AIBU? Circumcision?

[Poppygirl96]

Me and my ex have recently split up and we have a 5 month old son. He told me when I was pregnant that he wanted to get our son circumcised due to his religion and that it was really important to him. I was heavily pregnant tired and not really thinking much about it so I blindly agreed. However I have been thinking about it a lot and really don’t want our son to get unnecessarily cut even if it is for religious reasons.

My ex says it’s also to keep him clean but I don’t see the point. We haven’t found anyone to do the surgery as our son was prem so we couldn’t and now there’s COVID-19 so we can’t go now. If I bring it up and go against him, I know my ex will be pissed and it will cause a huge argument especially as it’s so important to him, his mother and his religion.

I don’t want to ruin co-parenting with him and cause issues so I’m not sure what to do/say. AIBU in saying I don’t want to go ahead with it?

The procedure gets more painful and at greater risk of infection as they get older. I wouldn't want him to sneak and get it done.

You really need legal advice on this, because you won't be able to stop it, unless something is in place.

My DD's partner is waiting to be circumcised, he in a lot of discomfort. I've known about seven men who've had to have it done as teens or adults. It made sense to do it as a baby, in hot countries, in the past.

Ideally you should talk it out with him, because there might be other things which you object to, but you are equal parents and both went into this knowing that there was a culture clash.

The child is an individual. He will have free will. He can choose religion or not. He can choose foreskin or not. Why should anyone make those choices for him?

Foreskins do not retract on boys for at least 5 years, many don't retract until the teenage years. They are attached to the glans.

To perform a circumcision they have to tear the foreskin off the penis. Forceably separate them. Why would anyone want to do that to a child?

It is mutliating a child for no good reason.

Do not allow this to happen to your child.

It's the same as FGM

Why would you allow a surgeon to chop off part of your sons penis in the name of religion?

"SIGH. Circumcision on males is NOT the same as FGM on females. Why do people always say this on these threads? confused

They are 2 completely different procedures!"

What the f**k??

Different procedures yes - equally as barbaric - YES!

Do not mutilate his body without his consent. If you really want to get into it, your letting a doctor inappropriately touch and harm your babies gentiles?? It's bizarre. And it won't grow back if you change your mind. He can always get it done himself when he's older. But he certainly can't stick it back on.

The tide has well and truly turned against acceptance of circumcision in the UK. There is no health reason for it and there are risks attached . I have never heard a justification for mutilation of baby boys that I can relate to. Say no and join the movement to stop this barbaric and archaic practice.

It's the same

Mutilation of genitals, in the name of religion

It must be your decision and you must not be intimidated by anyone over this. I’m a British man and I was circumcised at birth for non-religious reasons (my dad is too and both my parents thought it is more hygienic). My fiancée and I have discussed this and we have agreed that we will also have any son circumcised at birth - my fiancée is strongly in favour. I have two friends who were circumcised as adults (both at the Thornhill Clinic in Luton) and they both said it was much less arduous than they were expecting, but the 4-6 week recovery period was a bit frustrating. Whilst my fiancée and I are in favour of circumcision and would recommend it, please don’t let anyone bully you into getting it done against your own wishes.

Zombie thread !

My fiancée and I have discussed this and we have agreed that we will also have any son circumcised at birth - my fiancée is strongly in favour.

I'm not sure why you've resurrected this thread, but as this is a current issue... why do you want to mutilate your son? How on earth can it be worth the risks of surgery to a tiny baby?

If your friends found it such a doddle then let your son wait until he's old enough to choose.

A two year old thread about circumcision ressurrected. Why?

ZOMBIE THREAD

Would be interested to hear if the op was successful in preventing her ds being mutilated..

Make sure that he doesn't have it done without your knowledge. In a high court case in 2016, a father of two young boys argued that it would be in their best interests for them to be circumcised in accordance with his Muslim faith. Their mother disagreed. The judge declined to make an order to enable them to be circumcised, instead deciding that the decision should be deferred until the boys were old enough to provide consent themselves. Where two people with parental responsibility cannot agree on whether or not a child should be subjected to non-therapeutic circumcision, the procedure must not be performed without leave of the court. Therefore, if you and your partner disagree about whether or not your child should be circumcised, you should seek advice from a family law solicitor.

If you have discovered that your son has been circumcised without your knowledge and/or your consent, you may wish to seek medical advice in the first instance. The police and the Crown Prosecution can be slow and reluctant to take action in response to allegations of unlawful circumcision, perhaps due to the cultural and familial context in which they often arise. If you have made such allegations to the police and you are concerned about how those allegations have been handled, it may assist you to seek advice from a specialist solicitor.

@pleasepleasepleasehelp Of course it's not the same procedure as FGM, as boy babies and girl babies are anatomically different. If all goes well it won't cause any long-term pain or suffering for the DS, unlike FGM. But it's still mutilating a child needlessly, causes pain, can lead to infections and frankly should not be done to appease an ex-MIL who subscribes to a religion/load of old dogma, and when the intended circumcisee cannot give consent.

YANBU. I prefer a circumcised penis. (Don't flame me, it's a personal choice!) However, circumcising a baby is pretty grim IMO. A 'tradition' that needs consigning to the history books. Anyone comparing it to FGM need educating though, and is as bright as a 1 watt bulb, because they are nowhere NEAR the same, and it's a LUDICROUS to say it is. But even so, circumcising a baby boy's penis is a shitty thing to do.

Exactly. I can't believe some people are so obtuse that they think male circumcision and FGM are the same. Beggars belief. Are people really that badly educated with so little basic knowledge? Scary.

My husband wanted the same thing for our son, but I just said no and that was it.

Medically it's not the same but morally it's exactly the same whether it's a boy or a girl.

Unless there is a valid reason for it - and "because the bible says so" or "because my mate says it's more hygenic" then it's equally as abusive as FGM.

and "because the bible says so" or "because my mate says it's more hygenic" are not valid reasons

There’s no way on this earth that anyone will be chopping a piece of my sons dick off! If it was needed for medical reasons, then ok. But for religious reasons, no way josè!
there are risks with any surgery/anaesthesia procedures. Not worth the risk at all.

Mutilating the génitals of a little baby is abhorrent. I have no idea why it is allowed.

You are being incredibly dishonest here. FGM refers to a whole spectrum of practices which, at one end of the scale can involve as little as a tiny incision with a scalpel, just enough to draw blood.

All are wrong, but not all are more damaging than male circumcision.

Wonder how the op got on