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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is lockdown making anyone a bad mum?

214 replies

Emcont · 03/04/2020 16:33

I use the tem bad mum lightly, but it's making me shouty and snappy. It's lowering my usually quite high tolerance level. I feel like I'm drowning!

They are 5 (next month) and 6.5.

They're getting under each other also which isn't helping.

We are lucky enough to have a garden which helps for a while, weather permitting!

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Cecesea · 03/04/2020 21:29

My 5 year old hasnt changed his pants for days.

NotNegan · 03/04/2020 21:31

My son and I are currently arguing over who gets to watch Netflix.

He's 3.

Wheelsonthebusagian · 03/04/2020 21:32

I love this thread, it has made me feel so much better.

My 2.5 year old twins have been bouncing off the walls, constant fighting, asking for snacks, never agreeing on which crappy version of bear hunt they want to watch on YouTube (why did I ever start that one, should have stuck to CBeebies) and me and my other half are fighting for time to work in between refereeing and dishing out biscuits. When I try something more creative it always ends in tears, something getting broken and me shouting.

🍷 for you all!

RedLipsAndRosyCheeks · 03/04/2020 21:34

My kids are having the time of their lives watching constant tv. DS1 genuinely told me this was the happiest he's ever been the other day.

At least he's not stressed Confused

They are eating a lot of junk. The Easter supplies will need to be replaced again

DressesWithPocketsRockMyWorld · 03/04/2020 21:36

Shit Mum reporting in! I work at an SEN school so you would have thought I would have the patience of a saint. But nope, I've got the patience of an angry rottweiler on her period!

To be fair big teenager children have done loads of work. Inbetween hosting Fight Club in the kitchen while I do conference calls. Does the sound of play fighting give anyone else intense rage? And littlest has done nothing but build Forts at Night and done cycling in the garden.

Oh I'm trying to do an MA too. Trying and failing!

GlamGiraffe · 03/04/2020 21:42

I am being repeatedly screamed at by Dh and Ds (17yo) that I am an awful parent (was about 30 times yesterday😪) whilst trying to contain our seriously nuts nearly 3yr old who is exceedingly clever and cunning and sneakily naughty. I am now not even allowed to pee for fear of what she may do and am not allowed to have a bath or shower as I cant guard her at the same time and Ds and DH are both "working" too much to watch her either. Apparently I am the worst mother EVER!!. ..And bullied too.

Does any one want to socially distance and drink gin in the garden with me while eating chocolate??

Amibeingunr · 03/04/2020 21:42

Shit mum here too!! Managed ten mins of school work before I decided eff it and let him play computer/ fight with his sibling/ do whatever he wants day. Not cut out for this, no wine in, stressed out.

Original poster
Emcont · 03/04/2020 21:44

Wine for all the shit mums during this shit time!

Those who don't drink, here! CakeFlowers

OP posts:
duckme · 03/04/2020 21:47

I'm a shit mom too! The TV is on constantly, my 12 year old son has had pizza for at least 4 meals this week. My 2.5 year old is used to having activities to go to every morning with my mom whilst I'm at work which means I end up having to sit in the freezing cold garden with him while he's playing and asking him every 5 minutes if we can go inside yet.
We started potty training the youngest this week too, you know, for fun Hmm
Also I am really irritated with my husband. He can easily work from home, give him a laptop and he can do everything he does in the office, anywhere in the world. I work in a school office and have also been working from home as our school is closed. Granted there is less for me to do but this week has been pretty full on trying to get things sorted out. Yesterday I had walked the dog, got breakfast done, done pe with the kids and joe wickes, done an online rhythm time class with the youngest, done half an hour work, cooked lunch for the 5 of us and tidied after. It wasn't until the toddler had his nap that I could do any meaningful work. Why is it ok for my husband to get to work in peace but I have to snatch minutes to try and get mine done 😡

ThisIsABitTricky · 03/04/2020 21:49

This is the best thread I've ever seen!

I have a three year old, a two year old and a seven month old breastfed baby - all of us living in a small flat with no garden.

Y'all best believe CBeebies is raising my kids right now and cake for the morning snacks is a regular thing.

Hang tight mamas. We all gotta do, we gotta do to get through this with our sanity.

lemontreee · 03/04/2020 21:51

I changed the time on my phone and put my kid to bed an hour earlier so I could have wine.

&

I faked a headache today to my partner just so I could go for an 'hour' nap just to lie down.

I'm awful today , I'll try better tomorrow.

RubaDubMum89 · 03/04/2020 21:53

Oh god yes.

We're currently in the 4th week of our isolation and I'm loosing my mind. I'm a single parent, trying to WFH to keep my small business afloat and look after 3 year old DD who is absolutely relentless when we can't be out and about burning off steam.

She's dropped her nap, which means I've had tk drop mine too, but I don't sleep at night very well. My depression is going insane and I'm spending my days shouting too much, trying to confine DD to a room with me whilst I work and trying to do the housework and entertainment as well.

Fuck corona. Fuck this shit. Roll on freedom

Maryjane3227 · 03/04/2020 21:56

No worse than usual! Grin

slipperywhensparticus · 03/04/2020 21:57

My kids have bickered and fought and not slept all week I finally lost my shit demanded they turn it all off and put them to bed my youngest is FINALLY asleep and I'm wide awake I swear if I hear that wretched whiny scream ONCE MORE I'm going to run screaming down the road ripping my hair out

bubblybrit · 03/04/2020 22:15

I’m failing miserably at work and being a mum. Currently working at home full time in a job that is super stressful at present (finance related) whilst trying to look after 13 month old. It’s impossible. I’m so far behind at work which is making me more anxious/stressed!

DH and I are trying to take it in turns to look after her but I’m so so tired. Usually end up working again after she goes to bed at 7.30. Currently my day starts at 6am and ends at 10pm. I then have 30 mins for a cup of tea before bed. Then the whole nightmare starts all over again.

Samtsirch · 03/04/2020 22:22

This thread has helped me to get over years of guilt and self berating about the " mistakes" I made when mine were young, it's good to see that things don't change that much, mums do their best in tricky circumstances, and it's so wonderful to see such honesty.

CoodleMoodle · 03/04/2020 22:42

Me too. DD(6) has never, ever moaned about DS(20mo) getting more attention than her, but she complained about it the other day. She's always been very grown up about it, but I guess her being at school most of the day means she hadn't realised just how much of my time he takes up. We've got DH at the weekend so she gets plenty of attention from at least one of us, but during the week it's difficult to split myself in half. DS is incredibly clingy, which really doesn't help. I'm also knackered because they're not sleeping well (probably due to lack of exercise, despite doing our best).

We seem to be having a couple of good days and then a bad one, at the moment. I hate being a shouty Mum, some days I am one. But I try not to feel guilty about screen time in general, and especially not at the moment.

It's so, so hard sometimes.

willieversleep · 03/04/2020 22:51

Ah yes this is me. I've a 2yo and a 4yo who are used to being out of the house every day as this is how I stay sane. My dh is a key worker who works 7 days a week and so I'm on my own trying to wfh whilst entertaining the children. I'm struggling to sleep and when I do I have very realistic dreams/nightmares.

Terrible mother who is failing miserably and shouting while she does it.

Oh and found out that my dm has cancer but won't be starting treatment until the covid-19 situation changes

AnPo · 03/04/2020 22:56

Oh this thread is a huge relief.

We are starting our fourth week of isolation. Last week was utter hell and I was horrible, simply horrible to my DC. I'm a SAHM so I should be used to this, but without the break of preschool I've been losing my mind with my (very hard work) three year old and the two year old just copies her.

I decided on wednesday to just let everything go. To stop trying to keep things as they usually are and to say yes to them as much as possible - once the thing they were doing wasn't incredibly dangerous.

It's been a complete turn around! I'm no longer stressing over screen time. I usually limit it fairly strictly but we had about 5 hours of it today 🙈 I let the 3 year old bake scones her way (they were actually edible!) I let them get soaked outside playing with buckets of soapy water, I let them make a complete and utter mess in the house and I have no intention of cleaning it up any time soon. We had boiled eggs, toast, mandarins and gingerbread man biscuits for dinner.

Despite the lack of structure, toms of sugar and reliance on peppa pig we didn't have a single tantrum today - not one! They were the happiest little angels all day (this is NOT the norm). And I didn't shout or get cross at all Shock so I'm going to bed tonight guilt free for the first time in weeks! I highly recommend just letting it all go to shit Wink

AnPo · 03/04/2020 22:58

So sorry about your mum willieversleep Sad I hope she can get started on treatment soon Flowers

MoltoAgitato · 03/04/2020 23:01

Checking in. Trying to do a key worker job, DH being a twat by checking into his home office and not giving a shit about having to educate children as well. I’m snappy with the kids who are being completely ignored and I just want everyone to FOTTFSOF. And I hate being so short with the kids.

Haggisfish · 03/04/2020 23:05

I’m not shit. But my dc are pretty much welded to their screens.

Missmonkeypenny · 03/04/2020 23:12

Joining the club! DH is a paramedic so I am an anxious ball, wondering what he'll bring home. DD (5) is home from school and staying with her dad has also stopped as he and his wife both work in hospitals. Shes driving me insane with all of the questions and I haven't been able to watch anything I want to in weeks. DS is 3 months and teething, will only nap for 30 mins and that 30 mins has to be on me, constantly feeding so I have no hands free as he's breastfed (and won't take dummies or bottles and is allergic to dairy so I can't even comfort eat chocolate). Ive discovered cosmic kids yoga on youtube because Joe Wicks makes me out of breathe just looking at him and I worry ill knock DD out with one of my boobs if I join in. She watches a lot of TV but thankfully likes wildlife docs so I can at least claim they're educational.

This is not the long awaited, baby took 3 years and a round of IVF maternity leave I had in mind.

Needhelp101 · 04/04/2020 01:57

I've let my 10 year old watch (edited) versions of The Invisible Man, Get Out and The Faculty.
Having said that, has made for some really interesting discussions on domestic violence, coercive control, gas lighting, sexism, racism and the fact that everyone in Hollywood is unrealistically good looking.

managedmis · 04/04/2020 02:18

It's not that bad. Mine have watched loads of TV - it's improving their English.

They've helped me cook.

Playing outside, bit of gardening.

It's all learning.