Gutted we will have to stay but to try and make it work

[Soggyundercarriage]

We were ready to sell our tiny house and plan was to rent for a while. We have massively outgrown this house and I'm gutted we have to stay now.
We have two dc in a 2 bed modern house that is very small. There is a large age gap so can't share and rooms aren't big enough anyway.
Well now we're stuck so WIBU to buy a sofa bed and sleep downstairs while the dc have a room each. There isn't a spare soon downstairs so we would be sleeping in the lounge.
Would this work in reality do you think?

I would put both children in bigger bedroom to share.

You and dh move into small box room which can be a small double mattress squeezed in if needed. Make custom bed frame from simple wooden cubes so a)its a bit higher, b) underneath storage. Pinterest ideas.

I wouldn't want to be in living room, as then your all stuck if one of you is tired early or ill. If say you are ready to sleep at 9pm, surely 13/14/15 year old would then prefer to stay up and use living room, than forced into bedroom. And you and your dh will often want to sleep earlier than the other for whatever reason. Plus one of you can still have a lie in then, whilst other adult gets up with children.

Some ideas that might help:

1. buy decent wireless headphones for teenager. They can then watch things, or listen to music in shared bedroom or shared living room with disturbing younger.
2. allow teenager to use your bed in boxroom to chill if younger is asleep or younger has friends over.
3. playhouse in garden for some of 5 year olds toys.

Its not perfect, but life changes. Right now you can just talk to whole family explaining situation. Teenager will have to understand that due to all of this, paths change and maybe between you all you can come up with ideas to help to all live together in small ish space.

A small 2 bed house, for 4 people is as you say, cramped at times. But lots will have it far worse, in much worse housing etc.

They need to share. Bunk beds and desk

13 does work in room in day and younger plays downstairs

Then in evening 5 goes to bed and older hangs out downstairs and sneaks into sleep

I really don’t understand why they haven’t been sharing for years

The children should share. I shared a bedroom with my two sisters until I left home at 22. There was 9 years between me and my youngest sister.

If you do go for the sofa bed this one might be an idea: www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/flekke-day-bed-w-2-drawers-2-mattresses-white-malfors-medium-firm-s39129945/

Lots of children share rooms nowadays despite some poster's insisting every child needs their own room.

If I think about my neighbours, both sides have children sharing. One said has a 12 year old and 1 year old sharing and the other has a 16 year old and a 9 year old sharing.

Also quite a few other neighbours have children sharing. One even has 2 sons in their 20's sharing. The bedrooms in our houses are pretty small too.

I can’t believe how many think they should share ... disgusting

^This has made my morning. How utterly ridiculous.

I don’t think it would do them any harm to share in the short term OP, especially as they are both boys. I had to share with my sister for a couple of years (7 year age gap) and survived the experience. The only issue is that you’d presumably need to order a set of bunk beds if your box room is that small. Was your 5 year old in a single bed in your room, or in your bed?

@WtfIsThisEven maybe you would have hated it but not every child can have his or her own room.

My parents had a 2 bed council house. 3 daughters meant the council said they did not need a bigger house. So we all shared until I left home at 22.

I guess it would have been nice to have my own room but I wasn't selfish enough to hate sharing. At least I had a single bed. My middle sister who is only 2 years younger than me had to have a bunk bed until I left.

Just let the kids share for the time being. It's not like the 13-year-old is going to be having friends over any time soon. This is just a temporary setback. They might even appreciate the company at the moment. My two have been sharing a room and they never share.

You can still get the ball rolling in terms of getting your house ready to rent, registering it with agents or openrent. Looking for a new property. Fingers crossed it won't be long.

Could you get a Murphy bed? More expensive usually but well worth the cost to be able to have a proper mattress.

It's not ideal at all but I would look at a sofa bed.
DH and I moved to the smaller room a few years ago, giving teen DS the bigger (and somewhat nicer) room. Our rationale was that he spends most of his time in his room whereas we only sleep in ours. We removed the need for his detritus to be scattered around every surface of the house, and gave him a functional space where he can study, play guitar, hang out with friends etc.
I would put ground rules in place first, toys etc need to stay in rooms, no popping down at night after a certain time (unless ill etc) and no early morning appearances (if the five year old can grasp that)
You've already said you have no privacy as it is so it's not like you're losing that aspect.

You can see the privilege on this thread from some posters, especially the one who genuinely seems to think it's disgusting for them to have to share a room.

Honestly.

They can share in the interim. If you/OH are going out for food runs then you/they are more likely to get infected. Better to isolate in your room then have to rejig if infected. They can wait.

@lynsey91 It's not 'selfish' to not want to share a room.

I would carry on as you are for the time being. I've been there as I have twins and one is disabled and needed his own room, so I shared with his brother. We eventually got a bigger place and we all have our own rooms and it was worth the wait. I know it sucks not having your own space, but it is only temporary.

I shared a box room with 2 of my older sisters, did us no harm. They were in bunk beds and I had a home made raised bed which went over the stairs bit.

We had thick curtains hung up for each of us so if we needed privacy we just pulled our curtains shut.

Do not sleep in the living room, you both NEED proper sleep and proper rest.

Could you do a floor plan with measurements? We've had to come up with some creative solutions- 5 of us in a 3 bed but tiny box room, small middle bedroom and a miniature bathroom.

@motherheroic it is when your parents have to sacrifice a proper bed for you to have it.

If it's a case of having somewhere private in the evenings, can't they share a bedroom, but eldest one have access to your bedroom to use laptop/call friends/whatever after the youngest has gone to bed and before you do?
Not ideal, but sounds preferable to sleeping in the lounge.

I shared with my sister who is ten years older than me until I was 11.

There’s a difference between sharing a room with similar age siblings, and a teenager sharing with a 5yo. If any of you can actually think back to your teenage angst years and say you would be quite happy to share a room with a five year old, quite frankly I don’t believe you.

All the teens I know basically live in their rooms. They enjoy privacy, obnoxious music, posters on the wall, space to read and revise, and their own style. None I know would enjoy sharing a room with a 5yo, their toys and an obviously very different stage of life.

Teenagers in my own personal experience, and that of my own teens, already feel like they have very little control. You’re not an adult, but not a kid, so desperate to find out who you are, going through puberty and all that goes with that, yeah I do think they deserve their own personal bedroom. Or at the very least if they have to share, a similar age same sex sibling. Not a kid barely out of nappies.

MN is a very odd place sometimes.

Is the 5 year old a boy or a girl because personally you cannot get a 5 year old girl to share with a 13 year old boy

Why not?
If you're concerned about sexual abuse, I was abused by a brother two years older than me and we didn't share a bedroom.

People these days are obsessed with all the kids having their own rooms.

I hate to be a 'in my day' person but I didn't get my own room until I left home for uni. I shared the box room with my sister, 6 years younger than me, all though my GCSEs and A Levels. My 4 brothers all shared too. It's been of no detriment to any of us.

I would never have expected my parents to sleep in the living room or any where else so we could have our own rooms. Totally ludicrous.

They'll just have to lump it until you can move.

I can’t believe posters actually think that there is anything wrong with sharing.
Most children I know share with a sibling.
I have a four bedroomed house and have three dc. My two dd’s share a room ,my ds has his own room and the other room has been converted to a study.
I know people who have two bedroomed houses/ flats and have three kids in one room.
Sleeping in the living room is not a necessity in your situation

@motherheroic it certainly is selfish. Plenty of children have to share. Often 3 or more to a room.

Why on earth should the parent(s) sleep in the living room just so each child can have a room? That's just crazy. As is the OP having had the younger child share with her and her partner for 5 years. So no privacy when in bed!

It's not 'selfish' to not want to share a room

It is if it means ejecting your parents from theirs.

Goodness me.. Just to let you know that I'm not getting in a froth about this. It was a casual question not a life or death one!!
I don't want my kids to share, we're not privilaged or weird. As I said my eldest would share but I'd like them to have space of their own. Same for the younger.
I realise people have shared since the dawn of time but I'd like to do it our way..
Thanks for all the ideas, certainly alot to mull over