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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for your thoughts on a ‘period box’ for DD

230 replies

MoonBlood · 08/04/2020 09:37

So the time has come for my eldest DD (12) where she’s had her first show of blood overnight. We’ve talked previously about periods and that they will come one day and I mentioned getting her a bettybox when they do which she was enthusiastic about, but I’ve just searched for them online and they seem to be no more? (A bettybox was a box with a few ‘treats’ and a bit of Sanpro for tweens/young teens)

She seems happy enough to talk to me about it albeit a bit on the shy side. She’s had a cuddle and a little chat with me this morning and as I’m not able to get the box as I wanted to I thought about maybe making up a little box myself.

Thoughts were a few hot choc sachets, some paracetamol, a pack of pads, and also a a cloth bag for her to put her underwear into so she’s not embarrassed to put them in the wash and no one else will see them. Maybe some chocolate and a magazine or similar, she’s already got a hot water bottle.

Is it a good idea or is it a bit cringe? It’s one thing to get a parcel delivered with those things but it might be different coming from mum? I considered maybe leaving it in her room/on the bed so she’s not forced into a big talk or anything, it might be seen as a nice little treat or could be utterly mortifying for her! I think she’d like it but wanted to gauge some opinions first please?

OP posts:
DefConOne · 08/04/2020 09:50

Charlotteli I’ve bought ModiBodi teen pants and no leaks at all. Pads were a disaster. My DD has Aspergers and is bright but very scatty and disorganised. Period pants have been a game changer. On in the morning and changed after school. Not a single leak and they are very snug so she feels secure.

Choccolottie · 08/04/2020 09:51

I agree with a PP that firstly, I would definitely not be giving a child paracetamol to keep. I also agree that it gives the wrong idea creating an expectation that it will be painful. Just tell her that if she’s in a lot of pain then she should ask for some tablets.

I don’t think period pants are a good idea at that age, I don’t think my girls would wear them

You know your DD and whether she’d like it. I think it’s a bit OTT

Swimslikeamole · 08/04/2020 09:52

It's a brilliant idea, go for it! It will be even nicer because you've made it for her.

HiDuggee · 08/04/2020 09:53

I think a box to keep different brands of pads in so she can get to know a fabourite, some tampons if she goes swimming, maybe some of those andrex wet wipes, some nappy bags. I think that's enough though, she should come to your for paracetamol and chocolate can be in its usual place

FreeKitties · 08/04/2020 09:53

It sounds a bit stereotypical to me- I think we need to move away from periods being seen as the same for every women, and definitely avoid tying womanhood and make-up together, think about the message its sending. If you want to get her a treat then why not make a favourite meal?

And try to avoid sending the message that she should be embarrassed about period blood, messy knickers are a fact of life and not something to be hidden in a special bag.

Charoltteli · 08/04/2020 09:54

@DefConOne I’m glad your daughter gets on well with them!

Glittercandle · 08/04/2020 09:54

Lillets has a teen starter pack which is really handy. I have my girls the starter pack and some black knickers.

RedskyAtnight · 08/04/2020 09:55

My DD would have hated that (she didn't want her period getting any additional attention). It perhaps depends who else is in your household (if DS had seen DD getting chocolate he would have wantd to know why).

DD was advised by the school nurse to keep painkillers in her locker for bad period pains at age 12, but granted that was in response to her actually having bad period pains (of the being sent out of lessons due to almost fainting variety). And having period pains at school is clearly not an issue at the moment :)

SouthsideOwl · 08/04/2020 09:58

I think it's really nice, I would have loved if my mum had done that!
I'd suggest:

Pads - day and night
Tampons - the mini light ones so she could try them out.
Painkiller
A mini hot water bottle w a cute cover
Sweets
The cloth bag idea
Sanitary bags
Femfresh type wipes
A pack of black pants

Whatthebeepisthishelpsporners · 08/04/2020 09:58

Period box is a bit much.
Having said that. When I and my sister started our periods our mum got us a bottle of perfume each, we still get one each year for Xmas of the same brand and fragrance. (Until I discovered J’adore) Every time I smell DKNY Woman I think of my mum and my first period 😂. Maybe do something similar?

LittleMcJiggle · 08/04/2020 09:59

That sounds lovely Smile

Original poster
MoonBlood · 08/04/2020 09:59

Good points about the paracetamol, that's an aspect I hadn’t considered. I don’t want to give her the impression that it will be painful etc. If anything the rest of the content ideas were meant to invoke a feeling of calm/relaxation so that’s fallen a bit wide of the mark Confused

See I kind of thought that making a little care package of sorts was the opposite of making a song and dance, it’s just something for her to have a look through and be a positive aspect to it without any unnecessary confrontation. I probably am overthinking it, my mum never talked about anything like it with me and I was left to navigate it by myself. My friends weren’t always the fount I’d knowledge they thought they were so I had a few disasters. I’m sure I’m not the only one either Grin

OP posts:
Allfednonedead · 08/04/2020 10:00

I gave DSD something like this (about 10 years ago😳). The only other thing I included was a little moon necklace. I hope the message wasn't 'this is scary' or 'keep these hidden' but rather 'how exciting you've reached a milestone'.

Charis1503 · 08/04/2020 10:00

Im against the idea of 'packaging' periods away in secret boxes. Its a normal bodily function.

If this box lives in her room she would have to go and collect sanitary pads from her room and walk to the bathroom with them?! Id have hated that.

  • so long as she knows where pads are kept and knows she can ask for some paracetamol/hot water bottle if she needs that should surfice.

Dishing out hot chocolate and treats is likely to reinforce that its something she had to 'endure'. Id keep it as minimal as possible.

There are a few things that will help her... like others have said.. a small bathroom bin and some little sanitary bags.(incase she is concious of putting them in the bin). And some way of managing leaks on underwear or her bedding. I.e she can learn to strip the bed off and put all the linen in the pillowcase.

Crackerscheesescabbyknees · 08/04/2020 10:01

That's an amazing idea!

LittleMcJiggle · 08/04/2020 10:02

be a positive aspect to it without any unnecessary confrontation

I agree I think it's really nice. Is there anything she really likes that you could pop in there? Something that's not period related but a little treat?

I remember being really upset when I first got mine, I would have loved a little pick me up.

LostInTheWoods1 · 08/04/2020 10:02

I’d have hated this, I started my periods at 12, my mum bought me a packet of pads and I got on with it. We didn’t need to talk, for her to hold me like the world had ended or for me to be presented with some prize box, Jesus.

Just get her some pads and don’t build it up to be some huge thing.

Original poster
MoonBlood · 08/04/2020 10:03

@HiDuggee maybe some of those andrex wet wipes, some nappy bags

Yes I knew there was something else I’d forgotten, the wet tissue wipes I use myself so would def pop a pack of those in if I did it.

OP posts:
diddl · 08/04/2020 10:03

Idk.

It's stuff she's going to need anyway so presenting it as a gift seems a bit odd to me.

Look online together to see what's available & what she wants to try?

Buy treats anyway!

Femfresh wipes??-why?

Crystal87 · 08/04/2020 10:03

I think you are maybe overthinking it a little, though it is a nice idea. I think a few little treats such as chocolate and a magazine would go down well, as well as making sure she's got enough pads/ tampons and painkillers if she needs them without having to make it into a package and making it into a big deal.

Stet · 08/04/2020 10:03

I think it's lovely and you'll know if your DD will like it! And yes, look into period pants. I would have loved those as a teenager as I was terrified of using tampons and also scared of pads leaking.

Theuselessone · 08/04/2020 10:03

I think it's lovely. Absolutely go for it. It's a little gesture and even if she does cringe in the moment (teenage girl) the message will be loud and clear that it's nothing to be ashamed about, her mum will look after her and is here if she ever needs to talk while giving her the independence to manage it herself. So lovely

Notnownotneverever · 08/04/2020 10:04

Well as your DD sounded keen then I would say ignore any negative posts on here and do it. It’s about her and she sounded happy about it.
I would add a bar of chocolate or a treat she loves and a small black make up/wash bag for her to put her pads in when she goes out/in her school bag.

Original poster
MoonBlood · 08/04/2020 10:05

If this box lives in her room she would have to go and collect sanitary pads from her room and walk to the bathroom with them?! Id have hated that.

Oh no that’s not quite I mean, I’ve already told her where they’re kept in the bathroom and to help herself. I just meant to include some that are just hers, she can keep them wherever she likes

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 08/04/2020 10:06

I think getting it and putting it in her room is a great idea.

I think teens forget that we understand and have periods ourselves!

This says all that