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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think if you're healthy you should give up your delivery slots

460 replies

Sarah510 · 06/04/2020 11:09

Just thinking it's not really fair if you're healthy, and have a car, to use delivery slots from the supermarket. If you're healthy I think you should just go to the shop… It was different when we were all working and had no time etc etc, but most of us are wfh now and no reason we cant do a trip to the supermarket. Would help sick people and key workers etc by freeing up delivery spots.

OP posts:
GarlicBreadItsTheFuture · 08/04/2020 13:43

I'm getting tired of the guilt-tripping on here. We are asked to stay at home, by using delivery slot we are staying at home. If I give up my delivery then it won't necessarily go to someone that "deserves" it more.

I don't have more time, I am working from home for more hours than I was working in the office as everything takes longer and I need to put in regular calls to my team to make sure they are ok. In addition I have to make 3 meals a day for my family who usually eat at school/work. So actually I don't have time to go to the shops.

So YABU - people should make the right decision for them and everyone should stop using this lockdown as an opportunity to be a nosy judgy busy body and get on with their own lives/concerns.

Greyhair59 · 08/04/2020 13:52

My father was classed by Sainsbury's as vulnerable, but has been taken off as he does not come under the govt definition, with no serious health issues. He is 90, and very unsteady on his feet, lives alone and I live over an hour away. Feel old pèople should be a priority, especially as he is aware he would not get treated in hospital for CV (and quite right he says).

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 08/04/2020 15:06

@Carbosug Being in lower risk does not mean no risk. No one wants to die, and we are hearing of young healthy twenty something year olds dying too. Why should they risk going out? Fewer people out there, safer for those who do shop. BJ said to get a delivery slot if you can, not to get a delivery slot only of youre super vulnerable. It's super selfish to expect people who are not in the highest risk cathegory but who have dependants for example to give up what can save their families, or infect family members

nypost.com/2020/04/06/baby-hospitalized-with-coronavirus-after-dad-goes-to-grocery-store/

Marieo · 08/04/2020 15:13

@GarlicBreadItsTheFuture I don't think it's people being busybodies, because for some people it directly affects them. If you had been told to shield for 12 weeks as there was a real possibility that you would be very poorly and likely to catch it; someone who is able to go shopping but doesn't means that you can't get a slot and get any food, so their actions directly do put you at more risk. Click and collect takes hardly anytime, surely that's fairer. But as long as you're alright hey.

Marieo · 08/04/2020 15:15

@MonaLisaDoesntSmile but there aren't enough slots, if you are shielded or very vulnerable the risk for you going to shop or even someone in your household is substantially higher than for someone who isn't in one of those categories. Of course there is unfortunately a risk for anyone, but it's still selfish really, because the risk is a lot, lot, lower.

tainot · 08/04/2020 15:18

Greyhair my 91 year old grandad was treated for Coronavirus in Hospital and recovered.
Obviously not saying he should go shopping and I 100% agree elderly should have slots. Just to give some hope Smile

WobblyAllOver · 08/04/2020 15:33

I don't like this judging of who is 'more deserving' than others.

Who is to determine that? Certainly no individual poster. I am selfish in some areas of my life and selfless in others.

I am happy to be selfish with deliveries in terms of trying to get them if they are available. I am also trying for my elderly MIL who lives miles away from me.

MamaBearOnLockdown · 08/04/2020 15:42

Click and collect takes hardly anytime, surely that's fairer.

but you don't have the choice between C&C or Home delivery! If you find a slot, you take it, it seems completely random which one you get, just luck depending on the time you are there.

I bet you some people would be ok to drive and pick up their shopping safely, but they are not given that option.

Another solution would be to do a multi shop for 2 or 3 names, delivered at same address, so you could at least bring 2 or 3 bags to your neighbour.

ACDC4578 · 08/04/2020 15:45

If you are healthy, can drive and can get to the shops without having to drag kids around then I would say you should be going to the shops. Anyone else who finds it difficult should continue online

Marieo · 08/04/2020 15:53

@MamaBearOnLockdown well you can have a choice, but choose not to, and to go for a delivery anyway.

Stefoscope · 08/04/2020 16:16

I don't like this judging of who is 'more deserving' than others.

Exactly, the majority of people will know someone who falls into the higher risk category. Even if they're 'healthy' and 'low risk' themselves, it's natural to want to protect people you personally know and care about. So I find it hard to judge people for taking a slot and adding shopping on for loved ones. I do sympathise with those who are high risk and struggling to get slots. But by the logic demonstrated by some posters on here, those people should also cancel their slot in case there is someone more vulnerable and needy out there. It's a flawed system, but 'self policing' isn't going to make it fairer. Someone cancelling their delivery isn't going to help if the demand for delivery and shortage of drivers is in a different area.

MamaBearOnLockdown · 08/04/2020 16:38

Marieo
you miss my point, why should I chose to put my kids at risk?

My point was that if people could chose to do a click and collect, a lot might take it, instead of using a delivery slot. Which they need.

Marieo · 08/04/2020 16:49

you miss my point, why should I chose to put my kids at risk?

No, I get your point. To you obviously your children are the most important thing, anyone would feel the same. It's understandable why people do it, but it is still selfish in the context that some people who are likely to catch it and high risk can't get shopping because those who are low risk dont want to go.

Carbosug · 08/04/2020 17:08

All these excuses...

drunkyhumptydumpty · 08/04/2020 17:50

And we don't care :)

Marieo · 08/04/2020 17:51

I know, a civilised society and a lot of people just think of themselves, I hope if anyone needs help in the future others have the same attitude.

molington · 08/04/2020 18:03

And we don’t care Smile
Nail just hit on your own head there DHD.

molington · 08/04/2020 18:15

I now find myself in the situation of having to self-isolate for 14 days in line with guidelines due to a member of my household showing symptoms and I am unable to get any slots on any sites.
Older neighbours who I have been helping are now trying to help us.
Fruit, veg, milk & bread deliveries are available from lesser known deliverers at extortionate prices.
At least we won’t starve.

greathat · 08/04/2020 18:20

4 asthmatics in our house. 2 of whom have had colds turn into pneumonia, one more than once. No slots available anywhere.

MamaBearOnLockdown · 08/04/2020 18:30

And we don't care

it's more like it's a moot point as most of us can't get slots anyway!
But if I could find one, yes of course I would take it. And share with my neighbours, as we are already doing as much as we can.

Stefoscope · 08/04/2020 18:59

@Carbosug , so if you could get a slot would you cancel it on the off chance it would go to someone more vulnerable than yourself, or would you take it to protect yourself and your own household first?

ScarfLadysBag · 08/04/2020 19:07

We would happily do Click and Collect but there aren't any of those. We only have a delivery slot as we had a recurring slot with Asda set up before this happened and have had for yonks, which we pay a delivery pass for. I don't want to cancel as I've no idea if/when we will ever get it back! If it was just a one-off slot I wouldn't be bothered, but we are rural so I'd rather not cancel our confirmed weekly slot right now when we can't get a C&C. I've offered to buy stuff for neighbours so at least there's fewer of us going into the shops.

But my ultimate responsibility is to my baby daughter and I won't risk her losing one or both of her parents if I don't have to 🤷‍♀️ I know that's selfish, but I think you have to be as a parent sometimes. I don't know. I wish I could be a bit more selfless about it, but after seeing what's happening to fit and healthy people with children I can't really bring myself to do something I don't have to do on the off chance the slot actually goes to someone who needs it and not just someone else in my position. So yes I guess I am selfish 🤷‍♀️

Zogsbigsister · 08/04/2020 19:07

Well I’ve got a slot coming up. I’m working my socks off in hospital, leaving my beautiful child in childcare for more hours than I ever dreamt I would and a single parent to boot. I want to keep my slot to protect others and spend the precious little time I gave with my child at home rather than dragging her round a supermarket....if anyone wants to swap circs right now, just let me know.

recrudescence · 08/04/2020 19:21

Providing I’m not depriving a genuinely needy person, I have no qualms about having my shopping delivered. And if Ocado told me my slot was going to someone more deserving, I’d take on the chin.

Tubs11 · 08/04/2020 19:31

@Zogsbigsister keep up the good work and keep your food slot. No one on here would deny you a food delivery slot. Your daughter must be super proud of you and the heroic effort you're putting in Flowers

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