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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think if you're healthy you should give up your delivery slots

460 replies

Sarah510 · 06/04/2020 11:09

Just thinking it's not really fair if you're healthy, and have a car, to use delivery slots from the supermarket. If you're healthy I think you should just go to the shop… It was different when we were all working and had no time etc etc, but most of us are wfh now and no reason we cant do a trip to the supermarket. Would help sick people and key workers etc by freeing up delivery spots.

OP posts:
SusanneLinder · 08/04/2020 08:31

I would like to have a delivery slot as my husband is shielding, but can't get one. The vulnerable register only applies to England and not Scotland , so have to go to shops ( as little as I can get away with)

BeyondMyWits · 08/04/2020 08:35

We have used online shopping since day 1 of tesco.com, we will continue.

We have expanded our shopping to include MIL - on 12 weeks isolation, and elderly neighbour whose son is also on 12 weeks so can't help out like he used to. We are saving 3 households - 2 very vulnerable - from going out to the shops.

(I am also a key worker if that helps)

Everybody who has delivery round here is using it additionally to prevent others from having to go out, and some of those others have problems with vision, with hearing, with tech. and with bloody minded stubbornness so find it hard to access any help being provided.

So no I personally do not "need" delivery - but those around me do, so would prefer not to be judged for doing my bit to help and taking advantage of the bit of help I gain in doing that.

Greenmandm · 08/04/2020 08:36

You can never win no matter what you do. There are many reasons a person would book their shopping online. Well done to those who can find a slot. Others can keep trying. I think nobody is selfish but everyone has different circumstances and nobody wants to get CV and wants to keep their family safe. There will always be people to point out if you go to the supermarket why did you go, if you buy just a few items why you don't buy more and if you buy online why you don't leave it to others. Everyone should stop telling others what to do and mind your own business.

roxanne119 · 08/04/2020 08:43

We have a delivery slot I’m on second list of people who should stay away from shops my husband cant stand for long periods of time . Also on the second second list . We have shopped responsibly since this started but now the delivery slots are getting harder to get . We didn’t bulk buy toilet roll we didn’t mass buy flour or eggs . If we don’t have are sporadic deliveries we would be punished for be sensible and need someone else to come in and shop for us .

gingerbeerandlemonade · 08/04/2020 08:46

How are people even getting these? I have one booked for next week which I ordered ages ago. I have a delivery pass with Tesco and haven't been able to get anything. DH is key worker and works long days. I don't drive and have two toddlers oh and we live in a rural area. How am I supposed to get shopping? According to your criteria I am healthy so shouldn't have a slot. Wake up! It isn't that simple OP.

onemouseplace · 08/04/2020 08:51

I can get a delivery slot with Sainsbury’s for a full week ahead where I am (I have a delivery pass from before this). Plenty of availability. Me giving that up is hardly going to help vulnerable people in other areas, plus just increase how busy the supermarket is.

WobblyAllOver · 08/04/2020 08:59

We have used online shopping since day 1 of tesco.com, we will continue.

Same here.

We are all trying to minimise outings. If we all listened to randoms on MN we would starve because we aren't allowed deliveries, aren't allowed to shop and if you do either you can only buy essentials which milk, eggs and bread aren't considered to be valid for lots of people on here.

Therefore I will do what I need to do for my family to keep safe just like everyone else is trying to do.

MarginalGain · 08/04/2020 09:02

Hang on, I thought the guidance was to stay at home and use delivery services where possible?

So... if I go to the supermarket I'll have someone scanning my basket to make sure I'm only buying what they deem essential and reporting me on social media if it isn't.

If I stay at home and utilise a delivery service I'm stealing the slot from a vulnerable person?

If I go to the shops more than once in ten days I'm a danger to society.

If I buy a few extra tins so I can limit my shopping trips I'm a panic buyer and a disgrace.

Can't really win here....

------

Excellent post a few pages back.

The vilification of any perceived slight against the 'vulnerable' groups is going to backfire, spectacularly. (I thought we were all at risk of dying, isn't this the message?)

Its as though the 98% (apart from our key worker heroes, of course) are being asked not to exist.

Don't ride a bike, you might need the NHS. Don't drive, you might need the NHS. Don't go to the store, you might spread disease. Don't use delivery slots, vulnerable people need it more than you. Don't go to the park, people with no gardens who need it more than you. Don't use Amazon, the drivers should be home.

IndieTara · 08/04/2020 09:02

Id widely agree, however my car broke down 2 days ago. No supermarkets within walking distance and as a single parent I'm on a budget. I'm going to have to look for delivery of some sort

Carbosug · 08/04/2020 10:04

I agree that some posters are being ridiculously over literal in the way they're interpreting guidelines and restrictions. But using that as a reason for hanging onto a slot when you have no particular circumstances that make it essential or necessary is just looking for excuses.

MamaBearOnLockdown · 08/04/2020 10:16

But using that as a reason for hanging onto a slot when you have no particular circumstances that make it essential or necessary is just looking for excuses. Hmm

you know there's a pandemic don't you?

drunkyhumptydumpty · 08/04/2020 10:20

@Carbosug I don't speak for anyone else.
But my 'excuse' is I don't want my family to get CV.

I understand that others don't want to get it. But they are not my concern. I only control my household. And I will always prioritise my babies above anyone else.

WobblyAllOver · 08/04/2020 10:29

But using that as a reason for hanging onto a slot when you have no particular circumstances that make it essential or necessary is just looking for excuses.

Ummm aren't we ALL trying to avoid getting ill. It might be a pathetic excuse to you but I'll stick with that 'excuse' and continue to get a home delivery where there is one available.

welldonejean · 08/04/2020 10:32

I’be given up my slots. I go to my local shops, and I wash my hands and hope that’s enough.

peachdribble · 08/04/2020 11:19

Once the lockdown began I realised I couldn’t get a supermarket delivery for love or money! Thankfully our local shops have been reasonably stocked and I take a little shopping trolley to minimise the number of trips. I think the supermarkets have taken on many more drivers but seem to be (rightly) limiting new deliveries for the elderly and vulnerable; I certainly don’t begrudge anyone who has kept their slot, especially if willing to help neighbours out occasionally. Every delivery is a risk too so it makes sense to combine where possible

catsarelifetome · 08/04/2020 11:20

Yes I think In these circumstances people who have cars or live near a supermarket should give up slots

Carbosug · 08/04/2020 11:27

@MamaBearOnLockdown I think you know the context in which I was talking. It has been explained many times on this thread by many posters.

Baaaahhhhh · 08/04/2020 11:41

I understand that many people feel they are being ignored, and are not classed as "vulnerable" enough, but where does it end. If you read these threads it seems that 75% of the population are vulnerable and that is just not true.

As noted before, all the supermarkets are concentrating on vulnerable customers now, but even then they cannot possibly cover everyone who thinks they need it. The could possibly cover the 1.5m extremely vulnerable, but certainly not the 25m others inc. over 70's etc.

However, I have seen that the system is working for our elderlies. But they are not just concentrating on supermarkets. They are also getting deliveries from frozen suppliers, local suppliers, and the government box (which they have now declined, as they have more than enough). So it does work for some. In fact, I think they are getting too much, as they are just getting small amounts, from many suppliers, which we have told them to stop doing - so it seems you can't win really.

Carbosug · 08/04/2020 11:50

Well that's where self policing kicks in I suppose @Baaahhhh. The Government and supermarkets can't possibly ensure that those in need get all the slots. But individuals should be capable of knowing if they are amongst the lowest risk in society and do the right thing without having to be told to do so.

drunkyhumptydumpty · 08/04/2020 11:54

It's not about right or wrong. People can make their own judgement. And a majority of us don't care what the MN masses say.

There is a virus that has the capability of killing healthy people.

I have a car and were furloughed. So if I have no other option I will go to the shops.
However. If I do manage to snag a slot when their released then I absolutely will. Because that reduces the risk to my family. Who are more important to me than anyone else.

You can tell me what ever story someone else has. And I can extend my sympathy, but I will not put them before my children.

Carbosug · 08/04/2020 13:04

It is about right or wrong but at least you're being honest about your motivation. I don't agree with you and I wouldn't like to be on a sinking ship with you, but at least you're not making up reasons.

drunkyhumptydumpty · 08/04/2020 13:06

Fine.
And you probably wouldn't want to be on a sinking ship with me. Because I will always put myself and my children first if needed.

MamaBearOnLockdown · 08/04/2020 13:08

Carbosug
I am aware, but it's grossly misleading to pretend some people are "safe" and others aren't.

Instead of giving up slots, share some of the shopping with your neighbours. That's what we do here, so none of the deliveries are wasted.

Everybody should try to limit their outings.

MamaBearOnLockdown · 08/04/2020 13:08

ou probably wouldn't want to be on a sinking ship with me. Because I will always put myself and my children first if needed.

I would seriously judge you if you didn't!

Stefoscope · 08/04/2020 13:28

ou probably wouldn't want to be on a sinking ship with me. Because I will always put myself and my children first if needed.

I would seriously judge you if you didn't!

Exactly and anyone who says they would do otherwise is most likely lying.