At The End Of My Tether With Cat

[Moodymagpie]

We have 2 female cats a 6 year old bengal and a 2 year old siamese.

The siamese is driving me nuts.

She was perfectly fine up until 6 months ago when our littlest DD was born when siamese suddenly became kitty from hell. She's destructive, she always used to use her cat tree, now she's tagging carpets, bedding, furniture, climbing curtains ect. She's become aggressive to our bengal, who is the most gentle and non aggressive cat ever.

But the worst thing is she's stopped using her litter tray... We have a total of 3 litter boxes in our house.. One for each cat and one spare.

She's a Fing nightmare.

She pees on all the baby clothes, the cot, shits on the carpet in the nursery, shits right next to the litter box.

The back door is open during the day now as the weather is warming up.. She won't go out and do her business. I've tried everything

Locking the doors, she meowls and doesn't stop,

Clean the litter box daily and scoop and soon as its been used. She refuses to use it.

I've taken her to the vet incase she had an underlying health problem. She doesn't. Shes just being a bastard.

I've tried feliway, Orange peel, pepper, bleach

I've even locked her outside for a few hours... As soon as she came in she went straight to the clean pile of baby washing and peed all over it.

She's currently locked in the shed with food, water her bed and a litter box.

Please help. I don't know what else to do and I don't want to rehome her. I know the baby is a huge change for her and she's stressed...

@BubblyBarbara

That's a really ill-informed opinion

Yes we do use meds to treat people with psychological disorders (including children) and yes when animals have similar mental health problems they deserve the same quality of treatment. or do you think it's ethical to deny evidence-based therapy to people and animals?

Meds alongside appropriate environmental modification have been shown to result in faster and better treatment outcomes for animals with behavioural disorders.
I suggest you educate yourself

Honestly, I would rehome your cat. You sound loving and caring but you have enough on your plate. I can’t believe the vitriol that’s been directed at you.

You say you love the cat, but your posts contradict that. My dog has behaviour issues, it's a constant struggle, but I love her to bits because she has the most amazing personality.

However, if I felt she was unhappy I would look for solutions, not shut her away. Yes, you may have removed her from the situation, but what have you actually done to try and help her? She's clearly not happy, so do something to try and help her.

To be honest, it sounds like you've had enough now the new baby has come along. Why don't you re-home her through a breed specific rescue?

The young cat has reached an age where she wants her own territory. Cats establish territory but urinating and scratching. She's constantly doing it because she hasn't managed to get any territory of her own.
Undesirable but normal behaviour. Lots of cats cannot live with other cats in one house

Siamese are sensitive souls who adore their people - she will be highly stressed being locked away. Do you have time to set aside to nurturing her each day? Siamese have a ‘love tank’ and if it runs empty they become deeply unhappy. She needs quality 1-on-1 time with her family. If you really can’t manage that, it would be kinder to rehome her to someone who has time for her.

I'm not ever going to dope my pet into submission with psychoactive drugs designed for humans if that's what you're suggesting. I'm just surprised that's even a thing, I'd never heard of it before this thread. If it works and you can do it, great for you.

I really hope that you're a troll op

BubblyBarbara your posts are not just ignorant, almost as if you have no knowledge whatsoever of neurochemistry, but also offensive to people with mental health issues.

Also, if you do rehome her, please consider going via a Siamese specific rescue or at least stipulate a home with Siamese experienced owners. They are very different to moggies (I have both and love them both equally, but Siamese need a different, more intense type of care). Siamese fall in love with their owners and are heartbroken at any separation or reduction in attention.

Some of you posters on here have been an absolute disgrace. A bullying baying mob.
THIS.
I'm not surprised OP hasn't been back.

What checks/tests have been done by a vet?

A few people have recommended a cat behavioural specialist. Are you going to try that?

I love MN. People get to be absolute cunts to OPs, and when one OP dares to bite back, those same cunts get all offended and fling "you are so angry!" accusations... Nah loves, somebody does not put up with your little bullying, do not be surprised. In real life, you would get booted out of the door at best.

OP, good luck with the bastard cat. I love those critters to death, but sometimes they get too particular, though no fault of yours.

Zylkene will help with this problem. Use the 75mg capsules. Open one up and sprinkle the contents over her food - wet or dry. One each day. Kitty will be chilled in no time. In addition to this, you can also use a plug in Feliway Diffuser which can help calm cats.

The cat is obviously distressed and needs support, not to be punished.

I'd put my washing away before I locked my pet in the shed ffs.

Are you sure she doesn’t have cystitis? The only true way to know is an ultrasound or pee sample, did vet do one of those?

For the scratching we had great results with positive reinforcement for the scratch pad. My cat only likes to scratch downwards so we use the flat scratch mats rather than posts. I put her on it and gave her a dreamie, then every time she used it gave her dreamies.

She has toileting problems, we had to find a specific (expensive) litter that she’ll use, she likes a fine grain clumping litter, have you tried different kinds? I also give dreamies when I see her use the litter.

We can’t have any fabric on the floor- rugs, clothes, door mats, or she’ll pee on it- can you take all fabric off of the floor?

Are the litter trays in quiet out of the way places in the house?

Another tip we got from the vet is to clean up pee with biological laundry liquid, it works as an enzymatic cleaner and destroys the smell in a way that bleach won’t.

You have my sympathies because it’s an absolute nightmare, however we are still working on it because we love her.

Ps you might get better results from your question in the Litter Tray section of mumsnet.

How many litter trays do you have as rule of thumb is one for each cat plus a spare, so I would possibly add more trays and try her on Zylkene as that can really help a stress cat.

I'd re-post in the www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray section.

Though like PP I'd ask if you have any cat shelves /beds so they can get up high away from the kids in the house itself.

Othrwise I'd make sure your using a deodorizing spray - that gets rid of any smell everytime - and perhaps try putting extra litter trays if there are any persistant areas of urination.

If you can get a behaviourist that sounds ideal - otherwise Jackson galaxy on you tube for other suggestions.

I do get why you're stressed - young kids with a baby and a cat messing around the house is the last thing needed.

Animal abuse? Seriously, some of you lead sheltered lives if that's what you think this is.
OP I get it, you are frustrated. I have a dog with dementia (he has a plethora of other ailments and conditions too), and I adore him but he tests my patience. It isn't his fault but I have to do my duty as an owner. It doesn't mean I can't feel angry/sad etc as his behaviour very much affects me.
You do need to make a difficult decision in that you try the behavioural training, medication or whatnot. Ultimately you need to make the time to help your cat. If you can't, you need to rehome to someone who can. Letting your cat stay this unhappy and stressed is not fair.

I think, OP that the best thing would be to find another home for the cat.

Many, many years ago we had to sadly rehome a female cat under same circumstances. I just couldn't cope with the piss and shit all over babies things, and nothing we tried helped her adjust/settle.

However, my present cat 'overlord' came to live with me because he was doing exactly the same things in exactly the same situation. I felt sorry for both the cat and the family (my DD, DSIL and baby GS).

The cat hasn't been unclean in my house in the 2 years since he arrived. He settled in immediately and is obviously happy.

Sometimes, you have to do what you may hate yourself for at the moment in order to keep your sanity. You have an unhappy cat who deserves to have a happier, calmer life.

OP that sounds really stressful, with 3 children one of them so teeny. Time out in a wonderful sounding cat shed so you've time to collect yourself and sort out the mess seems a good idea. Not sure what else you can do. Cats pick up on stress. My cat went a bit bonkers when I had my baby 10 months ago for a few months and it turned out it was because I was too possessive of the baby. Worried about her pawing over my PFB but have relaxed now and she is much calmer and loves him. Not necessarily what would work in this case.

If you have tried everything then it's a shit situation, but for your sake and hers, maybe rehoming would be the best option. It's not the end of the world, my childhood pet was a much loved rehomed cat! Situations change and you just have tomdo what's best in this new one.

I can’t help but I wanted to say that when you actually RTFT it helps with an informed response! I don’t think you sound cruel just stressed and tired with a 6 month old and 18 month old no wonder

Good luck with whatever you decide to do next x

OP please ignore the accusations of animal abuse, these people are fucking batshit crazy.

OP this sounds very stressful. Really think it's worth visiting the vets again as I'm sure there are medications that can help with this. What suggestions have they made previously?

Also yabvu to not post pictures of said cat

Every post regarding dog misbehaviour on Mumsnet is met with utter horror at dogs and their potential to do wrong, I’m finding it quite amusing that it flips completely when it’s a cat.

OP. It must be really tough with three kids and this going on, you must feel like you’re losing your mind! Do seek help from the likes of Vicky Halls but don’t feel terrible if you rehome your cat, it might be that she would be fine in a less hectic set up, maybe with two retired people who’d have a lot more time to spend on her.

Next time get a moggy...

Hi Op
It's clear you love your cat and having young children is really stressful and demanding. Clearly your siamese must have a very strong bond with you to be so distressed.
I have a siamese too and they REALLY love their owners. I am going to second the posters above who say she needs time with you- and that may not be possible as you have so many other demands on you at the moment. Maybe try the cat behaviourist (and replace smelly carpets etc to get rid of the scent) but if you are sure you have done your best, and your cat is still unhappy, rehoming her to a quieter home where she is gets lots of attention may be best for you all.
Good luck.