To wonder why I'm getting abuse?

[NewDOOFUSfor20]

I'm an A&E nurse, I have had to leave my DH and ds at home and move into accommodation as I pose a risk to them both. This was not an easy decision, I'm heartbroken as is my family, but it felt like I'm damned if I do damned if I don't.
Last night on a "spotted" page I follow on Facebook somebody wrote in to ask if them and their 3 friends that they are "spending isolation together" with could go to the park for a game of football. I asked them if they thought this was a holiday, I took that terminology as "spending Christmas together", and suggested playing their football game in the garden. Oh my god, the abuse I have been given! Apparently this is something I signed up for (bloody well didn't sign up to have to leave my family), I am part of the problem as I'm spreading this around, I'm "thick" because a game of football is a form of exercise and that is allowed under government guidelines, I'm bitter because they can spend time playing with their mates whereas I've walked out in my family.

I honestly don't get this. Spending isolation together makes it sound like they're not taking this seriously, football games are not essential (and are being dispersed by police). It's mainly 20-something men that have been abusive, not that that makes a difference I guess, and they have displayed an enormous lack of ignorance around the whole situation.

Do I deserve the abuse I've been getting? Should I have just stfu (I have barely commented on anything on Facebook because our trust are monitoring our social media). I just got annoyed that people are STILL disregarding the guidelines set out, if they continue to act like this then we will be facing similar measures to Spain and Italy where any outdoor exercise is forbidden.

I’m not sure why but I’d have expected a nurse to know there was no list of allowed exercise, or even spot logically that the image posted where it states you can exercise with members of your household would mean that the football was permissable.

I also think people moving in together during lock down is a great idea. It means only one has to go to the shops at a given time, exercise can be done together, and people have company, because isolation can lead to mental health issues. I’d also expect a nurse to grasp that too.

But more importantly to know that by people locking down together, or under taking daily exercise with those they live with, doesn’t mean they think it’s holiday time.

This is very difficult for everyone, and a little kind ness goes a long way.

You don't deserve the abuse, you are doing essential work and making sacrifices to do it. However, give facebook a rest or at least don't be so open about everything or get into discussions on this particular subject.

This crisis seems to have brought out the best and the worst in many people and I'm sorry you've had to put up with so much. It won't last forever but it's pretty awful while it does.

I hope you and yours stay well.

Well I can see why football isn't actively encouraged as a form of exercise at it is a team sport that cuts across the ability to practice social distancing. However, if the people in question are part of one household, then I see no problem and it's no different to going out for a walk, run etc. No you don't deserve abuse but as other posters have said maybe FB isn't the best place for you either as it will only add to your frustration. Try to remember that although you have it hard right now that doesn't mean that others cannot exercise the way they choose (if it's appropriate).

Neither the law nor the guidelines issued to police are definitive. There are inconsistencies and ambiguity in both. A thousand arguments have ensued by people trying to definitely interpret these rather woolly instructions. It's unhelpful that they're not clearer (but how can you list everything?) and even more unhelpful squabbling about them.

So why not remember what we're trying to achieve here? We are trying to prevent the spread of a virus between people and for that we need to avoid people we don't live with (and even avoid those we do live with if they're unwell or shielding).

Three of four people who live together walking a short distance to a park and playing football whilst keeping their social distance will NOT increase the risk beyond what is deemed acceptable by the guidelines. I've just seen a family - mum, dad, two kids - doing just that. I'm damned if I can see what they're doing wrong. They're enjoying the sun, getting some exercise and spending time together as a family. We are not in complete lockdown at the moment. It is perfectly reasonable to leave your house for exercise provided you keep your distance from others.

I asked if they viewed it as a holiday....spending isolation together/spending Christmas together/spending Thanksgiving together/spending Easter together

Does it matter if they do? The only issue is risk. They are no greater risk in terms of spreading C19 if they view it as a holiday or view it as work or anything else.

(1) Of course you don't deserve abuse, but you know that.

(2) Every NHS member of staff knew that infectious diseases are a possibility and that isolation, particularly in times of a pandemic, would be a possibility.

Thank you for your hard work in these uncertain times. Focus on the positives and not the negatives as you'll make yourself ill.

Three of four people who live together walking a short distance to a park and playing football whilst keeping their social distance will NOT increase the risk beyond what is deemed acceptable by the guidelines

Agree, provided they use common sense.
But if they're taking up so much room that others walking in the park have their space restricted trying to keep away from the footballers then not OK.
It shouldn't have to be spelled out to us or policed if everyone behaves reasonably.

Sorry but it's all about context
3 randoms meeting in a park football no
3 people moved together to isolate go out to quite park and have a kick around instead of doing laps of the park yes.

You didn't deserve it. And you're rightly on edge........but at the same time 3 people having a kickabout in an open space is fine.

We've been carrying on as normal regarding outdoor stuff so walks / frisbee.

What they seriously need to do is instead of hassling dog walkers on a massive beach 🙄 concentrate on the ones walking through farmers fields or areas where there are a lot of Stiles / gates. These are the walks I have stopped.

They are arseholes, so why say anything? You are doing a wonderful job and I plus so many others have so much respect for you

In the nicest possible way, don't comment, it's not like you'll change their opinion.

Unfortunately whilst the 'rules' remain "advice" there will be those who don't follow it. Italy had a total lockdown - nobody leaving their homes and I can see the UK going the same way. This weekend the weather is forecast to be really good so will be interesting to see behaviours. Unfortunately I think people will be out and about in public spaces not taking on board the advice and this will force our government to treat us all like the idiots who just don't get it.

And no, OP you shouldn't have had abuse. I get it's difficult to stay at home, but far more difficult to be working with those infected on a daily basis plus the personal sacrifices some of us are making.

As a vulnerable older person, I am extremely grateful to doctors, nurses, and others on the frontline and cannot understand why any would get abuse.

I am so, so disappointed by the number of people who think that their lifestyle can't be interrupted for just a few weeks. I've now been self-isolated for 3 weeks, so know how hard it is. Of course, it's inconvenient. Of course, it will drive you crazy. But it WILL save lives.

@NewDOOFUSfor20
So sad to hear your having to isolated from your family doing a much valued role in all this.
Things are anxious, people are not kind enough at the moment, see that with to much looking.
You will certainly be anxious with what is your current home life without the added anxiousness with your work situation.

You make a comment which you thought their actions was going to add to the burden, it Was answered curtly.

I’d let it go for what it was.
I really hope you won’t be attending and caring to any of that group in future.

I don't see how anyone can think the rules are 'advice' - the police are enforcing them. Just because they are not absolutely black and white in every single case, is no excuse for trying to find ways to flout the fact or spirit of them. How can anyone think that 'playing footy in the park with your mates' is possible within the rules?

Thank you for all of your input, whether it be for or against. I will be stepping back from all social media platforms from now on and focusing on my turbo trainer.

I never thought I'd hear myself say it but, given the ambiguity and personal interpretation of advice and guidance given by the NHS and the government, I will welcome the measures that both the Italians and Spanish have implemented. The whole "Stay at home, Save Lives" slogan is an absolute joke phrase that really has no meaning.

I don't need thanks for doing my job, I don't flash my badge to get in supermarkets quicker, I don't take up the free stuff being thrown at us, I don't need clapping to know that we're appreciated....all I want is for people to adopt some responsibility and not do something, just because it hasn't been spelled out in exact terms that it shouldn't be done.

Police/passing people don't know if a group are in the same household so would be forced to interact to check/break it up. Of course you didn't sign up for this. You sign up to care for people not risk your life with no PPE.

Jaxhog: Because there are no 'rules' saying people in the same household can't exercise together outdoors. And no 'rules' saying what that exercise can or can't be. So it's perfectly fine for 3 or 4 people from the same household to kick a ball about in the park so long as they observe social distancing from others. They could all play hopscotch if they want. Or hula hoop together.

Also no 'rules' giving Police powers to tell people they can exercise or not or what form that should take.

If 22 people from different households meet up for a football match, the Police can ask them to disperse and go home.

What's described here? No.

Can you explain where you feel the danger lies in 3 people from the same household playing football together as long as they stay away from others? Or 3 people moving in together for the whole lockdown period? Because I don't see it.

OP you are still convinced you are right despite there being no rule saying people of the same household can’t exercise together. It’s just your opinion that they shouldn’t.

You didn't deserve abuse but I saw a parent and young child Kicking a ball about an empty field and thought- they look like they're having fun- is that not allowed?

3 people living together in the same household surely can kick a ball about as long as they're maintaining social distancing otherwise.

This crisis is unprecedented and we’re all trying to get through it as best we can. People making remarks like “this isn’t a holiday” only serve to cause division and animosity.
Just mind your own in future and you won’t open yourself up to abuse, justified or not.

I never thought I'd hear myself say it but, given the ambiguity and personal interpretation of advice and guidance given by the NHS and the government, I will welcome the measures that both the Italians and Spanish have implemented. The whole "Stay at home, Save Lives" slogan is an absolute joke phrase that really has no meaning

I think it does have meaning. The vast majority understand the rules (not you though, clearly)
The government said you can do a form of exercise (they didn’t specify what sort) outside with members of your household. Your earlier pic of the independent article wasn’t exactly backing your point because the people you’re talking about live together. Which is allowed.
Other than exercise, medical need, food shopping and the like, you need to stay at home.
It’s really not that hard and OP I think you’re the one who has misread the policy and now you realise your comment was incorrect, you’re struggling to accept that other people can do those things because you’ve had to leave your home and live elsewhere

I don't see what is wrong with friends isolating together. I work in MH and the impact being alone is having on so many people is devastating. It seems like a sensible solution as long as they stick together and follow the rules for households.

And your opinion that the slogan is a joke with no meaning? Get a grip op, you clearly came on here expecting universal agreement and when you didn’t get it you trot out this nonsense.