To send a text to neighbour about her early morning phone chats

[VaukaPinvhin]

My neighbour in the flat below is chatting on the phone most mornings between 6.30am - 8 am. There is bugger all insulation in the building and I can hear every word . I have mild hearing loss so it’s not like I’m highly sensitive to noise. I’ve been woken up between 6.30 -7.45 every morning this week. Ok a quick call but not a long bloody chat.

AIBU to send her a text and ask if she can go into the other room or wait till after 8 am? She isn’t a bad neighbour - no loud music, visitors gone by 11pm etc. But at the moment when we are all stuck in she is doing my head in.

earplugs- quies wax ones are amazing!

This makes me feel a bit sad. Those chats might be the only thing that's keeping her going right now.

Remember 'be kind'?

We're all living in very strange times and I do feel we should all keep moaning at neighbours to an absolute minimum. If it was me I'd take myself into another room with a book and let her get on with her chat. You've said she isn't usually a bad neighbour.

At 6.30, it is not acceptable.

Some of you are insane.

@RedRedScab And OPs sleep and peace and quiet might be the only thing keeping her going.

The be kind nonsense isn't just for the chatty people you know.

If someone was waking me up at 6.30 every morning, I'd be complaining too.

I'd mention it but ONLY cos I'd like to know if my phone calls can be heard by others

LoveIsLovely it’s not insane. People live by different schedules.

Some of you are insane.

What, because some people have a different schedule to you? Yes, that makes everyone else who doesn't carry out their lives to the same tune as you do 'insane'.

I have colleagues who have to make calls in the middle of the night to different time zones. You can't ask people to stop speaking or working or chatting in their own homes. Using noisy electrical equipment or playing music, yes, but if a baby cries at 2am, it cries, it's not possible to live and have no noise at all from 11-7am.

Your sound-proofing is non-existent, you have to wear ear plugs and clean them (and your ears) regularly.

Unless you never wee yourself after 11pm!

Maybe she's speaking to someone on the other side of the globe (time difference) and has scheduled her daily chats to that time - could you politely let her know you can hear every word and that she should know that her calls aren't private?

Sorry but she is built to a very loud design I love that expression!!!

I would tell her in just a 'oh by the way', way - if she carries on then nothing lost

And OPs sleep and peace and quiet might be the only thing keeping her going If this is the case, then white noise or ear plugs are the way to go. You cannot control if other people work shifts, have to shut the front door, need to get up and use the bathroom, work etc.

My neighbour was convinced I was typing all night to annoy her, I wasn't, I think it was her central heating tapping, but even if I had been typing on a quiet laptop, I'm allowed to do that in my own home.

And OPs sleep and peace and quiet might be the only thing keeping her going.

It's hardly the middle of the night is it? It's only reasonable that we all compromise at the moment, otherwise this horrible situation is just made worse. My neighbours got drunk and played guitars until 2am the other night but it didn't occur to me to moan at them because they're usually considerate and evidently needed to let off steam/ de-stress.

Also, how does the OP know her neighbour isn't Skyping a relative who lives in a different time zone? We're not all lucky enough to be isolating with our nearest and dearest.

Yabu, if she's got family down under and is keeping in touch then she will be making early morning calls.

I have a fan in my room and it's like white noise and blocks out other noises! I can now sleep through my boyfriend getting ready and doing to work. Although I do wake up if my body is naturally ready to wake up. Otherwise I'm still in a coma! Just a suggestion!

I hear you! I live in a row of terraces, the walls are thin too. I am always telling DD and DS to be quiet. One of the neighbours likes the radio on very loud which is annoying, but it's not all the time so I try to bite my tongue over it.

The neighbour may not realise OP is being disturbed.

The neighbour may think ‘if I was disturbing my neighbours they would mention it’.

A neighbour, with whom you are on good terms, politely asking you to have your call in another room or a bit later if possible is not unreasonable and should not be affecting anyone’s mental health

OP sounds completely reasonable here, and the neighbour isn’t doing anything wrong either. They just need to communicate in a friendly way to try and resolve this.

‘Be kind’ doesn’t mean ‘be a doormat’ any more than it means ‘don’t make any noise in your own home’.

She can probably hear you as well.

Buy some earplugs and stop being a twat.

You literally could be talking to my neighbour, except about the 6.30am thing- she is never up that early. I can hear every single word she is saying, she is THAT loud. She has her music loud too, but says she can only just hear it. I reckon she has impaired hearing but when I broached it she laughed. She had also been carrying on as normal, having friends and family round, they’ve all been in and out of her flat over the past week, sitting outside close together as though there’s no risk at all.

I think you should take a different tack and text her that you feel really awkard but now you are no longer at work at 6.30am you can hear the phone conversations she is having in bed at this time. She might have a think and not be sure if she has said anything embarrassing - might make her think twice about doing it again?

Just a quick text, not saying please move rooms but just to let her know she's being overheard - from a position of wanting her to know her privacy is affected - how could anyone take offence at that?

And if she doesn't care, then a white noise app on your phone might be good. Uses much less electricity than a fan, and you can select different 'colours' according to what works for you best.

I'm with you on the ear plugs - can't even use noise-cancelling earphones, just all too much wrongness...

Every flat I've lived in you can make noise except building noise between 7am and 11pm so you can complain to her but if she was like me dead on 7am I would be making the phone calls.

6.30 is ridiculously early.

Have you texted her yet?

How would you cope if a neighbour had a baby or toddler if you can’t cope with someone having a phone conversation at 6:30 am? She isn’t being unreasonable unless she’s shouting down the phone Dom Joly style.

I sympathise and can't stand noise either but as she is a good neighbour I would be loathe to make anything of this. The most I would do would be to text her in very friendly terms just to let her know her conversations aren't private (possibly due to the absence of any exterior noise at the moment) and let her take the hint rather than directly asking her to pipe down!

Umnoway babies don’t have any choice but to cry. My neighbour has a choice not to chat loudly under my bedroom at 6.30 am.