Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

At The End Of My Tether With Cat

163 replies

Moodymagpie · 02/04/2020 21:11

We have 2 female cats a 6 year old bengal and a 2 year old siamese.

The siamese is driving me nuts.

She was perfectly fine up until 6 months ago when our littlest DD was born when siamese suddenly became kitty from hell. She's destructive, she always used to use her cat tree, now she's tagging carpets, bedding, furniture, climbing curtains ect. She's become aggressive to our bengal, who is the most gentle and non aggressive cat ever.

But the worst thing is she's stopped using her litter tray... We have a total of 3 litter boxes in our house.. One for each cat and one spare.

She's a Fing nightmare.

She pees on all the baby clothes, the cot, shits on the carpet in the nursery, shits right next to the litter box.

The back door is open during the day now as the weather is warming up.. She won't go out and do her business. I've tried everything

Locking the doors, she meowls and doesn't stop,

Clean the litter box daily and scoop and soon as its been used. She refuses to use it.

I've taken her to the vet incase she had an underlying health problem. She doesn't. Shes just being a bastard.

I've tried feliway, Orange peel, pepper, bleach

I've even locked her outside for a few hours... As soon as she came in she went straight to the clean pile of baby washing and peed all over it.

She's currently locked in the shed with food, water her bed and a litter box.

Please help. I don't know what else to do and I don't want to rehome her. I know the baby is a huge change for her and she's stressed...

OP posts:
Original poster
Moodymagpie · 02/04/2020 21:38

I'm not punishing her at all... I've put her in there for an hour or so while I clean up her mess because she can't be trusted not to do it elsewhere...

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 02/04/2020 21:38

You want a cat behaviourist - starting with Vicky Halls is a good step if you can't find one, her books have sorted out every cat issue I've ever had, or to rehome your cat with breed rescue.

Your cat is unhappy - she isn't doing it on purpose to annoy you. If you get a Siamese you also need to be prepared for more issues than the average cat owner.

BovaryX · 02/04/2020 21:38

@Moodymagpie
It's not cruel

Er, yes. It absolutely is cruel. You are describing a stressed, unhappy cat that you have locked in a shed because you don't understand why he is distressed. How long have you had him? Why did you get a Bengal and a Siamese?

slipperywhensparticus · 02/04/2020 21:40

She needs medication my cat had to be medicated after I had my first he hid in the kitchen cupboard and stress pulled his fur out one lot of meds and he was fine

Original poster
Moodymagpie · 02/04/2020 21:41

I'm sorry. I don't get what's 'cruel' about putting her in an environment she loves to play in, where she easily come and go as she pleases via a cat flap which is always open. She has food, water her favourite bed and blanket and plenty of toys.

She's not in there indefinitely.

She's in there for an hour.

She isn't being abused, she isn't getting screamed at.

Jesus wept.

OP posts:
Moodymagpie · 02/04/2020 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

crispysausagerolls · 02/04/2020 21:44

It’s very easy for people who are calm and in their arm chairs to judge you, OP. I have a dog - if he was shitting and peeing all over my baby’s things I too would have a momentary lapse in calm. I would probably leave him in the garden until it was cleaned up! I wouldn’t actually, because the little shit would just bark and bark and bark. But if he didn’t I would 🙈 doesn’t mean I don’t love him and you don’t love your cat - it’s just upsetting and difficult. I’m sure it’s an additional layer to it all instinctively that it’s your child’s possessions he is soiling. That would REALLY upset me, much more than anything else.

Nombie · 02/04/2020 21:45

Sounds like you've done all you can, give her some more time to adjust or consider rehoming. It sucks, I've done it, but when an animal isn't happy it can be better for all involved. She may be happier with someone else for the rest of her life. It's harder on us the humans than the pet.

BovaryX · 02/04/2020 21:45

The best plan is to rehome the cat. You seem very angry, you don't seem to have any affection for the cat and the cat sounds distressed. The current situation clearly isn't working.

ilovesooty · 02/04/2020 21:45

Why did you describe her as "locked" in the shed then?

You haven't answered any enquiries about whether you've sought behavioural support.

Original poster
Moodymagpie · 02/04/2020 21:46

She's been to the vet, several times. Nothing works.

OP posts:
GlamGiraffe · 02/04/2020 21:47

One of our two burmese went suddenly mad when I was pregnant. Ambushing me to attack, viciously biting drawing blood every time with deep puncture Marks it was a non stop nightmare.
Our vet also recommended vicky halls like a pp at vickyhalls.net she saved us from rehoming our cat and we now having a happy feline once again. It sounded faddy but she quickly identified several issues which were easy to sort out.it was worth the visit of the consultation.

BovaryX · 02/04/2020 21:47

@Moodymagpie
You posted here for advice and you come across as angry and argumentative. The cat sounds distressed. Consider rehoming. And quit @ me.

Original poster
Moodymagpie · 02/04/2020 21:48

I love her to bits. I've just had enough. I've spent countless ££ on treatments for her, scents, foods, doing this doing that, spending time with her.

It's hard when you have a 6 year old a 18 month old and a 6 month old.

OP posts:
BovaryX · 02/04/2020 21:49

She isn't being abused or whatever you idiot.

Wow. Calm down. You are very aggressive.

ilovesooty · 02/04/2020 21:49

The vet is not behavioural support.

Lefkosia · 02/04/2020 21:50

Oh come off it OP you wanted the angry answers. That's why you said you'd locked her in the shed with all her stuff, then said there's a cat flap. Well she's not locked in then is she? You used deliberately emotive language, then to goad people even more didn't mention she was only in there for an hour in a specially made cat shed with loads for her to do in there.

Nope, you made it sound like the cat had been kicked out to a sealed, bog standard garden shed to live indefinitely. I wonder why you did that.

Skeeter2020 · 02/04/2020 21:52

You need to watch she doesn't go for your baby

ilovesooty · 02/04/2020 21:52

Lefkosia I wondered that too.

WifflyWaffle · 02/04/2020 21:53

I don’t have cats but I just wanted to say that it sounds really stressful and that I do feel for you because I’d be seriously unhappy if I had a cat pooing and weeing all over my carpets and baby things constantly and being aggressive to my other pets. If it’s jealousy of your baby, your baby isn’t going to go away so your household can revolve around your cat again. Perhaps rehoming is the only way if she’s making you this unhappy.

Original poster
Moodymagpie · 02/04/2020 21:55

I am angry.

I'm angry, stressed, tired.. The whole fucking lot.

It's easy for you to sit in your chairs, hiding behind your screens. The fact of the matter is the cat, although I'm aware distressed, is being a pain in my freaking ass.

Spending time with her alone is impossible when I'm trying to rally a 6 year old, an 18 month old and my 6 month old.

I have done everything but be nasty to her, I understand why she's doing it. And that is fair enough. However, its my babies items she is ruining, and no matter what I do she won't stop.

I won't tolerate that.

I love that cat more than people sat tapping away on thier phones will ever know... You weren't there when she gave birth to the kittens she had when I rescued her.

I was.

And I broke the sacks because she couldn't. I was up all night beside her... Worried sick about her... Don't tell me I don't love her. This is tearing me apart.

OP posts:
81Byerley · 02/04/2020 21:56

I wouldn't be able to put up with that. I feel for you. I would rehome her, for your sake, your other cat, and for her.

Original poster
Moodymagpie · 02/04/2020 21:56

... Poor choice of words while infuriated... Nothing more.

I don't want the angry replies. I want to find out what I can do to help her.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 02/04/2020 21:56

It would be much kinder to rehome her through a breed specific rescue to a home where her needs can be met. They're evidently not being met where she is now.

BovaryX · 02/04/2020 21:58

Are you for real? Rehome the cat.