to ask for your thoughts on a ‘period box’ for DD

[MoonBlood]

So the time has come for my eldest DD (12) where she’s had her first show of blood overnight. We’ve talked previously about periods and that they will come one day and I mentioned getting her a bettybox when they do which she was enthusiastic about, but I’ve just searched for them online and they seem to be no more? (A bettybox was a box with a few ‘treats’ and a bit of Sanpro for tweens/young teens)

She seems happy enough to talk to me about it albeit a bit on the shy side. She’s had a cuddle and a little chat with me this morning and as I’m not able to get the box as I wanted to I thought about maybe making up a little box myself.

Thoughts were a few hot choc sachets, some paracetamol, a pack of pads, and also a a cloth bag for her to put her underwear into so she’s not embarrassed to put them in the wash and no one else will see them. Maybe some chocolate and a magazine or similar, she’s already got a hot water bottle.

Is it a good idea or is it a bit cringe? It’s one thing to get a parcel delivered with those things but it might be different coming from mum? I considered maybe leaving it in her room/on the bed so she’s not forced into a big talk or anything, it might be seen as a nice little treat or could be utterly mortifying for her! I think she’d like it but wanted to gauge some opinions first please?

Bloody Marvellous is a Cotswolds company that does period boxes and has stuff specifically geared to younger girls as well. Disclaimer - I have no financial or other interest in the company - just heard from another mum that they're good! bloody-marvellous.com

I think it’s sending the wrong message and I do object to the suggestion that she should be ‘embarrassed’ about soiled pants - she shouldn’t be and giving her a bag to put them in seems to perhaps be sending the wrong message. We talk very openly about periods in our house to ensure they are completely normalised and this includes being super open husband / dad and her teenage brother.

Cringe. Just sanpro should be fine.

I think a bag for soiled underwear is very useful for school.

In her locker at school DD has a spare “pack” of a pair of knickers, small bag to bring soiled pants home and a load of spare san pro.

Then daily she takes her San pro from home in another small purse in her school bag (which also has spare knickers, bag etc)

I think it sounds lovely. One thing I plan to do when it's DD's time is to leave plenty of sanpro and flushable wipes next to the toilets (we have one toilet downstairs and one upstairs) in a little box in the cupboards there, in case she is caught out in the downstairs loo. Flushable wipes are not great for all the time but if there's been a bit of a mess/leak then it's easier to use those to clean up rather than tissue paper.

God no, I wouldn't, sounds like a celebration of her starting her period - cringe. She knows she can come to you, just buy her a few different pads to try and ask her what she prefers. What's the assumption that period requires chocolate?. Not for me I'm afraid.

Lovely idea

I just asked my 12 year old dd, who started her period about 8 months ago, what she thought. She said super cringe...

Maybe some bath bombs too! I think it's really nice and it's the sort of thing my mum did. I remember when I had my first one- she gave me a huge bar of chocolate and a Cosmo girl mag. Never forgot it.

Idk, like you've said she was on board for the box you were going to buy so she might like the box you're thinking of making. I absolutely love my mum to bits, she's my best friend but when it came to periods she bought me some pads and that was it. Not much of a discussion or anything, learnt from friends and in YR 7 in school we had a talk. I didn't even realise until YR6 that a period was your womb lining/un- fertilised egg. I had no idea until a friend told me. Just met her know she can talk to you and you will answer any questions she has. Make her aware everyone experiences them differently. I remember in YR10/11 English we were studying a book with a teenage girl grimacing with a hot water bottle during her period. Our female teacher turned and said "silly girl, there's no need for all that". Hopefulky we've moved on from that! I think a bag is a good idea for her underwear, tell her there's nothing to embarrassed about but that you want her to feel comfortable, especially if she has brothers. I would probably put a selection on pads in the bathroom and buy her a magazine/book on your next shopping visit.

So let me get this straight.

Because periods are totally normal, teens aren’t allowed to feel embarrassed. We’re shouldn’t give them tools to alleviate this embarrassment like a small bag to keep soiled underwear in because of this. Because we need to normalise periods at the expense of our children’s potential feelings.

Despite teens being able to rationally just ‘not be embarrassed’ we aren’t to trust them when we say that sometimes periods can cause pain, so here’s some paracetamol if you need it. We have to make sure that she’s clear that not all women have pain, but if you do, come to me and I’ll dole out some painkillers.

I wasn’t taking OP’s suggestion as some sort of fancy box with all this stuff in, more a handy place to keep it all together. ‘Here you to daughter, you might need these. I’m always here to talk if you need me, equally I’ll completely ignore this if you want me to’.

My mum dealt with me getting my period very matter of factly. But I was embarrassed. Why? Can’t really say. But I was. I’m not now btw. But it didn’t help that I felt like I couldn’t deal with my period stuff with discretion - it was secret or out in the open, no middle ground.

Here's the box my friend ordered for her daughter. bloody-marvellous.com/product/perfect-period-kitge/

I think it’s sending the wrong message and I do object to the suggestion that she should be ‘embarrassed’ about soiled pants - she shouldn’t be and giving her a bag to put them in seems to perhaps be sending the wrong message.

Periods aren’t embarrassing, no. I would openly talk about or mention that I was on my period with friends - I would also happily tell them that I’d had a leak but that doesn’t mean I would happily flaunt a pair of bloodstained knickers in front of them... I don’t see anything shame inducing about having a bag for dirty clothes

I agree Terrorwig! I'm an adult and I still wouldn't like the idea of just leaving my soiled underwear for all to see. I don't care if it's normal or not.

The OPs daughter is a child, she probably will feel embarrassed and nervous no matter what anyone says. I don't see any problems in trying to alleviate that and give her a little treat too!

I think drawstring bag for soiled knickers might be a good idea if you have a big laundry basket for everything, it’s just to separate them from white t-shirts, etc.
I’m not fan of boxes but it depends on your child. I’ve just sat and talked with my DD through practical issues: where to put stuff at home and when going out, where to put used ones, etc but she’s has additional needs and started at primary. She usually puts soiled knickers or nightdress into small bowl in the bathroom and fills it with cold water. She doesn’t have time for anything else in the morning and it makes washing easier but she’s the only child so no one asks any questions, tbh I do the same with my knickers.

We’re shouldn’t give them tools to alleviate this embarrassment like a small bag to keep soiled underwear in because of this.

Did someone say we shouldn't give them the tools to deal with periods? A way of dealing with soiled underwear has nothing to do with embarrassment and everythingto do with practicality.

I absolutely love my mum to bits, she's my best friend but when it came to periods she bought me some pads and that was it. Not much of a discussion or anything, learnt from friends and in YR 7 in school we had a talk. I didn't even realise until YR6 that a period was your womb lining/un- fertilised egg. I had no idea until a friend told me

Yy

I was 16 so thankfully aware if what it all was through science class and the hygiene lecture in high school. Although I'd seen stuff on the shelves in the supermarket I would have had no idea really what to do with it. If I had been younger Only discovered tampons really cos of the freebies they gave u.

Wish this much thought had gone in it for me.

All these people who seem happy just to have a pack of towels thrown at the kid and be done with it... that's not even really providing the basics is it. What about leaving the house etc staying over at grandparents. It's fine if they haven't started and it's just there on standby but once they need it they need more than just a packet in the cupboard

If you want to do it then do it,my Dd would have loved it,I maybe wouldn't use the bag but then we are an all female house.

Posters are just suggesting skipping items such as hot chocolate, chocolate, “hamper”, magazines etc. Why are some posters assuming that this equates to offering no practical information and help?

There's this www.allsubscriptionboxes.co.uk/pink-parcel/ but it's luxury skincare, etc. Looks a bit like glossybox but with tampons.

Urgh.

@SoupDragon yes I know that. That’s what my entire post was about - not the selection you decided to cut and paste.

OiyeaOiyea
Here's the box my friend ordered for her daughter.

Actually that box is a good idea - a selection of products including tampons. She might prefer tampons - I certainly did at 13.

Please do cloth sanpro.

Period pants and washable pads.

If girls and women start using them from the off they will be normal.

I made sure DD got a decent supply of a range of sanpro and got her a little present to cheer her up and to celebrate reaching a life milestone. It was a pair of star earrings small enough for her to wear at school.

One other thing I did do was give her leeway in how she wanted to handle things. It was her choice whether she used pads or tampons or a mix of both, and whether she decided to stay active or rest a bit during her early periods. Resuables weren't as big a thing then but I certainly wouldn't have pushed them on her.

I know I would have been mortified at being given a dirty knicker bag. My own mum was pretty good about mine when I started and told me I could chuck stained knickers away if that's what I needed to do.