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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gutted we will have to stay but to try and make it work

130 replies

Soggyundercarriage · 03/04/2020 07:20

We were ready to sell our tiny house and plan was to rent for a while. We have massively outgrown this house and I'm gutted we have to stay now.
We have two dc in a 2 bed modern house that is very small. There is a large age gap so can't share and rooms aren't big enough anyway.
Well now we're stuck so WIBU to buy a sofa bed and sleep downstairs while the dc have a room each. There isn't a spare soon downstairs so we would be sleeping in the lounge.
Would this work in reality do you think?

OP posts:
Yester · 03/04/2020 08:16

All 2 of mine shared until DS was 13 (with a 2 and 6 year age gap) was fine.

BuffaloCauliflower · 03/04/2020 08:16

The kids can share. Not ideal but better than you in the living room, you deserve private space too. I shared with my DS who’s 8 years younger well into my teens. You just get on with it.

Circe32 · 03/04/2020 08:17

Bunk beds. I shared with my sister in a very small room until I left home at 17. The age gap is 4.5 yrs, so it is doable. Make sure that the elder understands that it is a temporary measure.

SoloMummy · 03/04/2020 08:18

How old are the children?

Surely the situation hasn't really changed, just delayed. So if they shared to date is 6 months more really such an issue?

Scruffyoak · 03/04/2020 08:19

I think you should. I would because of the age gap.

Morgan12 · 03/04/2020 08:19

I'd let them have a room each and get a sofa bed.

SnoozyLou · 03/04/2020 08:20

You sound like a lovely mum - far lovelier than me. There is no way on god's green earth I'd be packing up my bed every night so my kids could have a room each.

Bunk beds.

LemonBreeland · 03/04/2020 08:20

I can't believe you've shared with a child for 5 years rather than put them in with their sibling. No matter how small the room you can fit bunkbeds in surely.

SoloMummy · 03/04/2020 08:20

Why would the 13 years old need the biggest room when presumably the younger has more toys that need real space versus electronics?

OptimisticSix · 03/04/2020 08:22

We did this for a couple of years. We had two click clack sofa beds in our lounge. They were really comfy but a little narrow so often we'd sleep on one each. It wasn't ideal by it was worth it to us as we had four children and they couldn't all share Grin

DivGirl · 03/04/2020 08:27

If both children have the same parents then I'd make them share. You and your partner can have the smaller room, give them both the larger room.

If they don't then surely you just keep going with your current situation? If that's completely untenable then a sofa bed could work. Agree with not giving the 13 year old the larger room though, little kids need way more space than older ones.

NotSorry · 03/04/2020 08:34

Two of my boys shared until the eldest went to uni at 18. Seriously, they will have to share until you can move.

scubadive · 03/04/2020 08:36

Yes I would definitely move downstairs, their own space will make the lockdown easier. You don’t need a bedroom during the day so a bit of a waste of space when space so limited.

It’s good you stated in the property market while interest rates are so low, rather than renting so don’t be too downhearted.

scubadive · 03/04/2020 08:37

Stayed not started

Original poster
Soggyundercarriage · 03/04/2020 08:40

Thanks for all the ideas.. will read later when I have time.
Just to add that the small bedroom is a box room. It's width is less than a standard bed.

OP posts:
WtfIsThisEven · 03/04/2020 08:40

I can’t believe everyone saying the kids have to share. No way would I make a 13yo share with a 5yo. I would have absolutely hated that as a teenager.

Yes I would get a sofa bed and sleep in the living room. You’d have more space than you do now sharing with a 5yo.

Friendsofmine · 03/04/2020 08:42

I would take the advice of the people who have done it.

Quickquestion2020 · 03/04/2020 08:42

The kids need to share. You cant sleep on the sofa so they have their own room. His friends would destroy him if they found out on a sleepover.

Friendsofmine · 03/04/2020 08:42

Above those who are suggesting you do it but have no idea what you're in for!

welshladywhois40 · 03/04/2020 08:52

Switch bedrooms and make it project the 13 year old can get involved in. So if you can get the double in the smaller room - you both move their and the children get the bigger room so atleast they get more space.

Growing up I shared with my sister - we had the biggest bedroom and plenty of space between us. When she got to teen years by parents put a partition up.

Now you don't have to go that far but maybe you can create virtual barrier that helps the kids have their own space

StSaulOfSnacks · 03/04/2020 08:52

Kids can share.

xoxoluna · 03/04/2020 08:55

Let the kids share. I used to share bedroom with my sister and she's 10 years older than me. I don't really see what the age gap problem is tbh. Unless your youngest is a daughter?

Alez · 03/04/2020 08:57

Surprised your considering this tbh! I would make then share - it's obviously not ideal but also not unfair in the situation you're in - 2 people per bedroom. If you can I would try and make some privacy for the kids though e g. By putting up curtains or a movable partition in the room. They'll be able to hear each other but it's better than nothing. You also need clear rules for when your oldest does his schoolwork on where the youngest can play.

DarkDarkNight · 03/04/2020 08:58

It’s not for ever as you say. In your position I would have the 5 year old in with me a bit longer.

1forsorrow · 03/04/2020 09:01

I think people who are saying let them share as it never did them any harm aren't thinking about how things are now. The eldest definitely needs somewhere to hangout and do homework etc. You all need to be able to have somewhere private so to be able to send them off to their rooms might save your sanity. I think your lounge come bedroom would have to have some rules about it being private. I know a couple who did the same with a similar age gap in children. They hoped to move but it never happened. Eventually the older one went off to uni and they decided to stay where they were.