Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think if you're healthy you should give up your delivery slots

460 replies

Sarah510 · 06/04/2020 11:09

Just thinking it's not really fair if you're healthy, and have a car, to use delivery slots from the supermarket. If you're healthy I think you should just go to the shop… It was different when we were all working and had no time etc etc, but most of us are wfh now and no reason we cant do a trip to the supermarket. Would help sick people and key workers etc by freeing up delivery spots.

OP posts:
drunkyhumptydumpty · 09/04/2020 12:03

Well I am not willing to take risks for my children for the benefit of complete strangers.

MamaBearLockdown · 09/04/2020 12:16

I prefer having helpful friends and neighbours who share their shopping whilst minimising unnecessary outings.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 12:47

Well I am not willing to take risks for my children for the benefit of complete strangers

Me neither. But if that means I can't be friends with the fun sponges then I'll live.

Seriously this pandemic is a wet dream for the busybodies of the world isn't it. What will they stick their beaks in when it's over?!

MarginalGain · 09/04/2020 13:06

Seriously this pandemic is a wet dream for the busybodies of the world isn't it. What will they stick their beaks in when it's over?!

OMG I just had a look at NextDoor this morning. They are absolutely melting down, posting pictures of mothers breastfeeding babies on park benches (?) and demanding 25 metres of space (according to some new study).

The world has gone mad, and I really miss the old one.

1981m · 09/04/2020 13:59

Mamabear- I agree with you. Some people on here sound much more unpleasant than those who have used delivery services without needling to.

One of my friends has a weekly delivery she has paid for as a loyal customer. When she said that on a WhatsApp group no one told her she was selfish and had a go. I thought lucky you.

I think asking anyone to put themselves or their family at risk for a complete stranger is unreasonable. People are unlikely to do it and I wonder if the role was reserved you would think it's ok to give up a spot for someone else.

I know I not selfish, there are lots of selfless things I do. I have done two this week alone. I am not willing to risk my family's health- full stop.

Marieo · 09/04/2020 14:12

Each to their own, for some people those strangers are vulnerable people who can't get any shopping. I am sure in a group of healthy adults there isn't much envy and moaning about someone having a slot, to those who this is causing massive issues for it would be more so. Anyway, whatever, probably when this is over those 'fun sponges' will continue to give a shit about other people.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 14:17

@MarginalGain haha I joined NextDoor specifically for lockdown and I can only deduce that my neighbours are bat shit crazy

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 14:21

@Marieo I have delivered shopping to strangers (relatives who live away pleading on FB) and also gave my spare calpol to a woman with a sick child who I didn't know but asked on FB local group where she could get some from. Fuck off painting those of us with delivery slots as selfish, do you actually think I am selfish for not taking my asthmatic child into a supermarket?!

Carbosug · 09/04/2020 14:47

This thread is actually an interesting insight into the way selfish people will find endless ways to excuse their behaviour. Now anyone who thinks delivery slots should be mainly available to those in real need are 'fun sponges.'??

How do you work that out?

1981m · 09/04/2020 14:49

Yes, we are not selfish, we are looking after our families like anyone would. Each time I have had a click and collect I have asked neighbours if they want anything (they haven't)

I think about others all the time, generally people can put themselves first in certain situations without being fully selfish. I do lots of selfless things. I have delivered shopping to a friend because they are self isolating, offered them same to another one. I helped out at the local food bank before this kicked off. I donated items to women's aid including valuable things that are hard to find in shops. It's not as black and white as that to say people are fully selfish because they are getting deliveries unnecessarily.

Plus, I don't think a vulnerable person would necessarily get my slot anyway. I am in the everyone else layer of online shopping. But if I was asked to give my slot up for x because of y then I would.

Carbosug · 09/04/2020 14:50

Thanks @molington

MamaBearLockdown · 09/04/2020 14:58

Now anyone who thinks delivery slots should be mainly available to those in real need are 'fun sponges.'??

define in real need...

I haven't seen anyone bragging they have delivery slots they don't actually need.

nellythenarwhal · 09/04/2020 15:20

Some supermarkets are only delivering to the elderly and vulnerable so the lack of slots at those supermarkets are not due to the "healthy"
I've not seen any posts on MN accusing people using those companies of being selfish and hogging slots. Perhaps it's because most people aren't ordering too often?

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 15:38

@Carbosug don't you think having an asthmatic child is a good excuse to good a food shop in?

Yes fun sponge - because a PP seemingly only befriends people with morals that apparently match her own rather than accepting that people will do what's best for them and their family

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 15:39

*not get, not good a 🙄

Rhinosaurus · 10/04/2020 00:30

I’ve had a delivery pass with Asda for four years, I have a recurring delivery slot - same time same day every week and have done for at least 2 years. Why should I give up my delivery slot which I pay for via the delivery pass? Me and my partner are both key workers and working full time, the people who are not working/on furlough and have no risky health conditions have much more time to go to the supermarket than us. I also ask two elderly neighbours every week if they want me to add anything to my shop for them. Why should I give up my recurring delivery slot that I’ve had for years? Who’s to say it would go to someone elderly / vulnerable anyway?

Carbosug · 10/04/2020 08:12

No they're not bragging, they're justifying @MamaBearOnLockdown
Why do you need a definition of real need?

WobblyAllOver · 10/04/2020 08:43

Why do you need a definition of real need?

It comes back to the issue that one persons definition of need is different to another persons.

Also how do you judge 'need' in terms of one person being more worthy of a general slot than another person because after all we are talking about the general slots available to everyone that is not on the government shielded list.

I think that person was asking for your definition of 'needs' because I suspect any one persons list of who is more needy of a slot than someone else could be disputed by others who have a different definition.

This is why it is a judgement call on the individual and their circumstances to decide whether there is a risk of shopping in person rather than trying to get a delivery slot rather than one persons definition.

Stefoscope · 10/04/2020 08:59

@Marieo, almost everyone will have someone vulnerable in their lives. If you were able to get a delivery slot, would you cancel it on the off chance it went to someone more vulnerble or would you take it to protect yourself and your own household?

Carbosug · 10/04/2020 13:29

There is no definitive list. But just not wanting to go to the supermarket in the current circumstances, while understandable, does not put you in a vulnerable or special need category. If there were enough slots for everyone then that would be a perfectly valid reason to take one.
When people on sites like this are posting about sick and elderly relatives being unable to get a delivery, and Tesco are pleading on their site for people to only request a delivery if they really really need to, it doesn't take much intelligence to decide if you have a need.

Broadly speaking if you're elderly, vulnerable, have a household member who's vulnerable, are ill or quarantined, or are physical unable to go to the supermarket through lack of transport, nature of your work, disability, young children banned and only one adult in the household etc then that's inneed6. But obviously that's not an exhaustive list.

Stefoscope · 10/04/2020 20:23

Broadly speaking if you're elderly, vulnerable, have a household member who's vulnerable, are ill or quarantined, or are physical unable to go to the supermarket through lack of transport, nature of your work, disability, young children banned and only one adult in the household etc then that's inneed6. But obviously that's not an exhaustive list.

That covers most of society then! The point is most people want to try to do the right thing and ensure the most vulnerable and isolated are taken care of. The current system offers no way of knowing what the demand is in your local area and whether it's being met. Hypothetically if there are available slots and all those in need have been taken care of, then yes it makes sense to take the slot. It would be more selfish to make an unecessary trip to the supermarket (it's a moot point in my case as there are no slots).

Bashing people, jumping to conclusions, and labelling them selfish without knowing their circumstances, is doing more to divide society rather than encouraging people to check in on their neighbours. Ultimately, this is will save more lives rather than relying on the Government and the supermarkets to devise an effective system. For what it's worth, my Mum is in the at risk group, doesn't drive and lives on her own 60 miles away from me in a rural village with one small supermarket and a population of over 3000. She's also struggling to get a slot and is trying to help a number of relatives and friends who are shielded. It's never occured to either of us to blame individuals for taking slots that are advertised as being available.

Sandybval · 10/04/2020 20:29

Luckily supermarkets seem to be getting their act together in prioritising anyway, if anyone then gets a slot that's "left" fair play.

Carbosug · 10/04/2020 20:32

How on earth does that cover most of society.?
Anyhow we could argue this over and over. I think taking a slot if you and your household are healthy and able to go to a supermarket is selfish.
You think it's okay.

BelfryBat · 10/04/2020 20:32

I was briefly in the shielding group and got a Sainsbury's delivery slot, but after a phone convo with my doctor, she advised me that I don't need to shield. I therefore cancelled the delivery slot. I haven't got a car, and don't feel comfortable using public transport at the moment, so I will be carrying my groceries home for the foreseeable. I wouldn't feel right getting stuff delivered when there are people who need this more than I do.

Poppiesway1 · 10/04/2020 20:35

@Rhinosaurus I’m the same! Still working frontline full time (plus more) for NHS. Single parent (with a crap ex whose not asked how the dc are once during this pandemic). I’ve had an ASDA Delivery pass for years with the same slot. I don’t want to have queuing up and shopping to my solitary day off at the moment. Plus the NHS time slots they offer in store clash with my work hours so can’t do them either!