Shamed by vegan friend

[catsarelifetome]

I'm a vegetarian, and I have been since early teens. I know many vegans view vegetarians as hypocrites for still consuming animal products, and I do feel guilty about that. I buy vegan whenever possible, but due to having anaemia and a busy lifestyle it would be very hard and restrictive to adopt a vegan lifestyle 100%.

A friend I hadn't spoken to in a while messaged me to catch up the other day. She is a very strict vegan and we used to have lots of conversations about animal welfare etc. She asked if I have turned vegan yet. I said not quite, but I buy vegan as much as possible. She messaged back shame on you, please think about the poor cows and hens when you next go shopping.

It's played on my mind and I feel guilty. I haven't responded yet

I find it hilarious that some posters write that it cannot be true it happened when on every single thread about vegans and vegetarians on MN there will ALWAYS be some vegans who will post exactly what OP says her "friend" wrote to her. Always.

I’d tell them to get stuffed to be honest.

Or play them at their own game and ask if they wore a face mask to prevent any insect being breathed in, or hope that they look carefully when walking in case they step on an ant. What about nits and fleas? And god help them if they have any pets.

She’s not really your “friend”.

It's impossible to have a healthy diet as a vegan

FFS not this again 🙄

She sounds like a right bitch, you'd be better off not contacting her again.

It's your decision as to what you decide to eat. Don't feel guilty. I think the points you make as to why you haven't descended into "veganism" are very valid, the fact is that humans need animal derivatives to stay healthy.

It's bizarre the way vegans seem to think they are on some moral crusade to protect the natural world. Nature decides which animals are herbivores, carnivores and omnivores. Working against nature usually ends with nature winning, as Cnut ably demonstrated.

Even standard magnums don’t melt in heat - full of chemicals!

Tell the condescending bitch to fuck off back to fuckville.

(From a Vegan of over a decade)

It's a personal choice, some people can do it, some people can't, some people want to do it, some people don't.

What you put in your mouth is none of her fucking business. She doesn't sound like a very good friend, OP. You sound very kind.

Most specialists will tell you what causes eating disorders is usually complicated and multi factorial

And in this case the specialists agreed it was those sites. The people on them might not even have been vegan - they were like ‘pro-ana’ sites praising the ever more extreme and condemning innocuous breaches. I think the word is ‘purity spirals’. It wasn’t ‘going vegan’ that caused the problems (they are now vegan/vegetarian) it was the extremist fringe pushing guilt into every food. In order to recover they had to be excluded from the internet and those sites.

Fine be vegan but don’t then act all high and mighty when you fill yourself with processed food as most young vegans do (I know someone who lives on vegan pizza and oreos).

She messaged back shame on you, please think about the poor cows and hens when you next go shopping.

She's not a friend. She's a virtue signalling numpty. Text her back saying "please take your evangelising elsewhere".

Oh do Fuck Off you sanctimonius Twat

^ this is perfect.

Who does she think she is?! Really annoys me when people try to dictate other people's life choices.

This isn't about being vegetarian or vegan, it's about the fact that your 'friend' isn't a friend. She's actually quite nasty.

Tbh i like vegan food but dislike the militant vegan brigade. Tell her to do one..

Just throw it back at her

shame on you, please think about the poor cows and hens when you next go shopping becomes

Shame on you! Try thinking about the people you interact with before you start attacking your friends

Sounds like you actually agree with her, OP. So just do what she says.

Reply back to her - I am a vegetarian, that is MY choice. I would NEVER try to shame a meat eater about their own ethical choices and I don't appreciate your attempt to shame me either. Please think about that!

Well, she's right, despite being sanctimonious. You make yourself feel guilty -- no one else can do it. I have been a vegetarian for almost 30 years and have been considering veganism for maybe the last five, and if someone said that to me I would acknowledge to myself that they weren't wrong.

Whether I wanted to continue to be around someone who had appointed themselves my moral conscience is another matter, however.

Anaemia isn’t an excuse not to be vegan 🙄
I’ve been anaemic for 30 years and manage fine, your green veg is rich in iron, your body doesn’t need milk or eggs.
But well done for your thread to fire up the MN vegan bashers.

You're not going to eat that poor little lamb are you? It should still be skipping around the field We don't eat skipping little lambs.

Not all the vegan products are blame free. The reliance on coconut, almonds, etc. is problematic in some countries. Dairy farming is a tradition in the UK because the conditions here are perfect for it, butter and milk are natural products consumed here for centuries.

You're not going to eat that poor little lamb are you? It should still be skipping around the field
It wouldn't even be there if someone wasn't going to eat it eventually.

I would go vegan myself if I wasn't anaemic

Vegans actually have a slightly lower instance of anaemia than vegetarians as calcium from dairy blocks iron absorption. B12, on the hand....

That being said, she should go and fuck herself for being a sanctimonious arse.

There are a lot of ethical problems associated with veganism too, many of which a vegetarian or a meat-eater who only sources local free range organic produce doesn't face. We all have to weigh up different ethical and financial priorities and take care not to judge others who make different decisions.