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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask for your thoughts on a ‘period box’ for DD

230 replies

MoonBlood · 08/04/2020 09:37

So the time has come for my eldest DD (12) where she’s had her first show of blood overnight. We’ve talked previously about periods and that they will come one day and I mentioned getting her a bettybox when they do which she was enthusiastic about, but I’ve just searched for them online and they seem to be no more? (A bettybox was a box with a few ‘treats’ and a bit of Sanpro for tweens/young teens)

She seems happy enough to talk to me about it albeit a bit on the shy side. She’s had a cuddle and a little chat with me this morning and as I’m not able to get the box as I wanted to I thought about maybe making up a little box myself.

Thoughts were a few hot choc sachets, some paracetamol, a pack of pads, and also a a cloth bag for her to put her underwear into so she’s not embarrassed to put them in the wash and no one else will see them. Maybe some chocolate and a magazine or similar, she’s already got a hot water bottle.

Is it a good idea or is it a bit cringe? It’s one thing to get a parcel delivered with those things but it might be different coming from mum? I considered maybe leaving it in her room/on the bed so she’s not forced into a big talk or anything, it might be seen as a nice little treat or could be utterly mortifying for her! I think she’d like it but wanted to gauge some opinions first please?

OP posts:

gingersausage · 08/04/2020 10:49

What is it with MN and hot chocolate? It’s like it’s some amazing life-giving elixir or something. It’s such a bizarre thing to turn into a treat, especially a 50p sachet. Don’t people just buy a tub to go in the kitchen cupboard?

Shinygoldbauble · 08/04/2020 10:51

I had supplies ready for dd and she knew what to expect. She started her period on a school day and I gave her the option of staying at home but she sensibly chose to go in for an event she was looking forward to. When she came home that evening I gave her a bag with more pads, a body spray, a lip balm and a big bar of chocolate. No fuss really but just a way to mark the start of a new time in her life.

SharonasCorona · 08/04/2020 10:52

Why stop at a tenner theres a pack of always teen going for 80 quid on Amazon...

Sugarfreejelly · 08/04/2020 10:52

I’m surprised that people are so outraged at the thought of giving a 12 year old paracetamol. At that age surely most NT children are responsible enough to manage this? Perhaps I’m wrong but I was given painkillers to keep in my school bag at this age as my periods were very painful right from the start. I knew the dosage and how often I could take it and all was fine.

Cornishmendoitdrekkly · 08/04/2020 10:52

Just read through these with my 23 year old DD. She says periods are a normal part of a woman's life but when she started at 12 she wasn't a woman, but a young girl who did find it life changing especially managing at school and playing lots of sports. She started using tampons at 13 so she could continue her sporting commitments without leaking, which was her main problem.
We suggest a variety of pads from different manufacturers so she can find what fits her best. Sanitary towel bags/nappy sacks. Dark pants especially for school. Baby wipes in a small sealable container. Bag for knickers to go in laundry and a few little treats like her favourite snacks and magazine.

halcyondays · 08/04/2020 10:55

I wouldn’t give a 12 year old a whole packet of paracetamol to take as and when as some of them wouldn’t remember when they’d taken them. One or two for school is a bit different.

HoppingPavlova · 08/04/2020 10:55

I think mine would have thought it was odd. I had open discussions previously and no embarrassment either side but I made it matter of fact, low key not an all singing dancing box that indicates periods must equal hot chocolate and paracetamol. Mine had them for about 12mths before suffering any period pain (and then I got them naprogesic as much better for the job) but I dare say if I had of made a song and dance about discomfort and pain they would have had it from the get go.

The one thing that was really appreciated from the start was really good quality period swimwear.

RedskyAtnight · 08/04/2020 10:57

I'm also confused by the people saying "no" to painkillers. I know it's not an issue at the moment, but in normal times 12 year olds go to school. Would you not let them take painkillers with them?

Parkermumma07 · 08/04/2020 10:57

What a lovely mum you are. Sounds like a lovely idea

maloofhoof · 08/04/2020 10:59

I did similar for my DD when she was 12 in preparation, for her to keep at her dads. Her periods started around a year later. We'd already had a talk about it all. I gave her a variety of pads, disposable bags, paracetamol and various other bits and pieces along with a letter with tips. She's nearly 17 now and she's still got the letter, she says found it helpful.

Interestedwoman · 08/04/2020 10:59

YANBU I think it's a nice idea.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/04/2020 11:01

My dd started this Sunday just gone. She’s almost 12. I’d already bought a pack of day and night teen pads in preparation some time ago. We had talked about period pants some time ago. But I didn’t buy any in case she changed her mind. She didn’t and I’ve ordered some modi body.

She is not someone, who’d like this fuss in advance so I’d never do what you’ve suggested or buy the book. That would make her cringe. I’d be better to have nice things in the cupboard and give it to her at the time. She doesn’t like doing things alone. The pads are in my bedroom. Not her bedroom for example, which is her choice... and I’ve been helping her to change them each time.

Dd did, however, have a lot of pain and I’ve told her we need to sort out painkillers for when she’s out / at school. The rules at dds secondary are one dose allowed with her at all times.

I wouldn’t give your dd paracetamol to keep in the bedroom tbh because of suicide attempts and overdose. Paracetamol are easy to overdose on. As for pain, ibuprofen is more effective but must be taken after a substantial meal to protect the gut.

AnnaC
There have been threads about this.

Heygirlheyboy · 08/04/2020 11:01

Aw op, I have no daughters but your post has really touched my heart. What a lovely relationships you have

Mary8076 · 08/04/2020 11:03

It depends on your daughter personality and the way you present it.
I wouldn't do it as a gift, I would just give her different pads (normal, overnight, organic, regular, thin, thick,...) and some waterproof period pants (the ones as backup to use with pads).

I remember a funny video about that, let me find it... this

VenusTiger · 08/04/2020 11:03

Maybe give her a laundry basket of her own instead, with a lid.

Lauren83 · 08/04/2020 11:05

I think buying her the practical stuff the pads etc is fine but I think the magazine, chocolate and hot chocolate is a bit too much. It may entourage her to think as women we all need to be tucked in bed feeling sorry for ourselves once a month

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/04/2020 11:06

I should have added regarding the one dose at school. If dd were to need additional painkillers, I would be expected to bring them to school. Sharing tablets strictly not allowed and results in detention. All of these rules are in place to protect children from allergic reactions, suicide and overdose, I imagine.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 08/04/2020 11:06

My DD is the same age and we’ve got her some towels ready for when she starts and I’ve shown her my tampons too. She would be embarrassed if I got her something like the box you’re suggesting though...

Floralnomad · 08/04/2020 11:08

It would never have crossed my mind to think my daughter was going to think her brother knowing was an issue , and I don’t think she ever did , after all he grew up knowing I had periods and sanpro was never ‘hidden ‘ away in our house.

ChicCroissant · 08/04/2020 11:08

As you'd talked about the box beforehand and she was keen on it, it sounds like a good idea.

My DD is not allowed to carry medication - even paracetamol - at school, it has to be left with the school nurse.

Wearywithteens · 08/04/2020 11:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

LoisLanyard · 08/04/2020 11:15

Second the Cheeky Wipes suggestion that was made earlier! Period pants are a miracle invention - if i had had them when i was a young teenager i would have loved them.
I think the whole idea of a box is lovely, and i've done it myself. Of course it depends on your relationship with your daughter, but it would take a pretty hardened 12 year not to like being given some hot chocolate with essential items like pads!

MarieQueenofScots · 08/04/2020 11:15

he made it clear that having a period was going to be a part of my life for the next 40 odd years, and the best thing I could do was to not let it stop me getting in the way of anything I wanted to do (in my case sport, swimming, riding my pony etc)

The thing is periods sometimes do get in the way of normal life and it is really important to acknowledge not only that, but that it isn't a failure on behalf of the girl/woman if they can't just get on with things and it does have a massive effect on their life.

RedskyAtnight · 08/04/2020 11:15

It would never have crossed my mind to think my daughter was going to think her brother knowing was an issue

We'd never hidden periods in this house either, but there is a difference between an "announcement" (which the giving of a box containing nice things would be) and it just being a normal thing that happens and you get on with. DD was feeling fragile when she first started and didn't want other people knowing. By her second period she wasn't bothered.

RedRec · 08/04/2020 11:15

This sounds really lovely and thoughtful.

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