AIBU? Circumcision?

[Poppygirl96]

Me and my ex have recently split up and we have a 5 month old son. He told me when I was pregnant that he wanted to get our son circumcised due to his religion and that it was really important to him. I was heavily pregnant tired and not really thinking much about it so I blindly agreed. However I have been thinking about it a lot and really don’t want our son to get unnecessarily cut even if it is for religious reasons.

My ex says it’s also to keep him clean but I don’t see the point. We haven’t found anyone to do the surgery as our son was prem so we couldn’t and now there’s COVID-19 so we can’t go now. If I bring it up and go against him, I know my ex will be pissed and it will cause a huge argument especially as it’s so important to him, his mother and his religion.

I don’t want to ruin co-parenting with him and cause issues so I’m not sure what to do/say. AIBU in saying I don’t want to go ahead with it?

Refuse and hope he doesn't have it done anyway.

It's barbaric.

My husband's culture is one that has ritual circumcision at 14 and when I was pregnant he said any son he had would not be accepted as a man if he didn't have it done.

I said I didn't care. Nobody was hacking part of my child's body off unless medically necessary.

He tried to 'compromise' by suggesting it be done shortly after birth.

My response was the same. Not happening.

Our sons are now in their 20s and are unmutilated. If they choose to have it done at some point, that's up to them. It's their body and their choice but like hell was it being done to them without their informed consent or there being a genuine medical need.

If I were you I'd push really hard on this and say that it is a choice they can make as an adult and not one made for them.

Oh fuckadoodles. I didn't clock that it's a zombie!

I wish they'd change the background colour on any thread over six months old or something.

Sick, cruel and unnecessary.

I'd refuse him access

Don't do it.

It may be mutilation but it's not on the same level. Circumcising is common where I'm from but most of those people would never do FGM. The level of brutality just isn't equal, FGM is particularly sadistic whereas most boys have zero recollection (esp. if medically anaesthetised) and some are even glad.

Nobody is glad to have FGM performed. Many die, they're are pinned down by an older woman and butchered. So both are wrong, to me, but not to the same extent.

I agree, and wonder what the reason the poster who reanimated did it was...

GAH or me

How can any sane and rational person say it is mutilation, rather I think it’s a case of bigotry and hatred toward other cultures and religion. Circumcision is proven to have many benefits for both men and women reducing the chance of contracting std’s and reducing the risk of cervical cancer. It looks better, it feels better, it’s cleaner, and honest women will tell you how much the prefer it. If you don’t want to do it for religious reasons then do it for the scientific ones and the fact woman find it more desirable. In some cases men need to be circumcised for medical purposes for things that could have been prevented had it been done when they were babies.

Where did anyone mention fgm??

Best whip off baby girls breasts then, as they can cause a bad back, get all sweaty, and develop cancer.

Bolschcon You're posting utter bollocks. Please educate yourself.

Just to clarify, I am talking about male circumcision. Also, can I ask all the people so opposed to this if they have the same attitude towards cosmetic surgery like breast enhancements for example or people that choose to change gender. Are they also mutilating themselves?

Its mutilation of the genitalia. The purpose doesnt have to be the same. The anatomy doesnt have to be the same and the outcome is slightly different dependent on the physical effect on the sexually mature adult.

However it IS mutilation of a non consenting human's genitalia.

Not ok and should never be done unless its for medical reasons.

If your comparing a piece of skin to breasts then I think you should take a minute to think about that

All women find it more desirable? Is that what they tell you?

The only person who should be deciding on this is your son at an appropriate age.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Your baby has no religion Therefore cannot follow religious requirements

If he decides later to follow a religion that requires circumcision and he can decide to be circumcised as an adult but he can’t undo something that’s been done without his consent.

You don’t say whether you are married to his father but From the rest of your post I suspect not. Clearly he requires his son to make sacrifices in the name of his religion when he isn’t prepared to do so himself. His religion didn’t bother him when he was having sex with someone who didn’t share his beliefs, did it? What a hypocrite!

If it’s being done to them as a newborn, yes.

Your religious views do not justify sexualised child abuse with a knife. You should be utterly ashamed.

Those things aren't generally done to babies.

Do you think parents should be able to give their baby a breast enhancement or a sex change?

If you are supporting cutting bits off babies cocks you should never be allowed parental responsibility.

You obviously dont understand the full gamut of variety of FGM but in any case, removal of bits of a body for no medical reason is mutilation. Fine if the person is able to consent and has chosen this, not if they havent

The reason this is challenged so little is purely down to misandry.