Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Very elderly shopping in Sainsburys today!

309 replies

ohdearmissus · 31/03/2020 15:48

AIBU to feel unusually angry when seeing elderly (80's90's) shopping in Sainsburys today?
Angry enough to be posting here in aibu for the 1st time.
I realise that I am probably naive..but the elderly that I know are self isolating and being responsible...following the instructions we have been given..
I understand that they are likely aware of the risks...but I am trying to work out if I am raging because I'm thinking that if they do become ill..they will expect to be cared for by the nhs.
Quite simply..of the people that I saw today..if they catch coronavirus...baring a miracle...it will be the end for them..Maybe what has made me so angry is that if people are clearly not following the advice (I had thought that most were)...then this is going to continue to spread.
We all have to do our bit.
Happy to be told iabu..but trying to calm myself down by posting here!

OP posts:
Toomboom · 31/03/2020 17:46

My elderly parents live too far away from me to be able to buy their food for them. I cannot get any supermarket slots for them, so they have no choice but to go to the supermarket. What do you want them to do, starve to death to relieve the burden??

You are being very unreasonable!!

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 17:48

Totally agree with you ToomBoom

CarolHasAnotherUTI · 31/03/2020 17:49

@peterlon1

Did you miss my question? I'll repeat. Why are scientists concerned about funding?

anotherlittlechicken · 31/03/2020 17:50

@ohdearmissus

Hmm

YABVVVVVVVVVVVU.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 17:51

Been living on same veg stew for 5 days and counting out the pieces of pasta to eek it out, then thought what the hell am I doing this is the 21st century for heaven sake.

AlunWynsKnee · 31/03/2020 17:57

Some pensioners can't afford a big enough shop to get a free delivery slot. So they may not want to do it even if they do know how to do it online. And many of them are perfectly good at tech. Tim Berners-Lee is 65 this year so plenty of 70+ were working in IT in the 60s and 70s.

Strawberrycreamsundae · 31/03/2020 17:57

Bloody hell!
Perhaps OP would like to magic up some online delivery slots rather than venting on here?
I’m high risk, I don’t qualify for the so called priority slots, and Iike them I have no choice other than to get somehow to the supermarket if I am to survive the isolation period.
What alternative would you suggest OP?

Port1aCastis · 31/03/2020 17:57

Did you offer to help, have you volunteered at all ? Not everyone who is retired has to stay home you know just those with underlying health concerns and :don't forget how long they must have paid into the NHS for and also you are not immune and could end up using the nhs
The latest deaths include a 19 year old and a 21year old

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 17:58

Scientists are always concerned about funding, they have to have a cause to care about was same in 50’s 60’s 70’s and just about every decade I can remember. There has always been some threat on the horizon that research needs funding for, I am not adverse to it I just sometimes think it is not always so important in the great scheme of life, keeping out planet safe and green is worth it but there is a lot that isn’t. If we didn’t play around with so much stuff perhaps MERS, SARS and Coronovirus which are all one big happy family might not exist.

Strawberrycreamsundae · 31/03/2020 17:59

And even if you received the priority email/text there aren’t any slots available according to many of my elderly friends.

CarolHasAnotherUTI · 31/03/2020 18:01

Hahaha. Okay. PeterLoon might be more appropriate!

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 18:02

Hey Strawberrycreamsundae I know exactly how you feel, I help you if I could but probably just fall over again.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 18:04

Now why would you say that CarolHasAnotherUTI ?

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 18:05

I should let you all know that since lockdown this has been my fravourite pastime. Can you guess?

VerbenaGirl · 31/03/2020 18:07

Ultimately it is up to them. Maybe for them being shut in is much much worse than the chance of catching the virus. Some older people are taking the attitude that they are prepared to take the risk and don’t actually want medical intervention if the do fall ill.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 18:10

Yes you are right it is up to us, nearly died last year but the buggers kept me alive, not sure why? Forgive me if a times my typing is a bit off but like the legs the hands don’t always work either lol

TapertandEdkins · 31/03/2020 18:13

My mother worked for the NHS for over 40 years. Why wouldn't she expect to be cared for by the NHS? Did I miss something and health care is now only available to the under 60s.

An ignorant post that has made me incredibly sad.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 18:16

no TapertandEdkins You didnt miss anything I think you just misunderstood someone’s view on how others think.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 18:19

do you think cooking mince that has been in the freezer for nearly a year would do you any harm? waste not want not you know what i mean

lmcneil003 · 31/03/2020 18:23

YANBU. A lot of them have attitudes like 'I lived through the war, and this isn't that bad. They were children in the war....

HelloYouTwo · 31/03/2020 18:25

I know the OP has come back to say she hadn’t quite understood but really. Just.Stop.And.Think.Before.You.Post!!

Is it so hard to use your imagination about how other people’s lives might be different to your own?

I live hours away from my elderly, rural-living parents.

They are not internet savvy but even if I did an online shop for them they are too remote for deliveries.

They have one neighbouring house, also with elderly residents.

They need to eat.

My dad has dementia. For him the routine of shopping is important. For my Mum the routine of seeing anyone that isn’t my Dad is vital to her mental health.

I work. I live too far to pop in. I call everyday. I would like to see my parents. I would like to help my parents. But I can’t go and see them socially and I’m too far away to be useful to pretend that I’m not breaking the restrictions in some way if I do go to see them.

NOW can you see why older people might need to go out and buy their own food????

possumgoddess · 31/03/2020 18:26

I am not one of the very elderly - however I am definitely one of the vulnerable. Because I am not in the 'extremely vulnerable' category and not over 70 I can't even look for a delivery slot as they are all allocated to the extremely vulnerable (which I do understand). I also can't get a click and collect slot, except at a supermarket 20 miles away which we're not allowed to travel to. What choice do I have? I can order fresh meat and fruit and veg from an online supplier but not milk, bread, pasta, butter, cheese or eggs. So to get those I have to go shopping myself or do without, unless somebody very kindly offers to help me. I am self isolating to keep myself as safe as possible because I have 3 risk factors - but unless somebody helps me out I will have to go shopping eventually. Maybe it is the same for them.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 18:27

well if that is the perspective in the 10 worst battles of the 2nd WW over 1 million died the lowest of those was ! think 185,000

VideographybyLouBloom · 31/03/2020 18:31

Are you for real? You sound at best naive and at worst a supercilious twat! You do realise that many elderly people don’t have anyone to shop for them, no home computer or internet to make a food delivery and there are no delivery slots at most supermarkets anyway. How the fuck do you think they are going to get their food and necessities? Should they starve to death and make way for people such as you, who are obviously far more important?

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 18:35

oh Dear HelloYouTwo you do have a dilemma I whish i know how to advise you but like yourself we are all a bit helpless. and i know just how you feel possumgoddess just out of the age range but have several health issue that make me high risk, also very badly defective mobility wise and am prone to falls etc. I have no relatives near by and those that are within travelling distance don't drive so I like you have no choice. went out today and almost collapsed from pain before I was even half way round cos of standing outside to wait my turn to go in, then i couldn't get all I needed so still counting pasta by the piece to eek it out.