At The End Of My Tether With Cat

[Moodymagpie]

We have 2 female cats a 6 year old bengal and a 2 year old siamese.

The siamese is driving me nuts.

She was perfectly fine up until 6 months ago when our littlest DD was born when siamese suddenly became kitty from hell. She's destructive, she always used to use her cat tree, now she's tagging carpets, bedding, furniture, climbing curtains ect. She's become aggressive to our bengal, who is the most gentle and non aggressive cat ever.

But the worst thing is she's stopped using her litter tray... We have a total of 3 litter boxes in our house.. One for each cat and one spare.

She's a Fing nightmare.

She pees on all the baby clothes, the cot, shits on the carpet in the nursery, shits right next to the litter box.

The back door is open during the day now as the weather is warming up.. She won't go out and do her business. I've tried everything

Locking the doors, she meowls and doesn't stop,

Clean the litter box daily and scoop and soon as its been used. She refuses to use it.

I've taken her to the vet incase she had an underlying health problem. She doesn't. Shes just being a bastard.

I've tried feliway, Orange peel, pepper, bleach

I've even locked her outside for a few hours... As soon as she came in she went straight to the clean pile of baby washing and peed all over it.

She's currently locked in the shed with food, water her bed and a litter box.

Please help. I don't know what else to do and I don't want to rehome her. I know the baby is a huge change for her and she's stressed...

Does the cat go outside (other than shed)? If not it might be better.
Siamese love being people, I suspect like mist people with a baby you ate keeping the cat at distance from your baby and its things and the siamese doesnt understand why its suddenly geen kicked out of its place in the family ranking. They are very clever and remarkably like people. A Bengal or other type of cat wouldnt care.
A siamese would physically protest and make a hell of a vocal protest. I think you need to find a way of somehow give the cat a place in the family again. A place where she can sit with hou at a time maybe in the evenings on the sofa for example where you stroke her. Some toys kept in a Tupperware box with catnip that you chuck to her in the day as a distraction. She will thank you for them (then put them back to recharge with the smell). Possibly the more she thinks shes annoyed with the worse her behaviour will be. It's worth a try. But call vicky halls

You come across as a very angry person. The kindest thing you can do is rehome the cat.

You say you have an 18 month old and your cat is 2yo (now you also have a 6 month old)

How was your cat when you were pregnant with your 2nd baby?

Was there jealousy like this?

Our first cat was ok when I was pg , liked me being home but very unimpressed with DS (noisy ) . No soiling or anything.
When I had DD she was positivitly throwing up her paws in horror but again no animosity to her .

Some cats really don't cope with changes

I know someone who had major changes at home. Mother died, got a roommate, roommate has a dog. Cat changed overnight, stopped using the litterbox, became unfriendly and so on. She bought one of those Kitty Diffusers. It's a plug in like a room freshener thing? It has some calming pheromone or something. Anyway, within a few hours, she felt like she had her old cat back! You can get them online, or at any shop that sells pet items.

Siamese cats are very unusually intelligent. I actually think they can understand some of what you say so I would have a chat with the cat anytime it was naughty and say you understand how it feels and stuff, if it meows just listen and nod so it knows you're listening to its concerns X

I get you and my cats are not even quite as challenging as your cat , when you have a young baby and you're sleep deprived and on edge always trying to manage the cats behaviour and be aware of what it's doing or what's it about to destroy, it's stressful, especially when you have tried and tried and given more love and affection and put time and money into trying to make their life comfortable and they (in your case literally ) shit all over it, it can just be the last straw and I have definitely shut my cats out and called them worse than a bastard while I cool down and sort out the situation they have caused and make sure they don't do something else in the meantime.

Not much great advice as I'm still trying to figure out what to do in my case as well but I know how you are feeling.

The cat needs to be rehomed you have tried your best by taking her to the vets etc but I boy it isn’t working. Your stressed out, your other car is stressed out and that is going to put pressure on you as a family especially during this lock down situation, I never say give a pet away as I’m a animal lover but in all honesty it’s best for everyone’s sake including kitty that she is rehomed.

We had a male Siamese like this (rescue) and our vet prescribed one eighth of a Valium tablet twice a day. It worked wonders for his anxiety

Please understand here that she isn't coming to any harm. I'd never allow that.

Putting her into the shed, where she can get in and out into the garden and beyond, I'm sorry it isn't cruel.

People who abuse thier animals are cruel.

Malnurishment, physical abuse and screaming at the cat are acts of punishment.

Removing her from the situation to a place she's warm, comfortable and oddly enough doesn't shit all over isn't abuse.

She isn't there forever,

She's not locked in a cramped tiny box unable to breathe..

I'd hate to think how you people crucify real animal abusers...

Rehome her, you cannot let an animal dominate the household and shit everywhere, it's disgusting and unhygienic. I'm sure someone will give her a home.

Moodymagpie ask if MN can move this to The Litter Tray. You might find some sympathetic cat owners who have or are going through what you are and may offer valuable advice.

I would honestly rehome her to give her the chance to be in an environment she finds less stressful.
You are not being unreasonable and anyone who suggests you are cruel to put her in a cat-adapted shed possibly haven't RTFT.

I absolutely feel for you op - there is no way I could put up with a cat shitting and peeing on baby clothes.

I have read the full thread. And now we have the additional information that the cat doesn't soil in the shed, which makes it likely that the home is too stressful for her. There will however be home environment which will meet her needs.

You might love her but she's clearly not happy where she is.

The kindest thing to do would be to rehome her to a childfree home - preferably one with experience of Siamese as they're not the same as your average moggy.

You have two pretty high maintenance breeds there - add three young children into the mix and I'm not surprised you're stressed!

Be kind to yourself

OP you have described the cat as being locked in the shed, and everyone will continue to react to that. If the cat isn't actually locked in the shed it was pointless to say that, it's just going to get people's backs up. I suggest you try again another time and phrase it better. Eg. "The cat is currently not allowed in the house, but has access to a large dry shed with food, bedding and toys".

Have you given her specifically built very high ip shelves or ledges/ tall furniture to sit on in your house?
Siamese and burmese both like being up high by nature and feel safe. They climb curtains to sit on top etc and on doirframes etc. It gives them security. If you have dome tall bookcases make them accessible and show her. Show her the baby cautiously and that it's a good thing. We did with ours but clearly kept them in separate rooms all the time. We still made sure they had dome opportunity it yo sit with up and play with us, without that it isnt fair. Siamese cats ate kittens for life. You have to he prepated to play with them a bit like that. Get a fishing toy and wave it around a bit. Catnip toys. Shes fighting the other one because shes bored. If you cant do that you gave to rehome her. You might have yo rehome both if they are used to living g as a pair though. I know you are probably at the end of your tether and shattered. Dome breeds of cats are independent like others and need human interaction. Siamese are one of them. They make lovely pets but are hard work especially if upu have one not a pair. You do have to give something for them yo behave nicely and they will be lovely. Your vet sounds very inexperienced in feline behaviour if he hadnt discussed these things but please decide to see vicky halls or decide whether to keep the cats. It's not fair on you to deal with this or for the cat to obviously be persistently worried enough do this. Good luck.

Rescue centres hear this story every day - new baby comes along and suddenly a previously compliant pet is showing its distress through its behaviour. Don’t try and blame the cat - just rehome her to someone who is hopefully less angry and more willing to address their pet’s needs.

@Moodymagpie
She sounds incredibly stressed by the arrival of the new baby and the change in the scent profile around the house. When cats are anxious they tend to mark to try and normalise the scent by scratching and urinating.

Punishing her, orange peel pepper and bleach are just adding to her stress, further disrupting the scent profile in the house and encouraging her to urinate.

She isn't being a dick and she doesn't have the cognitive capacity to be planning a deliberate campaign to upset you. She's an incredibly anxious and frightened cat who is desperately trying to normalise scent by scratching and urinating and who is being punished for being scared by the person who is supposed to look after her.

How long did you try Feliway for and did you use it whilst shouting at her and bleaching/pepper because if so you've just totally wanted your money.

She needs consistency and normalisation of scent. these links have some useful advice

icatcare.org/advice/cats-and-babies/

icatcare.org/advice/stress-in-cats/

icatcare.org/advice/making-your-home-cat-friendly/

What sort of litter do you use OP? And what sort of trays?

3 of mine will only use their hooded litter trays, they dont even attempt to try the open litter tray

I know you said you struggle for time, but do try and spend a bit more time with her

She is being a bastard

Ive recently moved and one of my boys kept spaying in the front room! ( 4 cats ) He has spent an entire month not being allowed anywhere in the house aside from the kitchen/dining room and outside! He had several chances, kept spaying so he got banned. He's been allowed to roam the house for the past week and he hasnt spayed anywhere since

If all else fails your going to have to ban her from the house really, if she has a shed specifically designed for cats she will be absolutely fine but i couldnt cope with her keep weeing on the baby clothes

Siamese are known for being ~awkward divas~ sensitive and high maintenance. Her living environment has been permanently changed by the baby's arrival and she can't cope. The kindest thing you could do would be rehome her via a breed-specific rescue organisation to a child-free household that is going to stay that way.

Unless you want to rehome the baby, which I'm guessing you don't...

Just rehome the cat.

Have you tried animal communication?
Please google it, it might be worth a try.
I was initially sceptical but loved it so much I did some training in it.

Seconding a PP that it would be a good idea to move this thread to The Litter Tray.

The idea that people are giving their cats mind altering drugs like valium and Prozac is worrying me more than OPs story. Would you slip such drugs into your children's food if they were stressed? It's not ethical on a cat either