Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

[Defenbaker]

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

Or just stay at home and his partner shops alone. It isn't hard to use common sense.

@Enough4me If they're elderly, it's probably that they don't have transport and have to carry bags home. And they might not be strong enough to carry much. Them both going means they can halve their number of trips (which will still need to be more frequent than that of the person who can fill their trolley and stuff the boot of their car with a week's worth of stuff).

This is gross, anyone who has coughing problems would generally be in the shielding group anyway.
I never did like how people think its OK to walk around coughing everywhere anyway.
I smoke and have a cough occasionally, but no way would I cough in public now. If I couldn't be sure I could contain any cough for the duration of my trip I wouldn't go out. Disgusting.

TealWater posted

"You were definitely not being unreasonable. You gave him a chance to say why he was coughing... If it is a person with a regular cough, surely they would be aware of themselves and endeavour to set people's minds at ease if they catch people looking at them. The fact he shrugged it away is more than enough to justify what you said. And, I note that he mentioned going to the Drs and not having it, FIRST. You didn't, he did. Which exonerates you asking if he had specifically been tested for it."

@TealWater - thanks for that, you've explained it much better than I did, in my long rambling posts. I didn't set out with the idea of grilling him on his medical hisfory, I just tentatively suggested it might be a good idea to wait outside while his partner shopped. I was too embarassed to lecture him about not using a tissue, etc, as he was a grown man, not a child, and I did say it gently but he was so casual about the subject it spoke volumes that he wasn't worried so he couldn't see why his repeated (uncovered mouth) coughing would bother anyone else. His partner carried the basket, while he walked quickly up and down the aisles, and the pair of them looked around 35, and neither were overweight.

@peterlon1 I'm sorry to hear about all your health issues and difficulties with shopping. Have you thought about ordering a Morrisons food box, to tide you over? My MIL was very pleased with hers, it's enough to keep a couple going for about a week, so maybe 2 weeks for someone living alone. If you go on the website after midnight the stock availability sometimes reappears, after hours of showing no stock available.

I'm genuinely sorry that my post has made some people with long term coughs feel that they are being treated as social pariahs, it was never my intention to imply that they shouldn't leave the house. The man in this instance was thoughtless about personal hygiene, that is really why I spoke to him. We were about 2 metres apart the whole time, and whilst I admit I was taking a risk speaking to him at all, I spoke in a quiet calm tone of voice. I admit I crossed a line in asking about the test, but that was because I felt he was lying to me and missing the point a bit.

I've never confronted a stranger in this way before, and don't intend to again. These times have made me fearful, for me and everyone else. Stay safe everyone.

This attitude that the person challenging a person with bad behaviour is WORSE then the offender is moral cowardice. It's what has diminished so much of what was great about the UK...The home owner challenges the burglar and he's in court... we all know the stories.

Fascism? Do me a favour. OP didn't ship him off to a camp!! Video after video of policemen - working WITHOUT masks - BEGGING people to go home. Its absurd nonsense and dangerous that the cougher's or non-social distancer rights beats everyone else.

When did Britain become such a bunch of selfish armchair bystanders accusing people of fascism the minute they take a stand at behaviour that could kill someone?! Every shopper there should have told him to cover up or go home because they were all at potential risk.

This pandemic, just like WW2 simply reveals the moral cowards among us - people will die because of this bystander mentality.

Walk on by: Why do we ignore bad behaviour?
www.theguardian.com/science/2020/apr/05/walk-on-by-why-do-we-ignore-bad-behaviour-

I'd say it's bystander fear, if we speak the truth we risk having people really turn on us. I can understand why the OP doesn't feel like speaking up again.

@bruffin Doubt away, your choice. I hope you never get asked to do jury duty though, because your ability to discern the truth is way off the mark.

Video after video of policemen - working WITHOUT masks - BEGGING people to go home
We must be watching different videos. I sw one yesterday where the policeman kicked sand on a couples barbecue.
That's not begging or asking. That's telling.
I saw another (admittedly from the US) where they were manhandling people back.
No I don't agree with the barbecue and the US one was a child party on the street and no I don't agree with the party.
But police here and abroad do their job with our consent. They have been told multiple times to try a nicer approach.
If they dont try harder at being nicer, they could well lose our consent.
Also pretty sure the police dont do interrogation like OP.

@Bananabixfloof I don't know, I actually think the police are being too nice, and therefore people are not taking this seriously enough. Time for the police to actually get serious and start coming down hard on people, even if that means fines/arrest. Unlike police truly clamp down and stop being too weak, people are not going to stop flouting the law - why should they, if there are no consequences and the police have their hands tied and are too nice? Time for some actual policing. It's taken far too long.

*unlike should be unless