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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think if you're healthy you should give up your delivery slots

460 replies

Sarah510 · 06/04/2020 11:09

Just thinking it's not really fair if you're healthy, and have a car, to use delivery slots from the supermarket. If you're healthy I think you should just go to the shop… It was different when we were all working and had no time etc etc, but most of us are wfh now and no reason we cant do a trip to the supermarket. Would help sick people and key workers etc by freeing up delivery spots.

OP posts:
Carbosug · 08/04/2020 20:07

@stefoscope I'm living with someone at serious risk if they catch this. I still have to go to the supermarket to do our shopping, terrified I'll contaminate them if I bring it into the house, because of attitudes like some of those on here. Have finally got a slot for 20th April. So relieved.

CherryBakebadly · 08/04/2020 20:12

You don’t HAVE to go to the supermarket. You could ask your local volunteer group.

Carbosug · 08/04/2020 21:08

They're busy helping people who have no one to do their shopping or who are in serious situations. I can go out and shop, but it's difficult.

Stefoscope · 08/04/2020 22:51

I'm glad you've managed to get a slot Carbosug. The point I was trying to make is that almost everyone will have a relative or loved one in the high risk group. I don't think people should be called selfish for wanting to avoid the shops wherever possible, especially since that's the Government's advice to shop online where possible. The majority of posters have said they'd be happy to give up their slot should it definitely go to a more vulnerable person or would do click and collect. It's not like people are thumbing their noses at the vulnerable and trying to be spiteful. We're all just trying to stay safe so we can care for the vulnerable loved ones in our lives. If there's an option to avoid a trip to the supermarket it makes sense for everyone to try to do that however they can. Hopefully the Government and the supermarkets will be able to roll out a more comprehensive delivery system soon.

bleepbleepbla · 09/04/2020 01:10

I'm not giving up my slots

JustIgnoreTheMoanyCow · 09/04/2020 01:24

I'm healthy, dh has a serious heart complaint. Am I allowed to book a slot?

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 02:30

YABVU.

I booked a slot 3 weeks ago for Friday. Single mum of 2 so can't take them to the supermarket. Am I supposed to let them starve because of some elusive stranger who may or may not be worse off than me?

The delivery slot/exercise/bike ride/isolation police need to fuck right off and get a new hobby.

orangejuicer · 09/04/2020 02:44

Spot on Glummy.

GalileoGalileo · 09/04/2020 03:08

Yes Gummy! The self-righteous police need to calm down - many different people have situations where physically going to a shop is a struggle - why should they have to give up their slots as they aren't technically on the vulnerable list?
We're not counted as vulnerable but I have a young baby, a key worker DH (so going to a shop with baby isn't something I want to do) so why should I give up the one delivery slot I managed to book 3 weeks ago, there's no guarantee it will go to someone 'more worthy' than us.

iVampire · 09/04/2020 06:55

If everyone shopped slightly less often online, there would be way more slots to go round

Marieo · 09/04/2020 08:18

Why can't you take them to the supermarket? They are limited to one adult but none have said you can't take children if you have no other choice.

PowerslidePanda · 09/04/2020 08:26

If everyone shopped slightly less often online, there would be way more slots to go round

And if the shops removed their item restrictions, we would. The frequency of our shopping is driven by the fact that we have baby twins and can't buy enough formula or nappies in a single transaction. Apparently families of multiples don't exist. I've personally written to both Ocado and Sainsburys about it and I know that the Twins Trust charity has written to all supermarkets - we've been ignored.

PestymcPestFace · 09/04/2020 08:44

The supermarkets have greatly upped their delivery capacity, they are now capable of delivering about 20% of the nation's food shopping.
They are not yet delivering that to the most vulnerable 20% of the population.
Hopefully things will be adapted so that need is prioritised over want.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 09:35

Why can't you take them to the supermarket? They are limited to one adult but none have said you can't take children if you have no other choic

Because I don't want to put them at risk more than they already are - plus I DO have a choice, online delivery slots/click and collect. If I've needed milk and bread top ups between then I go to the petrol station and leave them in the car as I would if I needed fuel.

Also DD has (very mild) asthma and DS is only 3 and controlling them through the supermarket rules would be a massive PITA. I am not martyring myself and putting my children at risk for someone I don't know (not sorry).

MN is SO WEIRD when it comes to being virtuous about a stranger's guessed/made up situation. I just raise my eyes to the sky in threads like this and think "only on MN". It was the same in during the panic buying saga a few weeks ago - unless you were elderley or vulnerable you should not dare take toilet roll - sorry not sorry, no, if I'm in a shop and I come across what I need I'm buying it. Also, on a normal non-COVID day, it's the same with parent and child parking. MN posters in their droves scoff at the thought of using a P&C space just in case a young businessman in a Audi TT might have a hidden disability and need to use it so they park elsewhere. IRL people with kids use the parent and child spaces and no one gives a fuck.

Marieo · 09/04/2020 10:00

@GlummyMcGlummerson it's because in real life no on has the stones to admit they have ordered online shopping just because they want to. On an anon forum people don't care if others think they are selfish. People can do what they want, just don't moan if the tables are ever turned and people doing stuff 'because they can' puts you at risk.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 10:05

@Marieo of course they admit it. Not sure what kind of world you live in it I have single friends living alone and able to drive who're still getting online shops in. No one in my circle has tantrums about that, calls them (or think they're) selfish or judges them because we're not a bunch of weirdos.

You can think I'm selfish, I'll sleep at night, I am not putting my children at risk when there's an option not to. Nobody would unless you put virtue signalling above your child.

The onus needs to be on supermarkets to ensure that they have plenty of deliveries for everyone, release and prioritise them accordingly and lift restrictions on certain items so people aren't doing lots of shops every week because they can't get enough formula, or nappies, or fruit.

Enough4me · 09/04/2020 10:10

I don't think cancelling a slot neccessarily frees it up. I cancelled one as after 14 days isolation, my DC hadn't shown symptoms and I felt well. I don't think it went back online as an open slot, but may have made it easier for those delivering to have one fewer delivery to make.

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 09/04/2020 10:14

We're pooling delivery shops with our two sets of elderly neighbours. 3 orders in one shop. They don't have enough to fill an online shop and are not hugely Internet savvy so have struggled with the ordering process. They pop a shopping list through the door. We stalk the website, book a slot, put the order in for all of us. It's working well as a system and we've managed to get deliveries for the past 3 weeks thus far.

Stefoscope · 09/04/2020 10:22

We're pooling delivery shops with our two sets of elderly neighbours. 3 orders in one shop. They don't have enough to fill an online shop and are not hugely Internet savvy so have struggled with the ordering process. They pop a shopping list through the door. We stalk the website, book a slot, put the order in for all of us. It's working well as a system and we've managed to get deliveries for the past 3 weeks thus far.

Which is what many people are doing and is very sensible. Makes much more sense than cancelling a slot on the off chance it may go to someone more high risk, rather than just being cancelled altogether. I really don't think the shortage is down to people thinking they'll order multiple shops per week just because they can. Don't all supermarkets have a minimum spend of about £40 anyway? I doubt many people have to money to realistically do more than one online shop per week even if there were the free slots to readily do this.

drunkyhumptydumpty · 09/04/2020 10:22

@Marieo I have several times.
I have a car. The house has two healthy adults with zero health issues.

Zero fucks given. Because we also have three children. No issues for childcare but I'm not bringing anything home to them.

MamaBearOnLockdown · 09/04/2020 10:59

Marieo
In real life people think "lucky you" when a friend has a slot, they don't go into a fit of jealousy. And where they are close enough, they ask them to add a few things

MamaBearOnLockdown · 09/04/2020 11:05

And if the shops removed their item restrictions, we would.

It's a hard balance. Because of people stockpiling, they can't.
But on the other hand it would be handy to do a full shop for several families at once, and/or a shop for a month. You can usually find plenty of greengrocers delivering that can supply a top up of fresh fruits and veg.

molington · 09/04/2020 11:17

So glad you managed to get a slot Carbosug Flowers.

Marieo · 09/04/2020 11:25

Well I guess if you don't have vulnerable friends or anything then no one does judge, whatever. Everyone can do what they want, it's just sad really. And no, it's not virtue signalling, it's taking calculated risks to help others.

Marieo · 09/04/2020 11:26

In real life people think "lucky you" when a friend has a slot, they don't go into a fit of jealousy.

Glad I have friends with empathy then who go to the shop and allow others to safely stay home, they also don't burst into jealousy, they don't do it in the first place.