Shamed by vegan friend

[catsarelifetome]

I'm a vegetarian, and I have been since early teens. I know many vegans view vegetarians as hypocrites for still consuming animal products, and I do feel guilty about that. I buy vegan whenever possible, but due to having anaemia and a busy lifestyle it would be very hard and restrictive to adopt a vegan lifestyle 100%.

A friend I hadn't spoken to in a while messaged me to catch up the other day. She is a very strict vegan and we used to have lots of conversations about animal welfare etc. She asked if I have turned vegan yet. I said not quite, but I buy vegan as much as possible. She messaged back shame on you, please think about the poor cows and hens when you next go shopping.

It's played on my mind and I feel guilty. I haven't responded yet

There's your answer, don't respond.

Well you know what they say
How do you know when someone is a vegan?
Don’t worry they will tell you

Not much of a friend, are they.

The obvious, in hindsight, thing to do is to reply 'shame on you for putting a friend down. Nobody is perfect'.

Betcha £1million that she also has flaws that cause others suffering.

Ps I'm a veggie and this stuff plays on my mind. But i don't shame people for it. It's not worth it - they either don't give a shit either way or they do care and feel rotten about it. No good comes of shaming others for this sort of thing in my experience!

Does she think about the working conditions of the people in Chinese factories who made her phone? Pretty hypocritical of her...

Well she sounds like a bully, so shame on her. I would imagine from your post, that you put thought into those products that you do buy from an animal welfare perspective, and I think that’s what most of us can do.
We have evolved as omnivores , so it not the eating that’s the problem, for me, it’s how we treat them.

“Who appointed you as my moral conscience? How dare you be so rude to me?! If that’s the sort of chat I can expect from you, I’d rather not bother.”

How about that? Hand the outrage back to her tenfold. Make it her problem.

She sounds tiresome

I am vegetarian, I have considered going vegan but the multiple diets in my household mean I don't want to add further complications to meal plans. She may judge you for not being vegan but that shows her own flaw. Judgement of others.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. It's impossible to live on this planet without causing harm - we all have to make choices about which we avoid and are unable to do it all.

Shame on your 'friend', more like. This is not how friends treat each other. I wonder if she'd say that to your face in front of other people? I'm sorry.

We eat plant based 90% of the time. Oat milk, soy yogurt etc. But I could never give up eggs in my baking, and we do eat a lot of fish. And if we eat out for an occasion and I don’t fancy the vegan/vegetarian option I feel no guilt in getting something off the main menu, and dairy milk in cocktails or similar.
I’ve a friend who is a vegan and we’ve had discussions about this. But - she also drives a 4 x 4 and regularly before Coronavirus flew abroad, neither of which we do.
Nobody should judge anyone else, just try to do the best for you.

Reply telling her you’ve placed an ancient gypsy curse on her.

Tell her to fuck off as far as she can, and when she thinks she has fucked off as far as fuck will take her, tell her to fuck off a little bit more.

Jesus.

When was the last vegan bashing thread?

I’m glad that we’ve already had someone post How do you know when someone is a vegan? Don’t worry they will tell you.

I can shout bingo already.

I’m not vegan bashing whatsoever...but people who turn everything around to their own political agenda (whatever that may be) so they can shame/bore others about it can take a hike.

This friend was out of order but this thread will turn into all vegans are arseholes.

Yeah - I don't think that this happened OP.

What draws you to that conclusion?

I'm neither vegetarian nor vegan. I'm happy with my lifestyle choices and I respect other people's. It's really not difficult.

@catsarelifetome I agree with the previous posters. You do you. You absolutely do not need to justify your choices to your friends.

She’s not your friend. She’s an evangelical. Anyone that is more interested in converting you to their beliefs than in your health and well-being is an intolerant fanatic, and not your friend.

Besides most vegan substitutes for things like wool and leather are actually more harmful to more animals because they are made of plastic. So her lifestyle isn’t harmless either.

I am not a vegan badger, I would go vegan myself if I wasn't anaemic and there were more vegan products. I understand their values completely.

Just almost everything seems to have egg or milk in it which is why I haven't made the step. I don't drink milk (soya instead) or eggs but I eat things that contain them.

I’m a veggie, I can’t judge anyone for what they eat because mentally, that would put me in a bad place thinking of the animals ☹️

I’m in my late thirties now and go by ‘does this person make me feel good’ and vice versa. If she’s worth keeping as a mate I’d tell her to back off with her put downs, no more about it or she’ll ruin the friendship.

If you’ve had enough of her judging you then just don’t respond. Sounds harsh but from my point of view, life is short and it’s not worth wasting time on shitty people!

I would go vegan myself if I wasn't anaemic and there were more vegan products.

Those are really odd reasons for a veggie not to go vegan. There are masses of vegan products now since it’s gone trendy and you’re no more likely to be anaemic as a vegan than a vegetarian.

It’s totally fine not to be vegan. Just say you don’t want to.

Oops, I meant thinking of the animals in that I still eat cheese etc. I feel guilty for not going vegan 😬

When was the last vegan bashing thread?

I’m glad that we’ve already had someone post How do you know when someone is a vegan? Don’t worry they will tell you

I can shout bingo already

Yep. Me too. So predictable.