the only images we see. We now see Latino and black standards brought to the fore. I also would argue that J-lo was way ahead of KK. It has been mainstream for way longer than a decade.

I also would argue that J-lo was way ahead of KK. It has been mainstream for way longer than a decade.

I remember a time when you couldn't read an article on Jennifer without a good section of it being about her butt.

Yes, I totally judge my own physique according to whatever body part is currently in fashion in the whole Tits versus Arse debate.

Or wait, no, I don’t, because I have two functioning brain cells.

Why not concentrate on your GCSE work, OP? And maybe spend less time in the vicinity of pervs who keep up a running commentary on female bodies?

Fishing for compliments. Like a thin person saying they are fat. I used to do it when I was young and thin.

Well this might just win oddest thread of the year award. So called friends competing over the size of their arses. And how they hell do you make your arse clap? 🤣

Op, is it lock down, are you bored?

‘Are you baboons?’
Seriously?

I don’t understand the level of pride I’m seeing here in ignorance (real or feigned) of a huge part of Black culture. Do you never leave the suburbs?! Engage with music/film/art created by people who aren’t white and middle class? If you’ve genuinely never been exposed to an alternative aesthetic to your own narrow one, that is NOT something to be proud of!

Honestly, I’m embarrassed for you. Get out in the world a bit more!

Arse-clapping out of windows for frontline workers, every Monday at 8pm.

Non-participation will be judged.

X-Post KnitFast.

As for the race situation, call me out on my own ignorance by all means but I see large bums in as many caucasians and flat black bottoms too? Not that I'm staring at everyone's bottoms you understand. Not in the sticks either, am a Londoner with friends of all backgrounds ??

I get what you are saying @KnitFastDieWarm, but you seriously picked the wrong post to quote. That has absolutely nothing to do with race. It is because baboons do inspect each other’s arses.

Body types that are perceived to be attractive isn’t anything new. It’s bums now, no doubt this will change again.
A look through history of fashion will confirm this.
Tell her to eat cake and chocolate it’s worked a treat in mine 😀

Grow up.

You are kidding, aren't you?

Shallow.

It has been considered attractive in the mainstream to have a big bum for years now

No it hasn't, don't be silly

I don’t understand the level of pride I’m seeing here in ignorance (real or feigned) of a huge part of Black culture

There's a lot of that on here, just look at the shock and horror any time anyone mentions putting rice on their roast dinner, fairly standard in families of Caribbean heritage.

She's just bringing attention to it so you can all say oh no you look amazing.
Next time tell her you noticed it looking a bit flabby.
Ask this questions in the famous bodybuilding forum. You'll get better answers

What a time to be alive.

Is it possible this girl is somewhat embarrassed by the constant attention and is trying to "downplay" the size of her bum as a defence mechanism? I developed a bit of a complex about my breasts when I was a teen because a smaller breasted friend felt the need to constantly joke about mine. She thought she was being complimentary. I was just mortified by the constant attention drawn to a particular part of my body. Just another perspective.

Knit I'm more than happy to watch/listen to black community films/music etc. if there's something that interests me (same with the media of any culture). I have ONCE heard a reference to women's asses. I don't think the topic is as huge a thing as you think unless you're entirely immersed in that culture?