Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

[Defenbaker]

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

I am very sorry @ VanGoghsDog I had missed that your dad's condition was that advanced. Please accept my apologies, I must read more carefully. I saw the second part of the sentence and thought he could go out.

I agree telling people they shouldn't go out for their own good probably isn't wise. I guess that if the man OP encountered had something serious he would probably know that himself and not have been there.

Very sorry to have been so insensitive, I truly missed that part of your post and must read more slowly. Please forgive me, last thing I wanted to do was be insensitive at such a difficult time.

Sorry above is to @VanGoghsDog, typo

Kilisibird, I don't get you. You are not meant to go out unless necessary. Either the cough was because of lung disease, or athma, or anything, you have a underlying condition. It makes sense to stay at home, for your own health, and for other people who maybe really scared of this.
Honestly, would you be happy if someone shopping in the same place was coughing all over the place? Think "oh, that person may have something else, not cv"? I don't.

Of course it's your business if someone is coughing repeatedly in your vicinity. If he had cancer he should be at home - his partner could shop for him. If you don't cough into a tissue or your elbow then there is no excuse in the current climate , you are a selfish arsehole and should expect to be challenged. YNBU

If I were you I would tell your mum she is not to leave the house under any circumstances. End of story.

I can't speak for @VanGoghsDog but I know what my own mum would say if I told her that...

Under the circumstances, regardless of the cause, a cough is going to worry people. If it was me I probably would have left but I don’t think I would have said anything.

YANBU all we hear is that this potentially fatal virus causes a cough. Anyone would be worried

Jesus Christ.
My mum has a persistent dry cough due to COPD that is relatively minor. If you’d spoken to her like that I’d have told you to fuck off and mind your own business! This isn’t Nazi Germany.

Either the cough was because of lung disease, or athma, or anything, you have a underlying condition. It makes sense to stay at home, for your own health, and for other people who maybe really scared of this

Nobody has to stay in because they might scare others. That's ridiculous.

As for the others, I don't know if it had been mentioned but actually shielding is optional.

From the Gov website.

Shielding is for your personal protection. It is your choice to decide whether to follow the measures we advise. Individuals who have been given a prognosis of less than 6 months to live, and some others in special circumstances, could decide not to undertake shielding. This will be a deeply personal decision. We advise calling your GP or specialist to discuss this.

So if people have lung cancer or other health issues and choose to go out that is absolutely ok.

OP I have reported the poster saying they are not a violent person, but I would have hit you lots. There is no excuse to suggest someone should be physically assaulted for having a difference of opinion.

Crazy, as the man coughing everywhere could so easily have stayed at home of brought tissues and kept a distance.

Tbh I would be as rude as possible to you if you did this to me because it's rude, patronising and pathetic af. You really don't have the right.

There's a difference between preferring he wasn't there and bothering him with your shit, telling him he shouldn't shop and should leave, questioning him about his cough etc. I'd be freaked out if a stranger did this to me, VERY weird.

Reading some of the posts on here it's probably only a matter of time before our world descends into zombie apocalypse movie terrority.

It's already started with people being shunned and questioned for coughing. It will progress to people being shoved and pushed for couging to being assaulted for coughing to beaten to death for coughing.

Maybe people with a cough should paint red crosses on the door and wear bells round their necks.

If someone choose to go out with cough, at least they should take precautions.
Honestly, there is no way to tell the difference, even for themselves. I have persistent cough, for years. I am coughing now. I don't know if it's my regular cough, or I have cv. I am well enough to go out, but I don't.
And if I had to go out and someone questioned my coughing, and if I am 100% sure it's not cv, I would be happy to answer. But at the same time, I can totally see the point of people being scared. So I don't.

@saraclara - fair point, well made. I was a bit pushy, I admit that. He was being careless about his hygiene and under the circumstances it made me feel very anxious, not just for me but everyone in the shop.

As for the posts comparing me to military police... for daring to suggest that it might be better to wait outside while his partner shops - really?!? He was potentially infecting everyone aound him by coughing repeatedly into the air, with no attempt to contain his cough, despite having both hands free. If you saw someone coughing like that near your elderly/vulnerable relative, would you be happy about that sort of behaviour? In truth EVERYONE is vulnerable to this awful virus, and there's not a lot of fresh air circulating in shops, so everyone needs to be more aware and careful, IMO.

Re the PP about people naming and shaming others on Facebook for not clapping the NHS, etc, please do not compare me to those people, because I am nothing like them, and I think that's appalling behaviour. The clapping thing is a nice gesture of thanks, but people shouldn't be forced into it. Covering your mouth when coughing is far more important than kind gestures, IMO.

OP I'm wondering how the posters calling you rude would feel if the next time they shop he's stood behind them coughing all over them without using his elbow or tissues.

Of course they won't say anything as they feel his droplets of gunk spray them. Wouldn't want to offend someone by suggesting they use a tissue.

My husband has a persistent cough because of medication. Because of people like you he is actually too scared to leave the house. (there is no way he would go out if he was unwell). So all tasks now fall to me. Thanks for creating this type of situation and feeling among people that are not unwell.

Mumdiva, but how can you be so sure your dh's cough now is nothing to do with this virus?
Most of people will not get very ill, and those are the ones end up spreading virus.
I am not scared to leave the house because of expected reactions from others, I choose not to. Because I don't know for sure. Yes, my dh has to do all the shopping etc, but he is not complaining. He says with my cough, I would make the supermarket empty in no time.

Obviously this man should have been coughing into his arm or a tissue, no excuse for not doing that at any time, but although I understand why people are alarmed, I'm finding the current stigma attached to coughing quite alarming.

My DH has asthma, is prone to chest infections and spends at least a third to half of the year with a cough.

NHS coronavirus guidelines state that the cough can persist several weeks after the virus has gone, so over the coming months the majority of us could potentially all be coughing. I suppose that we'll just have to trust that people have done their time in isolation from when their cough or symptoms started.

So in my view, pointing out that someone should be coughing into their arm or a tissue is not unreasonable, but I don't think that it's okay to interrogate strangers about their coughs.

@Enough4me thanks for reporting the "not violent" person for their virtual violent response. ☺

You hit the nail on the head, I think others would also find themselves feeling anxious and annoyed about someone coughing openly into the air nearby, in a shop.

People are saying they would just leave the shop, but I was shopping for essentials, so didn't have much choice but to run the gauntlet and hope for the best. Next week I'm going to get a Morrisons foodbox, the delivery charge is worth every penny of avoiding the shops right now.

For the love of God, mind your own business. So many people seem to have turned into officious, self-righteous busybodies. It may give them a momentary thrill to believe they are somehow Fighting the Good Fight or Protecting the Vulnerable or whatever nonsense they have managed to convince themselves. But it achieves nothing, other than to prove to the world what idiots they are.

Interrogating someone about his medical condition and history is really not the responsibility of a random person in the supermarket. Seriously.

Defenbake I've not read all the post but I think you were very brave to speak to him.

There are a lot of reasons why anyone would cough.

But it is also possible to have a lot of reasons to cough and one of those could be Covid 19.

It wasn't just that he had a cough, you said "He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough".

I think that is very selfish.

If you want to get other views on this you could ask for it to be moved to Coronavirus section instead of AIBU.

I don't think you should have said anything to him. As you admitted, someone can have a cough without Coronavirus. My husband used to cough every morning, a dry cough, on his way to the bathroom and whilst in there, then when he went outside to the car. There was nothing wrong with him. I also cough sometimes, quite a bit in quick succession, a mildly allergic thing. Children frequently do.

He wouldn't have been out had he suspected he had the dreaded C virus. He told you he'd been seen by a doctor, you then asked if he had been tested - how many people are tested?

You're not the Corona police, op.

This negligence of people saying you are not Corona police, there's many other reason for coughing, etc, gonna kill the country. I don't think everyone is stupid. But one person's stupidity can cause the virus to spread to many. Now is not the time to take any chances.