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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Gutted we will have to stay but to try and make it work

130 replies

Soggyundercarriage · 03/04/2020 07:20

We were ready to sell our tiny house and plan was to rent for a while. We have massively outgrown this house and I'm gutted we have to stay now.
We have two dc in a 2 bed modern house that is very small. There is a large age gap so can't share and rooms aren't big enough anyway.
Well now we're stuck so WIBU to buy a sofa bed and sleep downstairs while the dc have a room each. There isn't a spare soon downstairs so we would be sleeping in the lounge.
Would this work in reality do you think?

OP posts:

Soontobe60 · 03/04/2020 07:22

I would put the dc in the same bedroom before sleeping on a bed settee in the lounge. How old are they?

ScarlettDarling · 03/04/2020 07:23

Of course, that will work fine in the short term. And don't be too downhearted, this is only a temporary set back, you'll be able to move in the not too distant future.

chocolatespiders · 03/04/2020 07:27

I feel your pain. Big age gap here so children have a room each. I shared with youngest till they reached 14.
I now sleep on sofa which is not ideal and I hate having no where to get ready after showering. No hope of moving here.
I have struggled to find a sofa bed for everyday use. And dont really have room to pull one out. I did have a small single matress on floor for a while which I folded and secured to store away.
Bit of an on going saga and interested to see if any other suggestions. Have even considered a shed in the garden!

StealthMama · 03/04/2020 07:28

It will be a bit if a pain pulling it out and tidying away every night/day but if you think that's your only option. Surely the kids would be fine sharing a while longer, it's not like they're having mates over etc ? What ages are they?

Nixen · 03/04/2020 07:29

I would make the kids share or keep the younger one in with you?

Original poster

Soggyundercarriage · 03/04/2020 07:36

Eldest is 13 and youngest is 5
We've shared with youngest since birth and we're sick of not having own space. Although we won't have our own space in the lounge I guess.
We had promised our eldest a larger room and he's been so good all these years that I really wanted it for him.
We were thinking that things will be unstable for some time so will be staying for a while so considered giving eldest our room and youngest the small room and we stay downstairs.
When the lockdown is over then at least they'll have a place of their own to see a friend etc

OP posts:

Elephantonascooter · 03/04/2020 07:40

Jesus make the kids share. I shared up until the age of 14 and it hasn't done any lasting damage. You need space too

Ponoka7 · 03/04/2020 07:46

It depends on your combined weights and how easy you sleep, because sofa beds aren't as comfortable as a bed. You need to buy the most expensive sofa bed with the best reviews that you can afford.

Other than that, your plan makes sense. Life won't quite be back to normal this year. Unless we all find out that we've had it and are immune, of course.

SuperMeerkat · 03/04/2020 07:48

You must keep making them share. They’re kids and shouldn’t be ruling the roost. The lockdown is rubbish for everyone and why should you lose your privacy just so they can have separate rooms? You’re doing your best and you can explain that a move is on the cards ASAP.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/04/2020 07:49

I think you would have more private space than you have right now Tbh. You can’t put your dcs in together as your 13 yo needs a private space to study atm so this does seem like a reasonable solution.

If you want to sell, you don’t want a child’s stamp on your room and a 13 yo can have more adult taste.... Would be nice for your 13 yo to have a double, I’m sure!

As for the sofa bed, they’re not terribly big or comfortable unfortunately. You could also consider a couple of thin single mattresses, which you could put in the loft for viewings (if you have a loft). They also prop easily against the wall if you have wall space or with waterproof mattress protectors could make a great soft play area for your 5yo.

Mumdiva99 · 03/04/2020 07:49

It sounds like a sensible plan to me if it works for your family. As you will still need a wardrobe, clothes to be stored somewhere etc I might put younger child and his toys in larger room still with your stuff, and leave older boy in smaller room but it will be 'just his' and can be redecorated at his choice. But whatever works best for your family.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 03/04/2020 07:51

Let the kids share

SparkyBlue · 03/04/2020 07:54

I don't see how your children can't share. They will be fine. Mine have an almost seven year gap and I've no intention of moving ever again so they will have to suck it up. Actually right now we have three children sharing as we had to turn my DS bedroom into a temporary home office and we are shocked at how well it is working

Turtletotem · 03/04/2020 07:57

Could you go into the small room and be creative with underbed storage etc then put some temporary partition in the larger room for the children?

hels71 · 03/04/2020 08:01

The children should share. There are 4 years and 12 years between me and my sister's and we managed to share until we left home.

GreyishDays · 03/04/2020 08:04

What would the 13 yr old do at 9pm though? If they share and the 5 yr old is in their room asleep.
You kind of need to imagine every point in the day to check it doesn’t make it worse from how it is now.

Fidgety31 · 03/04/2020 08:05

Depends on the kids and if they have any additional needs .
My 11 yr old shares with me as he has autism and his 18yr old brother has it too - they can’t possibly share without constant killing each other .

I would keep the 5 yr old in with you . 5 is still very small anyway

StealthMama · 03/04/2020 08:06

I'd have them share longer at that age it's fine, assuming 5yo is a good sleeper and prob spends most time awake downstairs playing, then older one has some privacy anyway during the day. I get what your saying but your own room isn't a reward for good behaviour, it's just available, or not.

You can make a big thing out of getting their own rooms when you actually move.

You need to stay sane too remember - I don't think sleeping in the living room and extra hassle is worth it.

KellyHall · 03/04/2020 08:07

We have a one bed flat and gave dd the bedroom whe she was 9 months old, we got an Ikea pull out corner sofabed - it's huge and very comfy, with storage under one end for all of the bedding.

It works fine for us

Faie · 03/04/2020 08:09

Dont do it!

DP and I spent over 2 years on an air bed in the front room, it is so unbelievably shit

choppolata · 03/04/2020 08:10

As a pp said, partition off the larger room for the kids or give them bunkbeds. Youngest on bottom with curtains so the 13yo can still use the room. You won't get privacy in the lounge in the mornings.

Makinganewthinghappen · 03/04/2020 08:12

We have older children sharing with younger children.

When we moved into this house our daughter who is 15 chose to share with our 4 year old . She has plenty of space to study - the younger is downstairs all day and my 15 year old can hide out in her room alone as much as she wants.

I think it does them good! The “room mate” teams we have are incredibly close regardless of age.

SunshineCake · 03/04/2020 08:14

Now isn't the time for wanting it for him. The situation means everyone has to make changes and sacrifices and the kids sharing until it is over and you can move is an obvious one.

StrongTea · 03/04/2020 08:14

Is buying a large shed an option? Not for sleeping in but for either a playhouse or study area type of thing.

Makinganewthinghappen · 03/04/2020 08:14

When it gets to the you gets bedtime my teenager just lies in bed watching her phone or reading with a lamp / drawing. It’s never been a problem. In fact I think the younger one finds its soothing to have her there!

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