Is lockdown making anyone a bad mum?

[Emcont]

I use the tem bad mum lightly, but it's making me shouty and snappy. It's lowering my usually quite high tolerance level. I feel like I'm drowning!

They are 5 (next month) and 6.5.

They're getting under each other also which isn't helping.

We are lucky enough to have a garden which helps for a while, weather permitting!

Anyone else?

@ohmysoul I reckon our 16mo is averaging about 6 episodes of Bing a day, just so we can get some peace 😬

I'm finding not having a break hard. It's not his fault and he's only 8 months old. But I had to put him in his cot, shut the door go downstairs and make a cup of tea yesterday.

I had the video monitor on so I could keep an eye on him but both dh and I needed a break from eachother and him as we're getting snappy at eachother too, so he went and sat on the patio while I stayed in the kitchen.

It broke my heart seeing him crying on the monitor, but nothing and I mean absolutely nothing would calm him down, so I had to put him down before I shouted at him. He then took his bottle and had a nap 10 minutes later when I went up to him.

Yep. Honestly my mental health is taking a massive dive over it & I have felt they'd be better off without me on more than one occasion. Can't get medical help for it though due to the virus

Failing miserably here. Dh is locked away in the office 5 days a week from 9 -5 on work calls and doing other work related activity. Apparently.

I’m meant to be working 20 hours a week but with a grumpy 12 year old, a 10 year old with autism and adhd and a 7 year old also with autism and adhd who has to be watched all the time, I feel like I’m failing across the board. Doing my best to keep up with the home learning. But feeling quite overwhelmed. The most concentrated activity my 7 year old (who has quite severe complex needs) has done is squashing a chocolate bar into the table and re-making it into a shape and sorting coloured M&Ms. Feels like a waste of chocolate.

My son got wotsits for lunch the other day to keep him quiet whilst I caught up with some emails...

Oh yes, I assumed everyone

Oh definitely! I literally found myself running away from my 3 year old whilst on a work call. I’ve never had so much mummy guilt!

Oh god yes.
Dh and I still working
Constant emails from dd high school she hasn't done x y z - she hasn't done a full week in school in months so why they think she's going to do the work is beyond me. Trying to get her to do it is making me lose my shit.
Ds is so bloody active and wants to do stuff all the time!
I want to cry

My children are grown up now but with all of the windows open in our street,the air is blue from all of the effing and jeffing by stressed out mums.
Some of their exasperated/ ridiculous threats are funny too and bring back happy memories of when mine were small 😂

@DICarter1 why does your dh get to lock himself away from 9-5 every day but you don't? I bumped into a friend who told me her h was doing the same and the kids were just feral.

I feel lucky to be a single parent tbh. At least its only my kids that annoy me.

I'm having to bribe the 8 and 5 year olds to go outside, and my 18 month old ate pizza, crisps and an adult sized ice lolly for his lunch.
Not winning.

My 2.5 year old is glued to movies must of the day. I try and do activities but ends up in chaos and I get stressed! I’m also supposed to be working, it’s hard.

AgentCooper problem solved. Go for long solo walks leave screaming child with partner. Yay!

@soannya that’s a bloody good idea it’s not been happening this past fortnight because DH works in FINANCE and it’s SO IMPORTANT and the end of the TAX YEAR. Which doesn’t explain all those podcasts he’s been listening to up there and going on his exercise bike, the fucker. But as of today the tax year is over and the freedom of AgentCooper doth begin. Kind of.

DD is a clingy nightmare at the moment and I had to do a full work conference today with the mic muted and her on my knee while she played puppet theatre into the camera because DH had buggered off to now the lawn and couldn’t hear me shouting him to come get her so my boss didn’t think I was a total twat.

Also, a ‘friend’ texted me pictures of all the hundreds of crafts and educational things she’s done with her child today and a lovely inquiry as to what we’d achieved.

I have never felt so much like murdering someone in my life.

Now is not the time for your performance parenting!

Just read a smug post on a friend's FB page. It has fucked me off. She made soda bread and soup with her child today, and got the child to read the recipe, weigh out the ingredients, etc etc. So that's Maths and Literacy covered, blah blah.
I felt like saying aye, it's a piece of piss when you have one child, nae money worries, two adults at home, and you didnae have to work in the first place!
I don't feel like a very good person having these thoughts, I admit.

@BelleSausage

Snap! ... well, almost.

@ Dieu

Have this 🍷. We need it.

Well I did make it through today without losing my rag, but it was close.
There's never a break. Ds1 just wants to watch irritating YouTubers, ds2 is either clingy or trying to hit ds1. Ds1 informed me this morning that I was teaching ds2 to add up wrong. It's not wrong!
It's bad enough I'm having to learn grammar with ds1. Stupid subordinate clauses.
Today I shifted off upstairs as I needed a nap and left DH In Charge. DH and I have started competitive napping. As soon as I came down he was off up.
They've had lots of TV, lots of computer games and sugar. Lots of sugar.
I've decided that if we've reached the end of the day and we've actually accomplished anything at all, no matter how small, it's a win.
Time for gin.

Oh I love this thread! Thank you! I'm also a shit mum.

I'm a SAHM
I'm a qualified teacher.
I used to be able to inflict an education upon 150 teenagers a day. I used to supply teach and get random teenagers educated.
Blow me if I can get my 9 yo to write the frigging date without sending him to his room to calm down for 15 minutes after writing the first frigging letter.

Admittedly SNs are a factor in this and DS1 can pick on DS2 just for existing which is a tad unfair and wearing, not that DS2 is always entirely benign.

I must have looked mean on yesterday's walk, striding off ahead of a snivelling, sulking DS1 (plus the snivelling made him cough) but after about 15-20 mins he got over it and actually had a lovely time. Sometimes it's just best to plough on and not feed the mood and engage with it.

They've just randomly put Bing on iPlayer. They haven't watched that for years! Bing's been shoplifting... that reminds me of walking 3yo back into Greggs to return a fizzy drink

So to all my fellow slummy mummies, remember, there's never been so much expected of parents. No escape, educate, nurture. Even in WW2 (if you weren't hiding for your life) you could turf them out to entertain themselves on a nearby bombsite.

Well I think you are all lovely mums.
The children are having a ball!
10 yr old ds2 said to me last night
‘Oh I just love wearing my pjamas all day because I don’t have to get changed at bedtime’

Yes. Mother of the year award right there

Dd is 10 and comes properly alive around 830pm.he's silly / engaging and funny..but Dd has talked at me all.day by then, along with me remote schooling teens and I just want everyone to stfu and give me my space.

Kids are loving the generally more chilled life though. I'm not as stressed as when I'm in.work , even though I'm shouty.

Praise the Lord!

It's not just me.

My 2 year old is like a caged animal. I've tried crafts (colouring, paintings chalk, dens, baking) and he just eats it, breaks it or chucks it on the floor.

I keep letting him have crisps and chocolate not long after his breakfast just to keep him happy.

I let him wash the pots soak the fucking kitchen and crayon over the TV unit.

Hes forgot how to play by himself and constantly wants my attention.

I'm on my phone way too much and had alcohol at 4pm with our tea.

I feel such a relief to finally get it out

I don't think my children have watched as much tv in their whole life as they have in the past 2 weeks 😂