To send a text to neighbour about her early morning phone chats

[VaukaPinvhin]

My neighbour in the flat below is chatting on the phone most mornings between 6.30am - 8 am. There is bugger all insulation in the building and I can hear every word . I have mild hearing loss so it’s not like I’m highly sensitive to noise. I’ve been woken up between 6.30 -7.45 every morning this week. Ok a quick call but not a long bloody chat.

AIBU to send her a text and ask if she can go into the other room or wait till after 8 am? She isn’t a bad neighbour - no loud music, visitors gone by 11pm etc. But at the moment when we are all stuck in she is doing my head in.

Reading all this, I thank my lucky stars that we live in a detached bungalow without immediate neighbours. I’m always up at about 5.30am - years as a surgical theatre sister with 7am starts tends to impact on your body clock 😁 but I’m usually pretty quiet. My husband will still be in bed for a start, but I open the back door for my dogs and if some pesky fox, local badger or somebody’s dratted cat has the cheek to enter the garden, they will bark. I call them straight in because I don’t want them to disturb people.

@Peppafrig Yes, you obviously can't go to the toilet, how awful

If you read the rest of my comment, you'll see that I answered your question already.

My friend she hears her neighbour fart in the bathroom....

Definitely say something. If someone said this to me I’d just move into another room. I feel your pain OP. I live in an old flat in Spain with paperthin walls and have arsehole neighbours on one side. Unfortunately the side we sleep on. We’ve had many problems with them having screaming arguments at 3.30am, TV blaring until 4/5am sometimes. Even on a good night they are talking loudly, laughing, screeching until around 12.30am. It’s a mother and her daughter, not a loud group of guys flat-sharing. They don’t work, so this is going on during lockdown and at other times. It’s very stressful. Tried talking to them, but they are selfish arseholes who don’t care because they can sleep all day. Their answer was ‘if you don’t like it then move to the countryside’. Hopefully your neighbour will be more considerate.

expat that’s awful. It’s so grim when people actually just don’t give a shit. My neighbour isn’t that bad. She is just doesn’t think. Last night she had a friend over and they watched a film. Lockdown isn’t a serious thing either for her. I hope she doesn’t have her nephew for a Friday sleepover again tonight. The ‘if you don’t like it, move’ argument is annoying. If people could move, no doubt they would as no one voluntarily lives next to people who drive them crazy. My flat is HA. I’m very grateful for it but I can’t move. The only time I’ll be leaving is if I need one of the HA’s sheltered flats or In a box.

‘Lincolnfield’ you sound like a quiet person. My neighbour isn’t. Thankfully the other two guys in the block are very quiet. The guy opposite me I never hear and our bedrooms adjoin. He is super quiet and very considerate. The other guy I only hear when his footie team score. The layout of the flat underneath combined with the fact that my neighbour has a loud voice and stomps instead of walks, means I can hear a lot. My adjoining neighbour knows neighbours friend and friend jokingly said how loud she was. So it’s not just that I think she’s loud,

She may be loud because she is a bit deaf and can't hear how loud she does things. Thank God I don't live above or below those of you who think she should be able to do exactly as she likes whenever she likes because it's her home. It must be hell living near you.

Aglet she could be a bit hard of hearing. I had a hearing test at Boots back in Jan and was told I had mild hearing loss. It’s clearly very mild as I can still hear my neighbour on the phone and walking about.

I’ve never lived anywhere with such thin walls . But the fact that I can hear nothing from the other 2 tenants even though one of them has their bedroom joining mine, seems to suggest that noisy neighbour is indeed on the loud side. I woke at 7.30 today so either she didn’t make a call or I was so shattered I slept through it. But I will ask if she’s ok and whether she can make the call in the living room if she can.

I think it's OK to say something - it depends how you do it.

You could say something like "You're a good neighbour and I don't want to upset you or cause bad feeling between us but did you realise that the sound insulation is quite poor here and ................................ . I'd be ever so grateful if you could call from another room.

I think you should speak to her directly though. Texts can so easily be misinterpreted because the other person can't see the expression on your face - so your polite request might be perceived as an angry complaint.